Scarlett Johansson for Dolce & Gabbana Makeup

Every woman applies her lipstick as if she's performing fellatio on it. Everyone knows that.

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2010 Tony Awards - Part 1

Broadway babies to the red carpet, please!

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2010 MTV Movie Awards

Dresses to rip, minions! Grab your coffee and meet us on the red carpet. Bitchery is GO!

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V Magazine: Hot for Scarlett

Put a magazine in front of us and we start spouting opinions.

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In or Out: Scarlett Johansson

Black Widow Eschews Black. Film at Eleven.

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In or Out: Scarlett Johansson

Oh, Miss Scarlet!

Scarlett Johansson attends the "A View From The Bridge" Broadway opening night at the Cort Theatre in New York in Dolce & Gabbana.

Y'know, there are two cliches that all bitchy fashion commentators fall back on and we've been trying to wean ourselves from making them anymore. They're both pop culture references that immediately put a strong image in the reader's mind, and once you've accomplished that, you really don't need to make any further fashion-related comments.

Well, we have to hand it to Scarlett here. She's allowing us to use the same tired old joke, but with a fresh spin on it. You see, it's very easy for a bitchy fashion commentator to fall back on the "Dorothy Zbornak" or "Blanche Devereaux" jokes when they're warranted, but it's a rare opportunity for us to pull out a Rose Nylund reference. Well done, Scarlett. You've just handed the bitchy fashion commentator community a new joke on a platter.

Oh, and congratulations for whatever occasion you're at that required you to put on your best dress. Some sort of lifetime achievement award, perhaps? Or maybe a celebration of your 50 years in show business? Whatever it is, it's nice to see an old gal like you still has a great set of gams.

[Photos: WireImage]


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Scarlett Johansson: The New Face of Mango

Scarlett Johansson was announced as the new face of the Spanish retailer Mango at Santo Mauro Hotel in Madrid, Spain replacing Penelope Cruz.

This one spawned a just-concluded ten-minute discussion, kittens.

Tom was arguing that the outfit, while composed of nice pieces separately, looks like it was decided upon by committee at the last second. She just doesn't look well put-together. It's like a bunch of frantic PR people realized at the last second that they forgot to pick an outfit out for her and ran screaming through the racks of the store, grabbing anything they could find.

The top isn't the best choice for her figure. It's not awful; it's just doesn't seem like the best choice for "showing off our wares," we would think. The shoes don't go with the outfit at all and while the skirt is nice and fits her well, doesn't it look a little... we don't know, sloppy? Lorenzo was all "Where? Where is it sloppy?" and Tom just pointed to that sad little bow. "Doesn't that look a little half-assed to you?" Lorenzo tried to theorize that the skirt may have lost something in traveling and Tom said "She has to walk like ten feet, stand, pose, and walk back. It's not like she got there early and set up chairs."

Look at the shot of the model wearing the same skirt. From the top to the tights to the purse to the shoes, she's styled WAY better than Scarlett is here.

[Photos: WireImage/Mangoshop.com]


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