Auntie Mame is hung!

We're back, darlings!

How was your holiday? Ours was fabulous, but you knew that already. Yes, we know we said we'd post a little over the holidays and we've let you down. Bad T Lo. We probably shouldn't have spent the last week face down in a bowl of rum punch.

But we're tanned, ready, and well-rested now, bitches! Let's start off by announcing the winner of the Jay McCarroll Merry Scarfmas contest. Kittens, this one was tough. Y'all are a bunch of creative, funny bitches and you've made Daddy and Daddy proud with your wit. Unfortunately, there can be only one, so congratulations to ... monosyllabicman!

Like we said, there were a ton of funny, creative entries but this one:

"Clearly it's Donder. You've used the pre-1939 lineup of Santa's Reindeer. See, back before the North Pole Workshop Anti-discrimination act of 1985, glbt elves and reindeer were subject to random termination and harassment based on sexual orientation. Donder fell victim to such discrimination when he was apprehended by the vice squad at a public park. Humiliated by the incident, Santa hired the much-less qualified Donner, hoping no one would notice the subtle name change. Among Santa insiders, Donder became a symbol of that ugly page in history and actively lobbied for glbt workshop protections. Sadly, he didn't live to see his life's work complete, but his memory lives on in gltb elves and reindeer everywhere."

Just tickled our funny bone. We think it's the phrase "glbt elves and reindeer" that really put it over the top. We just can't read that without giggling a little. mono (can we call you mono?), drop us a line so you can claim your prize.

Don't fret, darlings! If you really wanted the scarf, you can always head over to Jay's site and show him a little love by buying one.

Now, we promise we'll get back to regular blogging on Friday. We'll even update the long-neglected Virgins vs. Vixens matchup on the T Lo blog. Honest! Until then, we have another swag giveaway for you lucky bitches.

See this?

It is, of course a copy of Fashion Inside Out: Daniel V's Guide to How Style Happens from Inspiration to Runway and Beyond. There was a lot of "What the hell does HE know?" when this book was first announced, but we have to say it's a gorgeous book with beautiful photographs and interviews with DVF, Nina Garcia, Heidi Klum, and Fern Mallis (way to work those connections, Danny). Also, there's a foreword by St. Tim of the Gunn.

AND! To top it all off, it's signed by Miss Vosovic herself!

Want it? Well put your creative caps on again because this time, we'll give it away to the funniest, most creative or even most heartfelt entry. The theme? My New Year's Fashion Resolution. What do you resolve to do about improving your look this year? For instance, "My New Year's Fashion Resolution is to work more leg warmers, headbands and Daisy Dukes into my day-to-day look. You can't go wrong with the classics!"

Get to it, ladies and Happy New Year! Loveya!

[Photo: danielvosovic.net]

Merry Scarfmas!

Darlings, like many of you, our days of late are filled with last minute hall-decking and gay-apparel-donning, so posting between now and the New Year will be light. We could never leave our minions for too long, so don't worry. There will be posting, just not at our normal rate.

As we bite our nails hoping our last Amazon shipment arrives in time and try to decide what we're serving for Christmas dinner and whether or not we have enough paper and ribbon, we just want to take a mo' to say thank you to all y'all for another fabulous year. By way of thanks, we're gonna have another one of them there contests.

When we get swag, especially designer swag, it's usually for the ladies, so the only question is whether to give it to one of our gal pals or have a contest to give it away. When Jay McCarroll sent us one of his scarves this week:

There was a brief power struggle because for once, we both wanted it. But alas, it's very much a woman's scarf so we're passing the fabulous on to you. The pic doesn't do it justice. It's very long and very colorful with a little bit of sparkle in the middle. By the way, you should check out Jay's site. He has got lots of cool new merch.

To win it, all you have to do is...Oh Jesus, we don't know. Do you know how hard it is to come up with contest ideas? If we make it a creative contest, then we're setting ourselves up as judges, and judging is hard, kittens! If we make it random-based, then we feel like we're cheating somehow. Plus, who has time to write a poem or a jingle about a scarf? Although you should feel free to do so in the comments section. That's always fun.

How about this:

Dasher
Dancer
Prancer
Vixen
Comet
Cupid
Donder
Blitzen

Which one of Santa's Reindeer is Gay?

Just tell us which one and why. While it's tempting with names like those, to assume that they all are, let's just go with the assumption that only one of them is. Tell us which one. Best answer wins the scarf. We're leaving Rudolph out. That one's just too easy.

As we said, posting's light this week, but definitely be back here on New Year's Eve when we announce the winner of this contest and then turn right around and offer you MORE swag in our New Year's Contest.

Happy Holidays, Poodles!


[Photo: www.jaymccarroll.com/JoanJr./Flickr.com]

Emmett McCarthy Equation Bag

Darlings, do you see this lovely bag from Emmett McCarthy's Equation line? Fabulous, no? The Equation line of bags will be sold on QVC next week and, we don't know if you've heard this, but QVC is actually appearing in the tents at Bryant Park. They'll be broadcasting at 10 PM on Monday, 9/8 with a runway show featuring designs by a host of designers. Emmett's bags will be sashaying down that runway and the models will be wearing some gorgeous EMC2 frocks to go along with them. Alas, the dresses are only props. QVC isn't selling them - yet. Emmett was here in Philly this week for meetings with QVC and he brought his entire line of bags with him. Honeys, you never saw such queenery in your life as the three of us modeled the bags and discussed their merits in the PRGay living room.

Now, on Monday we're posting the most comprehensive Emmett McCarthy interview the world has ever seen - from his childhood, to his career, to his time on the show and beyond. That bitch can TALK and we just pointed a microphone at him and let him go. Before we post the interview, we thought we'd do our best girlfriend a proper and promote him a little bit. There are perks to being a PRGayBoy, but if you're a designer, there are also perks to being a FRIEND of the PRGayBoys, know what I'm saying?

Anyway, we have two prototype versions of the pictured bag above, one in blue and one in green brown, both autographed on the inside by Miss McCarthy herself. Want one? Here's what you have to do; answer this question:

Where did Emmett get his inspiration for this bag?

Weird question, we know. Thing is, the answer's pretty weird too. We'll give you two hints: 1) it wasn't another bag, and 2) T Lo are very tangentially related to Emmett's moment of inspiration. Anything more than that and we'll be giving you too much info.

Think long and hard about this one, darlings. The answer is not obvious and to be perfectly frank, we don't expect anyone to hit the nail on the head exactly. Winners will be chosen from the answers that come closest to the truth. The answer will be revealed in Monday's interview, so you have until then. To make it fair, you only get three guesses.

Ready? GO!

[Photo: Courtesy of Equation Emmett McCarthy]

T LOunge

...has opened its doors once again, darlings. As always, the drinks are free and the men are semi-naked.

Before we're all blotto, a few bits o' business:

Believe it or not, we haven't forgotten about the Laura Bennett T-shirt contest. Winner announced soon. Promise.

And speaking of T-shirts, we still have EMC2 Tim Gunn t-shirts to give away, but since the field is narrowing and we don't want to run out of shirts too soon, we are now giving away shirts to the FIRST 3 people who correctly guess the winner/loser combination for tonight. As always, you can make up to 3 choices, but one of them must have the correct winner and loser to win. Get your answers in by 9 PM, EST.

And finally darlings, it has come to our attention that some of you are missing out on all our bonus features. Remember, "Page Two" is on the upper right and "Don't Miss" is on the upper left.

And since we're Mad Men obsessed, we'll take a Dubonnet with a twist.


[Photo: Courtesy of eyecandy sound lounge & bar]

T LOunge

...is once again open for business. Pick your drinking partners and secure yourselves a seat, darlings.

Once you're settled in, we have a couple pieces of business to get to before you're face-first in the complimentary peanuts again.

First, we FINALLY completed our tribute post to your pick for the Ultimate Dame/Diva. Enjoy.

Second, CONGRATULATIONS to LENORA and AUNTIE L. for correctly picking the winner and the loser last week. Email us to get your EMC2 tees signed by Tim Gunn, ladies.

And speaking of which, we have plenty more of them, including grey ones for those of you who aren't secure in your masculinity.

So, we're gonna keep on having the contest until they're all given away. Correctly pick the winner and the loser of tonight's show. You have to get your answers in before 9 PM EST. You can enter 3 times, but in order to win, you MUST have picked the winner and the loser in the same entry. And leave your email address so we know it's you. Ta!


[Photos: emmettmccarthy.com - guestofaguest.com]

T LOunge...

...is now open. Hang up your wrap, check your lipstick, and grab a seat so you can flag down one of the waiters, all of whom are international male supermodels on the side.

But before you get too drunk and we have to pump your stomach again, darling, pay attention to this: PRGay Emmett McCarthy is buying the first round and he's throwing in a Tim Gunn t-shirt from EMC2 to the first 15 people who guess tonight's winner and loser correctly.

And it's pink! Perfect for T LOunge.

Did we forget to mention that it's signed by Sir Tim himself? Well it is.

No answers after 9 PM EST and try and limit your answers to... oh let's say 3. And say hello to Miss McCarthy. We're forcing him to stop by later. Maybe we can get him to put his bitchpants on and rag on the dresses tonight.


[Photos: emmettmccarthy.com - theghotel.ie]

It's Time for Another Contest, Poodles!

And this time, we're keeping it simple and letting someone else pick the winner!

See this?

It's part of Laura Bennett's line of Case Clothed merchandise and do we really have to point out that it's a Robert Best illustration? Laura sent us this a while back and it had the caption "If the shoe fits, BUY IT." Well, opinionated bitches that we are, we told her it was kind of lame since that joke is on about a million refrigerator magnets. Laura was all "Fine. Have a contest then." So we are!

Come up with the winning caption and win a signed "Dress up every day" t-shirt from the same line. LB herself will be picking the winner.

Don't forget to give us your email address!


[Illustrations: Robert Best]

Haiku, Bitches!

Darlings, it's time to announce the winners of our first ever Project Runway Haiku contest! We're sorry it took so long, but you fecund bitches put in over 200 entries and that's a LOT of syllables to count.

So let's get to it, poodles:


4th prize and the winner of a Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack is our very own TheNYCourier, who got right to the point with his ode to Lupe:

Lupe Lupe Lu
Lupe Lupe Lupe Lu
Opus of her Work.

That about sums her up, wouldn't you say?

3rd prize and the winner of a Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack is ANONYMOUS (otherwise known as ptrap555 at yahoo . com) with his? her? charming Duchess-based entry:

It's very soignee
Very mother of the bride
That crotch is insane!

Come on, you can hear his voice when you read that, yes?

2nd prize and the winner of a Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an autographed Tim Gunn bobblehead is...ALSO ANONYMOUS (otherwise known as jmaxel at comcast . net) Who charmed us with his/her evocative ode to Miss Scarlett:

Austin floats on clouds
Chiffon and silk and floral
Lip gloss and hairspray.

Does that not nail our delicate little cornhusk flower?

1st prize and the winner of a swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an EMC2 Lauren dress is none other than our very own SEWING SIREN! who wowed the judges with her blunt honesty (otherwise known as bitchery):

I don't write haiku
For a free bag of shampoo
But for a dress? Yes.

Brill! How can we not give the prize to someone who basically wrote "GIVE ME THE PRIZE." We applaud your fierce ambition, Sewing Siren.

Congratulations to all our winners and don't forget to email us with your mailing address, darlings.

As for those we affectionately call "The Losers," believe it or not, we have another contest lined up for the coming week, so sharpen those pencils!

[Photo: Courtesy of www.lostmtnclay.com]

Hey, didn't we say something about a contest?

Oh, about SEVEN weeks ago?

Yes, yes. We're assholes. It's not that we forgot or anything. It's just that work's been kicking our asses and what with this whole Lifetime thing and our need to criticize Sarah Jessica Parker, we had SO MANY other things to blog about. But no more, poodles! We have a WINNER for our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA!

As you may recall, we have in our possession FIVE swag bags from the TRESemmé finale party. The winner of the CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA has won one of them and now we're going to use the other four in the contest that the winner of our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA came up with! Simple, no?

First, the winner of our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA.

Congratulations...

VUBOQ!

Contact us to get your prize, you vicious, unrepentant bitter old queen!

You see kittens, most of your submissions were fabulous ideas, but many of them were either too difficult for the average reader to do or too much work for us, your fabulous judges. Vuboq's idea was simple, elegant, and funny. What was that idea?

PROJECT RUNWAY HAIKU

Simply compose a haiku (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables) having to do with any aspect of the show. Not only will the most creative, fabulous and intelligent win a prize, but the FOUR most creative, fabulous and intelligent ones will win prizes.

What are those prizes, we hear you asking? Simply these:

4th prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack

3rd prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack

2nd prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an autographed Tim Gunn bobblehead

1st prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an EMC2 Lauren dress!

Yes, that old whore Emmett McCarthy not only donated a couple swag bags to our loot pile, but he's sweetened the pot by throwing in one of his rags:

The Lauren Dress

A simple V-neck style silk dress with sheer chiffon poof sleeves and beautiful pintucking detailing make this the perfect special occasion dress. Hits above the knee. $310.00


And speakng of that old whore...

He's having a party tomorrow night! But you have to RSVP today if you want to go, so get cracking.

Also, any posted entries to the haiku contest should include their email address. You may post as many entries as you want. Contest ends Monday. Offer void where prohibited. May cause oily discharge.

[Photos: www.emmettmccarthy.com and Project RunGay]

New Contest, Kittens!

Darlings! Remember when we said we were going to have a contest to give away our TRESemmé finale party swag bags? Well, we haven't forgotten either. It's just that, while we are fabulous and witty and celebrated the world over, we just aren't very good at coming up with ideas for contests. So, because we were big whores at the party and took several bags and because that other big whore Emmett McCarthy kindly donated HIS swag bag, we have a total of FIVE of these babies to give away.

No diamond-encrusted cell phones, sad to say.

Anyway, we can't come up with a contest idea, so we thought we'd have a Contest to Come Up With a Contest Idea Contest! Brilliant, no?

Post your suggestions here as to what the contest should be to win a TRESemmé swag bag, and the winning idea will win the first of the 5 bags we have in our hot little hands. THEN, we'll launch the winning contest idea to give away the other 4 bags. The GRAND PRIZE of THAT contest will also get a little extra sumpin'-sumpin' in their bag that we promise will be FABULOUS.

Come on you creative bitches! Wow us! And DON'T BORE NINA!

[Photo: Project RunGay]

Happy New Year, Darlings!

We hope your 2008 is fabulous and fashionable! We know ours will be!

Were you waiting to hear who won our last two contests? Well here they are:

The winners of the MALAN BRETON BAG contest are...

Grace and cloveapple! Ladies, you both took the lead with 4 correct guesses out of six. Congrats! Now, there were two Graces in the contest. The one we're looking for is the one who had this blogger profile.

The winner of the EMMETT McCARTHY NATALIE COAT CONTEST is...

uncle vanya! UV tickled Miss McCarthy's fancy with the following caption:

T: "Emmett, you look quite the diva! The hat makes it look verdi bizet, aida gone with a ring and puccini pups. Well, we're traviatin' now. Aria carmen?" *titter*

(Long pause)

E: "Kiss my cozy fun tootie, Tim."

Congrats, uncle vanya! Our winners need to drop us a line toute de suite and let us know their names and mailing addresses so we can get that swag out to you.

To all our readers, once again we thank you for your support this past year. All the best, poodles!

Ringing in the New Year, Gay Style

This is the Natalie coat from Emmett McCarthy's Holiday collection. Gorgeous, yes? You should see it in person. Heidi owns one of these. It retails for $875. Would you like one?

Well, here's your shot! Darlings, OF COURSE we're going to ring out the old year and ring in the new one with a CONTEST! It's because we LOVE you all so very, that we're teaming with Miss Emmett McCarthy herself for our

NEW YEAR'S TOOTIE CAPTION CONTEST!

Readers, take a moment and gaze at these two pictures:




Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with an exchange of dialogue between Tim and Emmett here. The funniest one wins an EMC2 Natalie coat, in a size of their choosing from 2 -10. There's just one catch.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE WORD "TOOTIE" IN YOUR CAPTION.

Not so easy now, is it bitches? Well, get to it if you want that coat. Miss McCarthy herself will be putting her bitchpants on and joining us in choosing the winner. You have until 6 pm, EST on DECEMBER 30th to post your entries here. On New Year's Eve, somewhere in the midst of being fabulous, we will take a moment and post the winners as we raise our Champagne flutes in salute. Oh, and we haven't forgotten the Malan Bag contest. We'll post the winners of that on New Year's Eve as well. Darlings, who loves you and gets you fabulous swag?


[Photo: EMc2 - Screencaps: Project RunGay]

Laura Bennett Superhero Contest: The Winner(s)

DAMN! You bitches have a lot to say! Over 270 comments and over 500 suggestions later, Laura finally decided on a winner. The things is, there were SO MANY fantastic suggestions that Laura and the iVillage people couldn't decide on just one. So they picked one primary winner, who will received the aforementioned signed PR Complete Third Season DVD, but also picked a bunch of runners-up, who will be receiving a fabulous autographed picture of Laura.
In fact, they apparently loved the suggestions so much that we did hear they're going to try to use most of them at least once.

So, without further ado:

THE WINNER:
Fashion Vixen
by Wannabe

Wannabe, send us your address and we'll make sure you get that signed DVD as soon as it is available!

THE RUNNERS UP:

Path: Cashmere Cape
Turbulence: The Scarlet Stiletto
Cleamontis: The Scarlet Needle
BG: Deep Vee
Jay: Glitterata
Weiz: Glam Girl
Lydia: The Plunging V-Neck
Kelly: The Scarlett V

Ladies, send us your address and Laura will send you an autographed picture of herself.

NOW. You thought we were done, didn't you? Well, now Laura and the ivillage folks are interested in hearing your suggestions for what to name the actual comic strip. Y'know, like "THE ADVENTURES OF FASHION VIXEN" - although that's really boring. Come up with something fabulous and you could win an autographed copy of the Project Runway Season 3 DVD! We'll announce the winner at the end of the week.

Get cracking, ladies! And congrats to the winners!

EDITED TO ADD: "Fashion Vixen" is the winning name as chosen by Laura, but the actual character's name isn't necessarily going to be "Fashion Vixen," so you don't have to use that in your suggestions.

EDITED AGAIN: Laura left a note in the comments section:

"Here are some hints, iVillage wants to use my actual name in the title, like Laura Bennett: Adventures of a Stylish Mom. They also seem to be leaning toward an old school comic strip, like Brenda Starr or a 1940's Private Eye, sort of a super hero in hiding. The title should try to reflect what I will be doing which is fighting frump and solving fashion dilemmas. Try to be concise.

I am overwhelmed by the generosity and the creativity of the posters here. Your ideas have actually caused us to change direction so that we can use many of the great suggestions. If we name the strip after what I do instead of who I am, that will give us the opportunity to end each strip with something like, "another caper solved by the Cashmere Cape..."

Thanks so much for all your help. And let's all give it up for T&L!"

If Laura Bennett were a superhero...

...what would she call herself?

Here's the deal: Laura's going to be starring in her very own comic strip on iVillage. The premise of the strip is that Laura will be a superhero that solves women's fashion dilemmas. Thing is, she hasn't come up with a name for herself yet. That's where you all come in.

Come up with a superhero name for Laura Bennett and if she picks yours as the best, she'll send you an autographed copy of the Project Runway Season 3 DVD! We can't guarantee that the winning entry will actually be used by iVillage, but at least you'll have the comfort of knowing that Laura liked yours best.

Post your answers in the comment section and leave some sort of name (doesn't have to be your full name) so we won't be stuck saying "CONGRATULATIONS, ANONYMOUS AT 10:57 AM!!!" We'll announce the winner on Monday or Tuesday. Get cracking, ladies! Post as many suggestions as you want!