Saving the Best For Last

We still stand by our assessment that Kit's was the most stylish and youthful out of the entries - and therefore, the winner - but if the question is "Who made the most beautiful dress?" then hands down, the winner is Chris.

We're not journalists and we don't pretend to be but we do try and look at the entries somewhat objectively. We don't want our like or dislike of certain personalities to color our opinions. But kittens, we can't help it: the fat kid is really getting ignored here.

He's produced some clunkers this season, no doubt about it, but when he hits that ball, it goes sailing over the fence and apparently, right over the judges' clueless heads.

It is absurd that not only was this dress shuffled off the runway without a word, but then to have Heidi say that the judges only liked two dresses - Sweet P's and VictorYA's? That is some sweet, sweet crack they're smoking in the Parson's basement.

We're not without criticisms, though (quelle surprise). Overall, the look is a little mature for a 17-year-old and the color just doesn't say "prom" to us. The shirring in the bust is beautiful, but it does give it a sort of "breastplate" look to it. On a mature woman, the effect would work - think Helen Mirren on the red carpet - but on a young girl it's a bit much.

We love the straps and the way the skirt flowed and moved on the runway.

We don't love the little metal rings holding it together in the front and back.

And while the extra fabric on the front and back are nice details, they again, say "mature woman" rather than "young girl" to us.

We can live with it not being the winner, but for it to be passed by without mention? To be told that it didn't even register as a dress the judges liked? Fuck that noise. This was an absolutely beautiful garment.

Chris, you were robbed this week. But we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that the styling kind of sucked. What's going on with that sloppy hairdo?

Then again...

...you apparently have some interesting ideas about hair.


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Tell her boobs to stop staring at me.

Ha! You'll just have to wait to hear what we think of Chris' dress! FAKEOUT, bitches!

This is kind of a stumble for our little robot, but it still had a lot going for it.

First, she chose some really stunning colors with which to work. In a week where we saw some rather drab, colorless dresses, hers stood out. Golf claps for that.

She also did some really interesting detail work with the various colors. Unfortunately, it didn't quite come off in the execution.

The fit on the bust is way off, giving her a deflated look, and the design on the cups, while interesting, does look a little bit like a pair of droopy, sad eyes looking at the floor.

We suspect the idea was to make her girls look bigger, but unfortunately, the effect achieved was exactly the opposite.

The dress moved absolutely beautifully on the runway. Lorenzo isn't crazy about the fishtail hem but Tom thinks it gives the lower half of the dress a little interest, because let's face it, the silhouette bordered on boring.

But the skirt was probably just a bit too full to be flattering. Interesting detail on the straps, though. We like how the lines continue into the skirt.

We hate that we sound so wishy-washy on this dress. We're all about the strongly held opinions, dammit! Then again, this is the only judgment made this week that we entirely agree with. Good enough to keep going, but not good enough to warrant further comment.

[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Drapes by Rami

There'd be a revolt if we didn't (cue the "Our commenters are revolting!" joke), so here:

It took him hours to drape that towel just so.

Anyone else coming to the conclusion that Rami is seriously limited as a designer? Yes, draping is a beautiful thing when it's done correctly and it's a difficult skill to master, but come on.

While it's true that he hasn't done the extensive draping in every challenge, we get the impression that he loves it so much and he's so proud of how good he is at it that he kept waiting for the right time to pull it out of his trick bag again. Sarah Jessica Parker? Too soon. Tiki Barber? No. Fashion trends? Not yet. Former fatties? Won't work. Hershey's? Can't drape shit. Prom dress? Excellent. Commence draping!

It's not that he hasn't shown some range; it's just that it seems to us any range he may have demonstrated was imposed on him by the challenges. But the minute you give him the opportunity to whip out a pretty dress, the twisting and the draping start anew.

And can we just say, we absolutely HATE twisted fabric? It never works for us. It always looks heavy and unbalanced and a little uncomfortable.

And why is such a young designer so determined to work in such a mature style? Look at her face. Adorable! Now look at her hair. Eleanor Roosevelt! Rami, she's a teenager. Why are you trying to make her look like a matron?

And that's the operative - and really, only - word here: matronly. Taken on its own merits, it's a beautifully constructed dress even if it's not to our tastes. But as a prom dress? In that extremely toned down color? No way.

Actually, we take part of that back. Even on its own merits, this isn't such a hot dress. Too many damn elements to it. It's like he wants to pull every trick out of his bag the first opportunity he gets.

What's funny is, he defended this to the judges by saying that since he had immunity, he decided to take some risks. By churning out a dress remarkably similar to the one the judges orgasmed over in the first challenge? That's a risk? How the hell does he define risk? "The judges might only think I'm the greatest designer on the runway this time instead of the greatest designer ever!"

[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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There's no crying in fashion!

"I told my Mama I would make her proud by making a shitty dress this week!

*snff*"

Oy. This is a tough one to write.

Honestly, what can we say that hasn't already been said?

And what can we say about a dress that has so little going for it? Seriously, there's no there there.

But, being the little soldiers of fabulosity that we are, we're going to plod our way through this one. Onward.

First up: color. Or rather, lack of. When one custom designs a dress, one should seriously take into consideration the skin, hair and eye color of the client when it comes time to pick the fabric. Did he even look at this girl?

Second: silhouette. SERIOUSLY unflattering. That girl's got a great set of gams, so a short dress was a good idea, but the poofy, sleeveless baby doll does NOTHING for her figure.

And that hemline is a MESS. It looks like he made a dress out of an old drawstring bag.

And what is going on with that waist? It looks like he picked up some seashells on the beach and hot-glued them to her dress. We guess it was supposed to add some bling - and we're all for that on this shapeless, colorless thing - but instead it made it look even sadder.

The general consensus online seems to be that he should have gone home this week and we can't really counter that. Certainly if he had gone home, we wouldn't have been upset.

The reason we think Christian's was worse is because - well, because it was worse. Ricky's dress was mostly drab and inoffensive, but Christian's was a big ball o' fug. On the other hand, you could argue that Christian's dress at least had that all-important "point of view" so... oh God, kittens! We're so confused! One thing we can both agree on is that sending Kevin home STILL sucks.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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This season is destroying our marriage.

Oh, kittens.

We're back to arguing again.

Lorenzo loves it and Tom went from merely liking it to hating it more each time he looks at it. Seriously hating it.

Alright, let's start with Lorenzo: he thinks it's a beautiful, sophisticated, albeit basic, prom dress. He thinks the color and choice of fabric is lovely and flattering and he thinks the client loved it and glowed when she walked down the runway.

Here's Tom's retort: Basic. That's exactly right. In fact, it's so basic that it could be picked up in any prom or bridal shop anywhere in the country for about $150.00.

But before we get into the back and forth on that, let's talk about some technical issues on which we both agree. The shirring in the bust and the double straps are nice details, but the fit in the bust is seriously wonky. Those cups are way too high and she looks like she's gonna pop out of the sides the very first time she raises her hands in the air like she just don't care.

And what's the strange pulling over there on the right?

We're also both in agreement that the skirt was too full and from the back, wasn't particularly flattering.

Now. Back to yelling at each other.

Lorenzo says that it looks like a prom dress and it's a pretty and sophisticated design.

Tom says, if the criteria were "pretty" and "looks like a prom dress" then Chris should have been standing there in the number 2 spot instead of Sweet P.

Nonetheless, we're both happy to see her finally complete a look polished enough to get the judges' attention even if there were more deserving dresses on the runway.

Also, if they auf'd her, we're a little afraid she would have used her telekinetic powers to lock them in the studio and blow the whole place up.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project Rungay]


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Well! Let's see how much we can fight over THIS one!

"So, Maddie, who did you choose?"

"Christian! I am going to hug him and squeeze him and call him my BESTEST FRIEND!"

"Kill me."

Oh, kittens. Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Christian got paired with the most opinionated, overconfident, pushy girl in the room - besides himself, that is. DEE-LICIOUS (and probably a setup).

As entertaining as it was watching Miss Shit Don't Stink come up against the one force that could possibly overwhelm him, it got a little scary there when it looked like he was going to go home over it.

Problem is...

...we really DO think he should have gone home over this.

Now, don't you worry, girls. We have plenty to say about Ricky's dress and we'll get to that later. The argument seems to be that HE was the one that deserved to go home and there's a big part of us that agrees with that.

BUT.

Not ONLY was this a big ruched and ruffled and pleated mess...

Not ONLY was the color absolutely wrong for this girl...

Not ONLY was this quite possibly the LEAST flattering silhouette and length you could pick for her body type...

Not ONLY did he stick every kind of ticky-tacky embellishment one could think of all over this mess...

Not ONLY all that...

But THEN, he threw her under the bus the very second it was his turn to defend his work.

Not cool, girl.

Look, there was no doubt that he had the most difficult client in the room, nor was there any doubt that she had DEFINITE ideas about what the dress should be and most of those ideas were awful. The problem is, Christian didn't do what all designers should do in this situation and pull a Nancy Reagan and JUST SAY NO.

Yes, it was HER dress in the sense that she was wearing it and (if this was the real world), she was paying for it. But it's just as much HIS dress in the sense that he's the designer and it's his name and reputation on the line. At some point, he should have turned to her and said "I'm not a dressmaker, I'm a designer and you're just going to have to let me design the best dress for you."

There are plenty of advantages to being a self-proclaimed "young raw talent" but in this instance, the "young" was a real disadvantage. He just didn't have the maturity or the experience to put his foot down and assert himself in the design. We joke about watching him get a little of a comeuppance, but in truth, it was a little heartbreaking. Watching his almost teary-eyed exchange with Tim showed us that he was really lost and had no idea what to do.

That doesn't excuse him trying to pin all the blame on her, though. As we said, she was difficult, but it was his responsibility to rein her in and assert his design skills. There was more than one bad dress on the runway this week, but in Christian's case, it was a truly horrendous, melted ice cream cake of a dress coupled with some terribly unprofessional behavior.

Sorry, Princess. We still love you. And to prove it:

We're not going to make fun of your shiny, shiny vest.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps - Project RunGay]


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