Project Runway's Most Dramatic Moments, S1, Part 2

We're not done with Season 1 yet, bitches!

3)Reunion-Gate

Oh Season One. How we miss the rawness of it all. What we wouldn't give to go back to those halcyon days when the designers had no idea what they were in for. The backstabbing, the fighting...

...the drinking on camera.

Just stop for a moment and remind yourself that they held the reunion IN A BAR. How awesome is that?

Let's put the inevitable Wendy beatdown aside for a moment and recall the ironic-in-retrospect Vanessa beatdown. See, before the reunion, Vanessa gave an interview for the Popgurls site. You can find it here. Go ahead and take a look.

What's so fascinating about it is, 4 seasons later, we can't imagine ANY of the designers getting so bent out of shape over such a relatively harmless interview. Did she smack-talk? Sure, but when we think of the kind of smack-talking that we saw in later seasons and in later interviews, we can't help thinking the people SERIOUSLY over-reacted to what Vanessa had said.

Look at Wendy's face there. Hysterical.

The thing is, knowing what we know about the show now, a lot of what Vanessa said was dead on. Even more dead on was her retort to Jay and Kara Saun's judgmental tirades that the only reason they were so defensive about it was because they made it into the finals.

In fact, it's particularly ironic watching Jay's hurt and offended response on behalf of the show when you consider all the bad things HE'S said about the experience in the years since.

In the end, Vanessa did what anyone would have done in the same situation (if they were drunk and had already spilled their wine all over the floor).

"I don't want to be here. This is bullshit."

She walked out, to Heidi's eternal delight. Vanessa, you're one of the few contestants on the show we've never met but we're here to say, you were (mostly) right and you didn't deserve the dogpile you got for it.

Of course, we have to move along to the Wendy dogpile now.

"I think people misunderstand my objective by coming on the show. I didn't come on the show to interact with fellow designers, I came on the show to win. I don't regret my approach. I just assumed that we were all doing the best we could in this difficult environment to get to the end."

"It's not about getting to the end, it's about how you get to the end."

You know, that's all well and good, and we're not really defending Wendy because she was pretty much a shithead through the whole contest, but for Christ's sake people, it's a REALITY TV COMPETITION. It really is astonishing to watch just how naive everyone was about the whole thing back in those days.

And in that vein...

4) HOTEL ROOM-GATE

Now, THIS, kittens, THIS was PRIMO DRAMA. The naivete of the Season 1 contestants allowed for some fantastic moments like this, where they simply let out every single thing they were thinking on-camera and with both barrels.

"It is a little bizarre that you live in a room with me and you don't speak to me."

"I'm not bizarre, how's that bizarre? If I think you're a backstabbing liar then I'm not going to talk to you, so to me it's not being fake, it's being real."

"Maybe if I coerce them to fight with each other physically, I automatically win."

Hey, what do you know, Jay? It worked!

"Wendy, everybody hates you. It's a fact."

So much for staying out of it.

"I've met people like you my whole life, who pretend to be your friend, who stab you in the back, who will do anything, I live in freaking Hollywood, do you understand that? You're going to need your soul one day, Wendy, and you don't have it."

"Don't sell your soul to get anywhere because you may need it one day."

Oh, come on. We're with Wendy on this one. Again, not to defend her, and we can certainly understand why Jay and Kara Saun were hurt and angry, but when you start talking about someone's soul in the context of a reality television competition, you're getting a little full of yourself. Especially since, Jay and Kara Saun, at this point, had absolutely no reason to be threatened by her. They had to know that she had no chance to win the competition, so why not just ignore her at this point? They would have come off looking a lot better, which is probably a lesson that was learned by all the designers in subsequent seasons because we were never again treated to such delicious drama as this on the show. Oh sure, there were blowups and personality conflicts, but nothing like this, where the full on hatred of the participants was laid out for everyone to see.

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

"I CAN'T SING, I KNOOOWWWW!
AND IT'S TRUE I CAN'T SEEEWWW!
SO CIAO, EVERYOONNNNNNE!!!!
THEPRGAYBOYSAREWATCHINGEPISODE5TONIGHTANDIT
SHOULDBEFUUUUNNNN!!!!"


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Ciao, Vanessa!

"Oh fuck, did I just say that out loud?"

We didn't think she was the one who needed to go, but unfortunately, she didn't seem to be taking the competition as seriously as she could have and that became fairly obvious to the judges when she ran her mouth off on the runway. As team members go, she was among the worst, not for her lack of sewing skills but for her constant second-guessing of the team leader and her overt and too-often-stated dislike for the design.

Oddly enough, it was Wendy of all people who made the best team member, with her "Show me what to do and I'll do it." attitude.

As for the dress itself...

Oh, he just likes to pretend he has boobies.

Honestly? It wasn't the most original idea in the world but it was far more interesting than what Kevin's team produced and it was for the most part well-executed.

The "little girl lost" styling was perhaps a skosh too literal and if they had gone with styling that worked against the dress instead of working with it, it would have created a tension that could have made the whole look more interesting. As lame as Melissa's fauxhawk was, it probably would have worked better with this dress.

Still, it's definitely a look and an appropriately over-the-top one at that.

And as for Austin's leadership skills...

If they judged based on the ability to evoke the heroine of a 19th century novel, he'd have won this one cold. Just out of frame, turbaned Nubian manservants are fanning him with ostrich feathers to alleviate his grief.

Or maybe that's just in his head.

"...in fields of silk and taffetta. The sun will always shine over you and you will spend eternity making pretty dresses together. Now dry your eyes, little fashionista. It's what she would have wanted."



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

And the retro train keeps rolling along. Funny how each designer seemed to pick a decade. Alexandra: 1930s, Austin: 1950s, Wendy: 1960s and now Vanessa: 1940s.

We'll give her credit for at least updating a 1940s look instead of simply redoing it outright. We don't really like this dress, though. First off, it doesn't look particularly well-executed and secondly that neckline is a bit much. Nothing wrong with a plunging neckline but it's not something you'd see at Banana Republic and besides, all you need is a slight breeze to get her arrested on an indecent exposure charge.

That hemline does look a little interesting, but unfortunately we can't get a good enough look at it to judge either way.

Oy. Did she skin a muppet to get that thing?

This is a walking disaster. It's to his credit that he knew it. There's nothing more painful than an oblivious designer beaming proudly as their latest hot mess comes strolling down the runway.

We almost feel like there's no point in critiquing this since the episode made it clear that this wasn't so much a design as it was whatever was left over on the dress form after he spent too long experimenting. Although this dress was damned right from the starting point just because of his fabric choices. Faux leopard and ice blue charmeuse? Yikes.

We were never really on the Robert-is-a-hottie bandwagon, but y'know? Stress looks good on him. When he's not mugging for the cameras or acting like a doofus, he's downright do-able.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

Ew.

We guess it's supposed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek but frankly, it's bordering on the vulgar and again, we're surprised the judges seemed to gloss right over it.

This is just a great big what the fuck. For some reason, the designers this season seem determined to do everything they can to make pretty girls look like scary clowns.

We just don't get it at all. Where's the "envy" part?

Hate it. Hate the rick-racky trim. It makes the whole thing look way too home-sewn. Once again, we have to ask: where's the envy part of this, Alexandra?

She's got it, yeah baby she's got it
I'm your Venus
I'm your fire
Your desire

It's just so bleh. So...undesigned. It's not ugly and it seems to be well-executed but when you're relying on the whickety whack to make your outfit, there's definitely something lacking in your design.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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As The Laundry Turns

Hooboy! Wendy Pepper, bringing the personality disorder to the game! You have to figure that before reality television came along, these types of people were probably weeded out by natural selection. Sure, they're fun to watch, but you wouldn't want one of them sleeping in your tribe.

"This challenge was very important to me because I myself struggle with envy constantly. Of course we all do on some level, don't you think? Who doesn't want to set their neighbor's house on fire for having a better lawn than you do? Anyway, when the bad feelings come and everything looks red, I find a quiet spot and rock back and forth to plot my next move."

"Must keep sewing...must keep sewing...must keep sewing..."

"Oh fuck. I thought she was in bed.

Hi Wendy. Boy, I'm exhausted, right? This is just too bloody much for me."

"So to overcome the crashing purple waves of envy just outside my peripheral vision, always threatening to consume and drag me under to their black depths, where the bad people who want to hurt me live, I've devised a strategy of fucking with everyone's heads so I can destroy them and get them out of my way."

"Hi Vanessa...must keep sewing...must keep sewing...must devise strategy...fuck with heads... destroy them...get them out of my way...must keep sewing..."

"Uh...it's not much of a strategy if you're going around and actually telling everyone what your strategy is, Wendy."

"must kill Vanessa in her sleep tonight..."

"You're bloody crazy. Do you know that? I mean really, do you know that? Because everyone else does, but I don't think you've quite caught on yet, love.""

"Shut up, you snooty English bitch!
'Ooooooh! Oym VahNESSahh! Oy think Oy'm so bloody sophisticated because Oy 'ave an accent!'
Well piss off, Mary Fucking Poppins!"

"Are bad accents part of your 'strategy' too, Miss Streep? Do a German one now! I'm sure that'll bloody 'destroy' me, you Class A whackadoo!"

"I don't need this, you know. I'll just leave and take my rocking back and forth somewhere else, then. All I ever tried to do was be nice to you while I plotted your downfall, you...you MEAN HEAD! Well, I wouldn't sleep too soundly tonight if I were you, Princess Fergie!

cut and sew...and cut and sew...and cut and cut and cut..."

"I wonder if I can get Alexandra to switch beds with me tonight?"

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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