The End of an Era

And so, the reign of Empress Morgan the First came to a quiet and appropriately bizarre end.

That is pure concentrated evil coming out of those eyeballs. What some people don't realize is that after she left the show, Morgan moved to the Swiss Alps and built a house out of gingerbread where she spends her time luring unsuspecting children to their death.

We're kidding, of course. It's a gumdrop house.

"I obviously have a very special relationship with you, dear. And you and I are gonna go above and beyond.

[Pause]

I choose Melissa."

Heidi: "That speech makes no sense."

Morgan: "I'm peeing on the runway, assholes. How do you like THAT?"

"MWkillyouallinyoursleepWAHH!"

One last moment on the Drama Couch.

And so, the show becomes a little less interesting. Sure, we ragged on her, but in the long run, she made great television. And we're not just saying that because we're scared of her.

Okay, well a little.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Princess Morgan in the Land of Make Believe

We don't get it.

Seriously, we don't get how this is considered a bathing suit. It looks like your standard slut uniform: Skin tight, low cut top with a uterus skirt. Who wears something like this to go swimming?

Ah. Of course. Clearly, he was designing with the crazy in mind. How much you wanna bet she deliberately let one rip in his face?

Whenever they give Morgan the smokey eye, it only accentuates the sheer craziness underneath. She just looks a little too Baby Jane here, y'know? And poor Kevin has been cast in the Joan Crawford role. He looks like he's fearing for his life.

Actually, he's fearing for his garment. Kevin, stop being such a doormat. Everyone there knew it was a bad idea to let her go out wearing that thing. Even you knew it. So why did you let her go?

"mwah. I promise I'll be good, mommy and won't sit on any boys' laps. Can I have your credit card? And some rubbers?"

Now it's like an updated version of Carrie, with the crazy mom and the homicidal daughter.

"THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU...laugh at you...laugh at you...laugh at you..."

And while she didn't get drenched in pig's blood (dammit), she did wind up doing exactly what everyone thought she would: trashing the garment. Quel surprise.

"Ooops. HAHAHA."

It would be bad for two grown men to post their fantasies about hitting her and never stopping, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?

And then she had the nerve to be all attitudinal about it. Is she not aware of the cameras capturing her every move and utterance? Or do the cameramen just blend in with the talking unicorns and dancing fire hydrants and whatever else parades in front of her eyes?

See, we think Morgan isn't necessarily the walking personality disorder she appears to be. We think Morgan can't tell the difference between real people and whatever she's hallucinating at the moment, so she just goes with the assumption that everything's just a figment of her imagination and she only has to pay attention when she feels like it.

It makes sense, doesn't it? In order for her to understand that she was appearing on a reality show, someone would have had to sit her down and explain just what "reality" is. And honeys, we can't blame anyone for not succeeding in that endeavor.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Bridal Wave

And Tropical Storm Morgan keeps rolling along, destroying everything in her wake.

Poor Jay. It's to his credit that he didn't have a complete design meltdown. Despite having quite possibly the worst client ever, he still maintained both his composure

(relatively speaking) and his aesthetic. In hindsight, this was interesting to watch because you can see it as a major step in Jay's development as a designer during the competition. He picked Morgan because she was "fun," but such considerations just aren't fitting in with his evolving and more competitive point of view anymore.

Besides, was she ever really "fun?" There's no denying that her brand of crazy makes for great television, but we can't imagine her being all that entertaining on a face-to face basis.

The infantile clapping. It makes us want to stab forks in our eyes.

"This is gonna be the greatest co... wait, what is it? [full minute of uncomfortable processing time] Challenge! This is gonna be the greatest challenge ever!" *claps like a retarded clown*

Oooookay.

"...because they LAUGH AT ME. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW BITCHES?"

Lorenzo really loves it; Tom not as much. It's striking and the bottom is kind of interesting. It has an elegant simplicity to it and it still looks "Jay."

Still, there was just something really off-putting about this dress. Maybe we're projecting too much of Morgan's personality on to it, but it has a restrictive, twisted, straightjacket quality to it that's...agitating.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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MORGANZA!!!!!!!

We told you she was crazy, didn't we? They should've just stapled a wig to her head.

What she needs? She needs to up her dosage, that's what she needs.

We like the "Go down and get her." Like she's an unruly dog or something.

This will now officially be known as the Drama Sofa. It turns designers into weeping Mexican soap opera heroines and it makes models go all fetal.

Doesn't he look like a housewife in a commercial discussing just why Downy Dryer Sheets are better for her family?

We can't imagine why the show didn't lead to more work for her. She's got "supermodel" written all over her, right?

"It's gonna be gorgeous! Don't worry about it! You're fabulous!"

"Jesus. And they call me a drama queen."

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Ciao, Vanessa!

"Oh fuck, did I just say that out loud?"

We didn't think she was the one who needed to go, but unfortunately, she didn't seem to be taking the competition as seriously as she could have and that became fairly obvious to the judges when she ran her mouth off on the runway. As team members go, she was among the worst, not for her lack of sewing skills but for her constant second-guessing of the team leader and her overt and too-often-stated dislike for the design.

Oddly enough, it was Wendy of all people who made the best team member, with her "Show me what to do and I'll do it." attitude.

As for the dress itself...

Oh, he just likes to pretend he has boobies.

Honestly? It wasn't the most original idea in the world but it was far more interesting than what Kevin's team produced and it was for the most part well-executed.

The "little girl lost" styling was perhaps a skosh too literal and if they had gone with styling that worked against the dress instead of working with it, it would have created a tension that could have made the whole look more interesting. As lame as Melissa's fauxhawk was, it probably would have worked better with this dress.

Still, it's definitely a look and an appropriately over-the-top one at that.

And as for Austin's leadership skills...

If they judged based on the ability to evoke the heroine of a 19th century novel, he'd have won this one cold. Just out of frame, turbaned Nubian manservants are fanning him with ostrich feathers to alleviate his grief.

Or maybe that's just in his head.

"...in fields of silk and taffetta. The sun will always shine over you and you will spend eternity making pretty dresses together. Now dry your eyes, little fashionista. It's what she would have wanted."



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

And the retro train keeps rolling along. Funny how each designer seemed to pick a decade. Alexandra: 1930s, Austin: 1950s, Wendy: 1960s and now Vanessa: 1940s.

We'll give her credit for at least updating a 1940s look instead of simply redoing it outright. We don't really like this dress, though. First off, it doesn't look particularly well-executed and secondly that neckline is a bit much. Nothing wrong with a plunging neckline but it's not something you'd see at Banana Republic and besides, all you need is a slight breeze to get her arrested on an indecent exposure charge.

That hemline does look a little interesting, but unfortunately we can't get a good enough look at it to judge either way.

Oy. Did she skin a muppet to get that thing?

This is a walking disaster. It's to his credit that he knew it. There's nothing more painful than an oblivious designer beaming proudly as their latest hot mess comes strolling down the runway.

We almost feel like there's no point in critiquing this since the episode made it clear that this wasn't so much a design as it was whatever was left over on the dress form after he spent too long experimenting. Although this dress was damned right from the starting point just because of his fabric choices. Faux leopard and ice blue charmeuse? Yikes.

We were never really on the Robert-is-a-hottie bandwagon, but y'know? Stress looks good on him. When he's not mugging for the cameras or acting like a doofus, he's downright do-able.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

Ew.

We guess it's supposed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek but frankly, it's bordering on the vulgar and again, we're surprised the judges seemed to gloss right over it.

This is just a great big what the fuck. For some reason, the designers this season seem determined to do everything they can to make pretty girls look like scary clowns.

We just don't get it at all. Where's the "envy" part?

Hate it. Hate the rick-racky trim. It makes the whole thing look way too home-sewn. Once again, we have to ask: where's the envy part of this, Alexandra?

She's got it, yeah baby she's got it
I'm your Venus
I'm your fire
Your desire

It's just so bleh. So...undesigned. It's not ugly and it seems to be well-executed but when you're relying on the whickety whack to make your outfit, there's definitely something lacking in your design.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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