In or Out: Tilda Swinton

Thou shalt not wear less than a 4-inch heel.

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In or Out: Tilda Swinton

Why, Tilda. How wonderful to see you again.

Tilda Swinton attends the 'Tuan Yuan' (Apart Together) Premiere during day one of the 60th Berlin International Film Festival at the Berlinale Palast in Berlin, Germany wearing a Haider Ackerman gown .

Haider Ackermann Spring 2010 Collection
Model: Iris Strubegger

Tilda, you disappoint. And that is not a sentence we're used to typing. Let us never type such a thing again.

While it's true that she was born to wear column dresses like this, we think the top is just a little too boxy looking. We do love the back, though. The shoes? Enh. They're pretty. But they're kind of (pun somewhat intended) pedestrian, wouldn't you say? Anyone could own a pair of shoes like that. We expect Tilda Swinton to bring it to the red carpet and when we say "it" we don't mean the shoes you wore to your cousin's wedding ten years ago.

We won't say "out," Tilda. We can't bear to do that. We'll just pretend this never happened, mkay?

[Photos: Wiremage/Style.com]


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In or Out: Tilda Swinton

It has been far too long since we've Tilda'd.

Tilda Swinton attends the "Lo Sono L'Amore" premiere at the Sala Grande during the 66th Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy.

And the bitch looks SPECTACULAR.

Jil Sander Fall 2009 Collection

Model: Kasia Struss

We do love when she works her Man Who Fell To Earth schtick by wearing something suitably insane, but she was born to wear these kinds of austere chic looks. The dress looks positively plain from the front but the back is what gives it real interest. And she finished the look off with a kickass pair of pumps with just enough strangeness to make them totally Tilda.

IN.


[Photos: getty Images/WireImgae/Style.com]


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In or Out: Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton attends the "Up" Premiere at the Palais De Festival during the 62nd International Cannes Film Festival in Haider Ackerman.

Haider Ackerman Fall 2009 Collection

Even when she gets it wrong, she does it so much better than anyone else. Let's start with what we like: the silhouette. She's long and lean and broad-shouldered and this outfit does everything to accentuate that. The color. Quite often, she goes for frosty whites or metallics to play off her natural paleness, but it's nice to see her in such a rich tone. This concludes the "what she got right" portion of our program.

Here's what she got wrong: The color. While we love it, we don't love so much of it. We're gonna get mighty pissed off if Michelle Obama starts a trend where every piece of an outfit is the exact same color. We can't stand that. Next, the layering. She looks so good when she goes sleek. She looks like she's wearing at least one piece too many above her waist. It looks a tad sloppy. The hair and makeup. We usually applaud her minimalist approach to both, but it's so minimal here it looks to be nonexistent. Her face needs a little contouring, otherwise it looks pancake flat. And we are SO not loving the Moe Howard-esque 'do on her.

OUT.

[Photo: Getty Images/Style.com]


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Yea or Nay: YSL Caged Heels

In the long run, there's only so much you can do with the modern high heel: stumpy or stilleto, kitten heels or fuck-me heels, metal, wood, leather or lucite, in the end, it's almost always variations on a theme that repeats season in and season out.

But the YSL Spring 2009 collection managed to offer something slightly new and interesting and we can't quite decide whether we like them or not: the "caged" heel.

Tilda Swinton was (of course) the first celeb to wear them on the red carpet.

Let's separate the shoe from the heel in this conversation. The shoes themselves, while kinda fab, look incredibly painful, so ignore them if you can. What do you think of those heels? We admit, we're leaning toward the side that says "love 'em!" but also admit that they're a little gimmicky, like those Chanel gun heels that Madonna and Posh were wearing a while back.


[Photos: Getty Images/Style.com/ELLE.com]

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In or Out: Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton attends the Cesar Film Awards 2009 at the Theatre du Chatelet in Paris, France in Christian Lacroix couture.


Christian Lacroix Spring 2009 Couture
Model: Elsa Sylvan


No one's going to agree with us on this, but IN IN IN!

Seriously, we absolutely love this dress on her, the operative phrase being "on her." Not even the model could pull this look off, but on Tilda Pale and Tall, the dress coupled with virtually no jewelry makes for a really eye-catching look. If you were in the same room as her, you wouldn't be able to take your eyes off her.

Don't get us wrong, there's a lot about the dress we don't like - the sleeves and neckline in particular - and we would consider this an OUT on almost anybody else, but Tilda really pulls it off.

This gives us an opportunity to rant about something regarding Tilda. Question: What do you call a woman who regularly goes out in high-end couture, wearing makeup and jewelry and heels? Answer: You can call her anything you want, but when you call her "androgynous" we tend to disagree. It seems that "androgyny" has now been defined as "not wearing heavy eye makeup" and frankly, that sounds awfully limiting to us. She DOES wear makeup, y'know. It's just that she doesn't wear makeup that adds much color to her face. It's not a look most woman can pull off (and truth be told, it only works for Tilda about half the time) but we bristle a little when a woman who does something only slightly different when it comes to how she presents herself is instantly given a label that implies she's not as womanly as she should be.

Okay, rant over. You can yell at us now.

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[Photos: WireImage/Style.com]