Christian

Something occurred to us when we got to the end of the outfits for this episode. The designers who did the best in this challenge (Chris, Jillian, Christian) were the ones who dressed the character that their diva was playing while the ones who did the worst (Sweet P, Rami, Ricky) just put them in generic slutwear.

Say what you will about this look (and we will)...

...but you can't deny she is definitely a character. A scary, whip-wielding dominatrix of a character, but at least she's got more going on than just "girl next door" or "I rip open my robe."

Let's get right to it: Lorenzo HATES this look. Tom doesn't exactly love it, but he feels that, for the challenge, it was appropriate and even creative. We both kind of like the jacket, although Lorenzo thinks it goes too far...

...and sure, the shirt's a little skanktastic, but that IS the point and we thought the black lace was a great touch.

One thing we both agree on is that this look was just too much. It's kind of hard to go over-the-top on a challenge like this but Christian managed. There's a razor-thin line between sexy stagewear and hooker fetish gear and unfortunately, this leaps right over it.

It's the chaps, kittens. They sounded like a fabulous idea when he first mentioned them paired with lace, but they're just pointing a big ol' bullseye on her girl area (which is kind of the idea, admittedly) and it's just too...

...we hate to say it.

Vulgar.

There we said it. It's vulgar! You can see too much tootie, ALRIGHT? HAPPY NOW? We're Sloweying all over the place here! Slap some panties on that poor girl!



[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Sweet P: Off on a Tangent

Darlings, it's just ridiculous to think we can keep stringing together coherent sentences regarding outfits made out of spandex cocktail napkins and manage to entertain you in the PRG style.

Bathrobe.

After all, it's not like we actually watch the WWE and even knew who these so-called "Divas" were to begin with, so we're not exactly the most qualified people to be spewing our opinions to all and sundry. Then again, this IS a blog, and what is a blog if not THE go-to spot for unqualified opinions?

Hideous.

It's funny. When we first started this blog 30 years ago, it was simply a place to post funny screenshots of our favorite show - the show that no one else seemed to be watching. But you know us, we're opinionated bitches and before long we were offering up our judgment on some of the outfits.

Tacky as shit.

What started out as nothing more than the occasional "What a piece of crap," or "That looks FABULOUS!" quickly turned into 500-word theses on the strengths and/or weaknesses of each outfit. PLUS, we still had to keep it funny! Poodles, the PRESSURE.

Boring.

Don't get us wrong, darlings. We are as opinionated as we ever were and we certainly love to trash or praise an outfit if it warrants it, but jeeze...y'know? Sometimes these outfits just don't warrant it.

Eye vomit.

Sometimes, the outfits are just so ugly and poorly made and, worst of all, unimaginative, that it's all we can do to throw out some screen caps and string together one or two words about the outfit before we just give up and post a lot of fluff.

Sometimes it's like that.

Sad tits.

And another thing while we're on the subject: Isn't it about time to retire the word "diva" from being used every time some chick puts on a lot of eye makeup and tosses her hair? Jessye Norman is a diva, Aretha Franklin is a diva. Stop cheapening the real divas! Once Mariah Carey started throwing it around like it was a degree she earned at a vo-tech school, we knew it was all over. In fact, this outfit looks like something Mariah Carey would wear to a pediatric cancer fundraiser or something.

We knew if we rambled enough we could pull it all together.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]



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Rami: Think Pink

Darlings, we just may be coming around to loving this challenge.

Because watching Rami getting his balloon popped (figuratively speaking, of course) has proven to be riveting entertainment.

He draped hot pink spandex, all the while moaning about how this isn't his aesthetic or his type of client. We don't know about you, but around here, we call that comedy.

And we call that tragedy.

Good lord, kittens. The "aging stripper" line is an overused one, but is there honestly anything more appropriate to say here? "Hooker Barbie," maybe?

"I Dream of Slutty?"

"Pink is the new whore?"

What? What else can we say here? This was HORRIBLE.

And for the love of GOD, Rami, could you JUST ONCE give a woman a matching set of tits? The boob on the right looks like her implant exploded.

Seriously, it's about as awful as it gets. Clear case of a designer being forced outside his box and having absolutely no idea how to handle it. Rami's not a tacky designer but this is just about the tackiest thing we've ever seen on the show. Ugly color, unflattering design and completely lacking in anything approaching style or fabulosity. With the possible exception of Chris, none of the other designers seemed particularly comfortable with this challenge, but you know what? They stopped moaning about it and just went for it. Rami just couldn't put himself where he needed to be.

And the results were so bad that Nina wound up questioning her life choices.

"Shit. I've destroyed my career, haven't I?"


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Jillian: Strapping her ladybits down

Holy shit, she's freaking out! We're gonna talk about your tacky stripper outfit, Jillian! Just CALM DOWN!

Okay, maybe that's a little unfair, because this:

...was actually kind of awesome.

Before we say anything else though, we have to point out the severe WRONGNESS of those shoes. We're all for the faux-kneesock look (at least with this outfit), but not with those shoes, kitten.

In retrospect, we think we like this one a little more than Chris'. His was creative and fabulous in its own way, but this just had a girly sort of wit to it that we really liked.

And apparently, she did too.

We thought we would hate the color, but because she was making what looked like her take on a cross between boxing trunks and track gear (with a soupcon of slutwear thrown in), the electric blue actually worked.

The little boxing shorts were supercute, but the straps coming up out of her lady area look more than a little painful.

It's a an overall sexy, sporty look, but she could do some serious damage to her bits if she tried to wrestle in that thing.

And uh...that's it. It's really hard to string together more than a hundred words about these tiny little outfits. They're tight, they're shiny, they show a lot of skin. The end.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]



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Congratulations SissyBear!

Ohhh, HONEY...

You are barking up the WRONG tree.

When we found out what this challenge was going to be, we said, "If Chris can't win this, then he shouldn't be there." Outside of just handing them over to drag queens, you couldn't have come up with a challenge more perfectly suited to Chris than this. Just look how "at home" he was in Spandex House. He probably could have walked up and down the aisles with his eyes closed and picked out the fabric he wanted.

This:

Is...

...very hard for us to compliment because it's so far away from the kind of clothing we would normally compliment, but for you darlings, we're going to give it a shot.

Let's get this out of the way first: We're shocked that Michael Kors didn't make the obvious "Shania Twain" joke. As we all know about the Duchess, she's nothing if not obvious.

Now.

Um...

It's...

Oh, the hell with it. Let's jump in.

It's beautifully constructed, it's got some touches to it that give it some interest, like the criss-crossing and the lined hoodie.

We don't actually love the gloves because we think they take it from stagewear to stripper wear...

...and that thing on her thigh comes a bit too close to a garter for our comfort.

But it IS exactly in line with the concept of the challenge and the client clearly loved it. It had style (as far as these things go) and sass and all in all, it was just perfect.

And that's the end.



[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Ricky Ticky Tacky

Take a good look, kittens:

That right there is what we like to call "a low point."

Tim, you're a whore.

We still love you, though.

Yes darlings, THIS is what fashion's all about, isn't it? Tranny hookers in spandex sitting on each other's faces. The fabulosity just oozes through the screen, doesn't it?

Enh. To be fair, the designers did ultimately seem to embrace the fun of it and some of them really did turn out some fierce designs, but poodles, we long for the days when the tackiest thing on the show was Nancy O'Dell. She's the Queen of England in comparison to these bitches.

And certainly, having the Heatherette bitches as judges was entirely appropriate for this challenge, so we guess we have to give them credit for that too.

As for this...

As the Duchess said, as a swimsuit, it's not bad. Not particularly original, but not bad.

And it WAS executed fairly well. The problem is, this isn't supposed to be a swimsuit.

To be honest, we're kind of surprised that he didn't do better in this challenge. We would have assumed that his lingerie background would have given him something of a leg up because of his experience fitting a woman's body and making her look sexy. All he really needed to do was turn the dials up to 11.

Doing a little armchair psychoanalyzing, we think that he was probably in that state that a lot of the designers get in at this point in the competition: physical and emotional exhaustion (although to be fair, he was emotionally exhausted by about day 2). It's at that point that they just pull mediocre stuff out of their trick bag and hope it keeps them in to the end.

There's really nothing all that wrong with this look. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that there were two looks on that runway that were decidedly worse. The problem is, those two looks stayed within the boundaries of the challenge and made over-the-top stagewear. Ricky just kind of went off on his own and made a bathing suit for some reason.

And what the HELL was that ugly thing? To be honest, that little spandex tablecloth probably did more to contribute to his auf'ing than the bathing suit did.

Oh, and it's probably a little ridiculous to complain about the styling in a challenge like this, but what's with the 1986 hair on that girl?

We have to give him credit, though. He didn't cry. Kind of a disappointment. When it seemed clear that he was going to go, we all leaned forward on the couch yelling "This is it! Here come the waterworks!" Unfortunately, his tear ducts were exhausted at that point and they just gave up.

Adios, Ricky! Thank you for providing some much-needed entertainment this season!

Watch his exit video here:




[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project Rungay]


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