Project Runway's Most Dramatic Moments, S1, Part 1

Let's get our crazy on, bitches!

We're at 17 days and counting until the LONG OVERDUE premiere of Project Runway Season 6 and we thought it would be fun to take a look back at the most dramatic moments in the show's history. Sure, we all SAY we watch the show because we love fashion and creativity and enjoy watching talented people do amazing things - and that's true (partially) - but no matter how much we all may complain when the drama gets out of hand, we can't deny that the dramatic moments are what make the show so DELICIOUS to watch. Besides, we'd argue that if you want to watch creative and talented people pull out work under ridiculous circumstances, the drama is to be expected.

We struggled to figure out a way to do this in countdown format but we simply couldn't come up with an order that either of us agreed with. Instead, we're going to break it down by season. We leave it up to you guys to determine what order they should be in, but we guarantee, you'll find it an almost impossible task.

So, without further ado...

1) MUSTACHE-GATE

"The Wendy Pepper that showed up the first day of Project Runway is not the Wendy Pepper we know now."

Oh, honey. Truer words were never spoken.

She's long been considered Project Runway's first "villain," and while we agree that it's a sobriquet Wendy Pepper more than earned, it wasn't quite so simple as that.

The truth of the matter was that Wendy was in fact the show's first walking tragedy. She THOUGHT she was getting by through her scheming and her plotting, but in the end, the people she "plotted" against would have gone home with or without her added schemes. In reality, she was a fascinating person to watch because she was so completely un-self-aware and instead of revealing what a Machiavellian schemer she was, she instead showed the world how low her self esteem was and how out of her element she felt. She didn't make it to the finals because of talent or because of scheming. She made it there because the competition was structured in such a way that consistently doing just well enough to not be auf'd had the same outcome as doing the best work week after week. A flaw in the show that we suspect was "corrected" in subsequent seasons.

All of this came to a head when someone who'd had enough of her crap took a pen and drew a mustache on a picture of her daughter. Now, in real life, with people who aren't completely drowning in stress and low self esteem, such an act might make them angry, but they wouldn't have a complete meltdown over it.

Not so with our Wendy. She completely LOST IT. You would have thought that someone had assaulted her daughter instead of the silly, childish prank it was.

In all likelihood, her sobbing response to the situation was simply another in a long line of ploys to cover for the fact that she thought that EVERYONE ELSE was more talented than her and that she had no right to be there.

Was it wrong for Kevin someone to draw that mustache on a picture of someone's daughter? Absolutely. But people were under tremendous stress at the time and Wendy had just gotten away with throwing Kevin under the bus deliberately in order to get him auf'd.

Under different circumstances, her co-designers would have probably been a little more sympathetic, but she'd burned all her bridges behind her and at that point, no one really cared anymore.

Of course, part of what made it fun ...




... was the bald-faced lying. Like we said, DELICIOUS.

Also, it was hysterical that the whole drama played out with everyone dressed in ugly postal uniforms.

2) SHOE-GATE

Ah...yes. Shoe-gate. Part of what made S1 so great was that the personal dramas all played out like one season-long plotline. Like Melrose Place with sewing machines. There probably wouldn't have been a shoe-gate if there already hadn't been a mustache-gate.

The short version: Kara Saun contracted with Dollhouse shoes to give her custom-made shoes to be worn in her runway show and then when she was called on it by Tim (on behalf of the producers), tried to claim that the shoes were worth 15 dollars a piece in order to ensure that she stayed under her $8000 budget.

A claim that was clearly bullshit after one glance at the shoes.

The reason this made for such delicious drama was because Kara Saun had always been the golden girl of the season. She'd won more challenges than any other designer and the judges clearly adored her. Wendy, dripping with low self esteem and feeling like the dirty girl in the school cafeteria, was LOVING the controversy.

This all played out in the pre-finale show workroom, with two people who HATED each other (Kara Saun and Wendy) and one person who was trying desperately to stay above the whole thing (Jay).

"Finally! Something happens to Miss Fucking Perfect. Love it!"

Although he wasn't coming off as above-it-all as he would have liked. Yes, we know that sound bite was him quoting Wendy but he clearly had a problem with the situation.

Up till that point, Kara Saun really HAD been Miss Perfect. Not only had she won the most challenges, but she'd done almost everything she could to get along with other people and stay above the fray.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason (we suspect she felt she was untouchable at this point), she tried to pull a fast one on the producers, which left her open to criticism from the very LAST person she wanted to hear:

"No, don't talk to me."

"Well, I will talk to you because I'm going to tell you that Jay and I shopping at the store for five-dollar shoes is hardly comparable to you custom-designing shoes and putting an arbitrary value of five dollars on something that looks like your shoes."

"I just heard you on the phone equate a shoe at a sample sale for five dollars to a shoe you custom-designed and had made to your specifications..."

"...and that, my dear, is not fair or above board, Miss Perfect."

All of which put we, the viewers, in the bizarre position of cheering on the person we hated while she tore into the person we previously had been cheering on. The fact of the matter was that Wendy was RIGHT.

In the end, the producers came up with a solution that was so bull-shitty that we're still rolling our eyes 5 years later: the models would walk the runway in the custom-made shoes but the judges were supposed to ignore them in assessing the collection, which is all but impossible when the shoes are perfectly coordinated to the outfits, not to mention when they're knee-high white leather boots with fur trim.

[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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There's no "I" in "team" but there is one in "bitch."

This was the one where Wendy showed her true colors. After this, there was no one left to defend her or think the best of her. Poor Kevin. Yeah, he was a lousy team leader but he clearly didn't want the position.

"Ha. Kevin. Sucks to be you, dude."

Although we'll give the other designers (sans Wendy) credit for at least trying to put their game faces on.

"Bitches...GO!"

But man, that bitch had it in for him the minute he was named team leader. She knew going into it that he wasn't going to be good at it (as witnessed by his last go-round as a TL), but unlike Jay, who tried to just plow his way through a bad situation or Kara Saun, who tried to take over in a bad situation, Wendy's first and only thought was "How can I make this bad situation work to my advantage?"

"Wendy, we're such great friends!"

"Haha. Yes, that's right. Wendy will never hurt you, Kevin. Do you hear me? Wendy. Will. Never. Hurt. You."

Just look at her. "You will be mine, Kevin Johnn. Oh yes, you will be mine."

Bitch, you're not plotting for shares in Denver Carrington, you're making a dress. Get to work and stop acting like you're starring in your own personal soap opera.

"Kevin sucks."

"Would you be willing to say that to the judges?"

"Listen, I want to win. I'll tell the judges he's been shooting up in the sewing room if I have to."

"Good. Carry on!"

What's so exasperating about the whole thing is that Wendy's observations about the team were for the most part, dead-on. She's not a bitch for pointing out problems; she's a bitch for not doing so until she was in front of a judge. If she had just voiced some of her concerns early in the process - and she was well aware of what was going wrong early in the process - she could have made the attempt to offer suggestions or corrections. She could have come out of this looking really good. Wendy's problem is, she approaches the competition not with the thought of "How do I make myself look good here?" but with the thought of "How do I make someone else look really bad here?" Classic low self esteem.

Dunh-dunh-DUNH!!!!!!!

Oh please. Wendy's good at the soap-operatic threats. Hell, it's the only way she knows how to think. When Kevin makes them they're about as threatening as a toothless poodle.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Seeya, Kevin!

We don't get this one at all. In another collection, this look might have worked, except there's so many problems with it that we're stuck scratching our heads and trying to figure it out. The biggest mystery of course, is what the hell he was thinking producing such a tailored piece when the designers had all agreed to less constructed pieces.

We kinda like the overall design and some of the elements - the colors, the quilted bodice, the somewhat extreme tailoring - but it just doesn't seem to come together somehow. It seems pretty clear that Kevin simply couldn't handle being both a team leader and a designer at the same time.

There just seems to be all this weird and unnecessary frippery, like the goofy stuff he did with the sleeves...

...And that mega-goofy collar thing which just sticks out at a weird angle. We can't tell if that was a deliberate design element or just a construction issue. And what's with that extra flap of quilting on the top? And that skirt is fitted terribly.

All in all, Kevin's something of a mystery to us. We can see that he has talent but it was always hard to find things we liked about his work. Sometimes designers get aufed because they just don't have what it takes to be a designer and sometimes they get aufed because they just don't have what it takes to survive in a reality television competition. We suspect Kevin is an instance of the latter.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Princess Morgan in the Land of Make Believe

We don't get it.

Seriously, we don't get how this is considered a bathing suit. It looks like your standard slut uniform: Skin tight, low cut top with a uterus skirt. Who wears something like this to go swimming?

Ah. Of course. Clearly, he was designing with the crazy in mind. How much you wanna bet she deliberately let one rip in his face?

Whenever they give Morgan the smokey eye, it only accentuates the sheer craziness underneath. She just looks a little too Baby Jane here, y'know? And poor Kevin has been cast in the Joan Crawford role. He looks like he's fearing for his life.

Actually, he's fearing for his garment. Kevin, stop being such a doormat. Everyone there knew it was a bad idea to let her go out wearing that thing. Even you knew it. So why did you let her go?

"mwah. I promise I'll be good, mommy and won't sit on any boys' laps. Can I have your credit card? And some rubbers?"

Now it's like an updated version of Carrie, with the crazy mom and the homicidal daughter.

"THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU...laugh at you...laugh at you...laugh at you..."

And while she didn't get drenched in pig's blood (dammit), she did wind up doing exactly what everyone thought she would: trashing the garment. Quel surprise.

"Ooops. HAHAHA."

It would be bad for two grown men to post their fantasies about hitting her and never stopping, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?

And then she had the nerve to be all attitudinal about it. Is she not aware of the cameras capturing her every move and utterance? Or do the cameramen just blend in with the talking unicorns and dancing fire hydrants and whatever else parades in front of her eyes?

See, we think Morgan isn't necessarily the walking personality disorder she appears to be. We think Morgan can't tell the difference between real people and whatever she's hallucinating at the moment, so she just goes with the assumption that everything's just a figment of her imagination and she only has to pay attention when she feels like it.

It makes sense, doesn't it? In order for her to understand that she was appearing on a reality show, someone would have had to sit her down and explain just what "reality" is. And honeys, we can't blame anyone for not succeeding in that endeavor.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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