Launch My Line: Episode 7

Alright kittens, let's get down to it.

WANT: This show to be better.
NEED: This show to be over.

Here's an idea. How about instead of stunt-casting the Wonder Twinks, Bravo just reaches back into the pool of talent they helped nurture and use them to host/judge the show? Kara Saun had more interesting things to say, made better connections with the designers, and showed more comfort and ease in front of the cameras than Dan and Dean did the entire season. And think how much time could be saved without the twins having to change their outfits every time the camera sets up? Cast Uncle Nick as the host and get Kara Saun, Jay, and Laura to be the judges. We'd watch the HELL out of that. Wouldn't you?


So congrats, Kathy and Emil, who had to come up with a look that went from company party to a hot night club opening.

I don't know what "company" this chick works for but it's got a pretty lax dress code, wouldn't you say? The jacket's fine but the top is slutastic.

We like the skirt.

But we hate THAT. Gals, answer this: would you wear a flip-up skirt? It's like reversible wrap dresses. Clever, but who the hell would wear that?

Eric and Galina: Religious event to a high society cocktail party

We don't actually hate this. Maybe it's just that it's probably the least offensive look they've put out so far. It's not exactly classy or demur, but it is for those two.

THAT's awful, though.

We like the fabric they chose for the top and we like the idea of a bejeweled collar, but these two elements don't go together as well as they should.

Merle and Thai: Company party to a high society cocktail party

Not a bad entry, all things considered. She should have really had this one in the bag, though.

The jacket's kinda bleh.

But that back is spectacular.

And that hem is weird.

Louanna and Jim: Baby shower to a movie premiere

The judges said that Louanna failed to make a suitable baby-shower-to-movie-premiere outfit. You know why, judges? THERE'S NO SUCH THING. Not that it excuses the weirdness of this design. For one, the colors are pukey. Who wears a shiny white pants suit over a shiny pink blouse? Gross.

For another, there's just way too much volume all over this thing. Volume on the jacket sleeves...

Volume on the blouse...

And volume in the pants. Honey, turn the volume down. Oh wait. They sent you home. Never mind.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Hey! Remember this show?

Eric & Galina

Believe it or not, we almost like this look.

First, we would have to get rid of that ill-advised vest and of course we would have to switch out those glaringly mismatched shoes...

And the dress fits her terribly, but we really like the way they treated the fabric. For these two, it made for a surprisingly interesting look.

Kathy & Emil

This, on the other hand, was surprisingly bad.

We say "surprisingly" because even when they weren't hitting it out of the park, you could usually count on them for a solid piece, mostly well executed, rendered in some eye-catching color combinations.

We're not seeing any of that here

The fabric is HIDDY ...

And the whole thing borders on vulgar. Plus, what's up with the fugly colors?

Louanna & Jim

Up is down and black is white because this crack-is-whack show has us defending a designer we're not inclined to defend...

...and defending a look we'd never normally have much to say about.

Okay, let's get this out of the way: It's an outfit you could literally buy anywhere in America for under 50 bucks. Under 30 if you really know what you're doing. As such, no, it's not high fashion in any way whatsoever.

You know what? NEITHER IS ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS SHOW. We found ourselves getting annoyed at the judges sniffing over this look. The fact of the matter is, they were two well-made and well designed pieces and on a show with SO MUCH ASS on the runway, she should have been lauded for putting out something that doesn't look like a joke.



[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Launch My Line: Congrats & Goodbye

Limping to the finish line.

Darlings, it's become increasingly tiresome to sit through an episode of this show. However, unlike The Fashion Show, we still think this one has potential. We like the concept, the production, and even the cast, for the most part. What's making it difficult are the judges. If there's a season 2, we'd like to see all 4 of them scrapped. There's not a hair of difference in point of view between them and they're all so damn tacky that every episode we wind up thinking, "Why the hell am I supposed to care what these people think?"

Whoops. That was a little rant-y.

So, congrats Merle! We thought you were on your way out the door and apparently, so did you. We have to say, though, that jacket is HORRIFIC.

And the dress isn't really all that much to write home about, although it is very well made and fits her like a second skin.

It's just that we're getting awfully tired of the gimmick, y'know?

We get it. That's the "hook" for the whole line, but it just comes across a little, shall we say, downscale.

Which does tend to make for some comedy when Merle swans around the workroom, sniffing at everyone else's work like some couturier. Honey, they sell dresses like yours on TV at 3 in the morning. The attitude is a bit much.

Still, we do kind of love her. Especially for the "Denim is for farmers" line.

But honey, there's no defending that.


This would be the look that inspired that little rant of ours up the page. Actually, that's not quite true. It wasn't the look so much as it was the judges' reaction to it.

Not that any of the looks last night (or most other nights) were so far ahead of this one, but come on, this look was the clear loser and the judges all hemmed and hawed and made excuses for it.

They make THE EXACT SAME DRESS every week with only slight variations and if it was a pretty design or an innovative one, we might excuse their tendency to return to it again and again, but it's not. It's flat out ugly. And the judges defend it - praise it, even - week after week.


Come on.

And if you look through his collection, you'll see the exact same neckline again and again.


Ugh. We can't.

We like Patrick very much. In fact, we think Bravo should consider giving him his own show. We'd certainly watch him dash from fashion event to fashion event all over NYC. Consider it, Andy Cohen.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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LML: Runway Rundown

Arrrh, matey!

Patrick & Roberto

It's kind of endearing how Patrick always looks absolutely terrified whenever he has to face the judges. We don't know why. They obviously have no taste whatsoever.

They gave this a pass, didn't they?

Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?

That's right. NO ONE. No woman in her right mind would ever wear this unless a gun was held to her head by a crazed fashion designer (i.e., Roberto).

Seriously? Come on now.

It's so bad that it's not even deserving of a critique.

That is the cheapest-looking, ugliest fabric we've seen in a long time. It out does even the DJ's tacky disco ball dress. We've always been completely comfortable with the idea that this show doesn't have any credibility from a fashion point of view, but how about some credibility in the "not making us throw up from the searing eye pain" point of view?

Louanna & Jim

We just don't know about this one, kittens. We're not really trying to defend it, but put up against some of the shitdresses this crowd throws out, it's practically a CFDA winner.

What is with the drag queen aesthetic on this show? We don't mind it so much, but it's a little weird how over the top every look is. Granted, when you don't have talent, the best thing to do is go as wild as you can go.

Which is strange, because Louanna and Jim DO have some talent and have shown some admirable restraint. This looks more like something that would come from Marilyn and Coco.

Those sleeves are interesting, we have to admit. We tend to think that such a dramatic flourish should only be applied to a very minimalist design.

And granted, the dress is sleek and the other embellishments, like this one, are low-key.

But coupled with the shiny, and the ridiculous length and volume, not to mention the frigging eye patch, it just adds up to way too much.

But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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