Stella & Suede

Stella, too cool to run:

"I'm not even dealing with rushing around like a fool. I'm embarrassed, like, rushing. I'm not moving."

She is so Tuscadero.

"I don't want to make a leather dress because that's not innovative."

Okay, you lost us on that one, girl. We would have rather you stuck to your strengths on this one, but we can't blame you after Tim gave you the full range of his bitch powers.

"This challenge, like the first challenge, is about innovation. Frankly, for that first challenge, many of you did not rise to the occasion. I won't get any more specific than that.

But it rhymes with "smash smags."

"..."

So Tim publically shamed her into trying to be something she's not, which makes for great reality TV fodder and she gets the "I'm struggling but I'm learning so much" edit. Complete with Ratbones!

Of course her dude's name is Ratbones.

Is there no one out there willing to give this lady her own show? Come ON. She is a fucking STAR.

We really hope Ratbones has a great sense of humor and doesn't break a beer bottle over our heads at the finale party because we were mean to his lady.

We love your lady, Ratbones!

We just don't love this look.

Not that we hate it, either. It had a couple things going for it and a couple going against it.

The skirt is a decent design. We like the proportions on it.

The problem is it just wasn't executed as well as it should have been.

That's just bad. It wasn't the most earth-shattering design in the world, but if it had been done well, the judges probably would have raved about it.

The top isn't bad. We like the color blocking and the closures.

We have a problem with the proportions in relation to the skirt. This would have looked better if it was more fitted.

We also have a problem with the design. It's not a bad looking top, but it doesn't feel like it goes with that skirt.

And it didn't help that the top also had execution issues. The panels in the front don't match up at all. Not a bad try, but too many issues to call it a good one.

"My favorite memory involving a car is when my father gave me my great uncle’s 1966 Buick Electra."

Okay, what the fuck. Why don't we just put Suede's worktable in the cemetery, where he'll be more comfortable?

We felt a little bad making fun of the dead grandfather story last week, but Suede honey, enough is enough. There's nothing wrong with getting on a reality competition and "playing a character." More often than not, most of the rest of them are too, to varying degrees.

But if you're so clearly playing to the cameras, then you're not doing a very good job of portraying your character and we're forced to point and laugh. More than normal.

Suede was so busy blowing kisses to dead relatives that he didn't hear the brief on the challenge and thought he was supposed to make a look for a car crash victim.

It's really the only explanation.

And can we just say that we're getting a little tired of this silhouette from the Suedester? We saw this in the "green" challenge and the Olympics challenge.

Tight little sleeveless bodice with a low waisted, full mini skirt. Done, done and DONE. The added bonus of rubber flooring does not improve upon it.

And the skirt itself: cheap and obvious.

In short, we are not amused. Suede phoned this one in and we're getting a little tired of Story Hour as a replacement for actual designing.

More pics:




[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
[Additional Pictures: Courtesy of Lisa Gilpin/Saturn/Rethink Design]