Bleeding for Fashion

"Are you there, God? It's me, Jillian.

I- I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

"...I really fucked up."

Oh boy, did she ever.

But check out her little cha-cha skirt! Shake it, Anita!

Oy. Where to start. From the top, we guess. But first, let's talk about washes. Specifically, that these are the wrong ones. That light, brushed denim is very not in right now and no matter what she tried to do with it, it was going to look drab and out of style. She addresses this in her interview at the Bravo site:

"It seemed a lot of the designers were going for the darker washes. As soon as the challenge was presented to us, I had the design in my head and I imagined it in an almost white denim. Instead I ended up with light denim (in the two seconds we had to make a decision). I realize that, presently in fashion, it's all about the not-so-washed dark denim, but ... alright, I messed up! And OK fine -- the coat looked a whole lot better in my head!"

Okay, okay. No need to get testy there, girl.

But you see darling, that just means you're a woman now!

Anyway, back to this monstrosity.

Alright, from the top: the collar might've worked had it been executed better but we hate the shoulders on this thing. Bad enough she went with a different wash for the sleeves, but then she attached them at such a weird point. It makes her look broad and droopy.

The bodice is plain and flat-looking - especially when you take into account all the frippery she placed on this thing.

Exhibit A. We're trying to envision a way in which this might have worked, but no. It just doesn't.

Exhibit B: There's just no way something like that could ever work. If you're not sitting at your desk at work, say this out loud: "Denim sleeve ruffles." See? It sounds ludicrous. That's because it is.

Okay, even if you are at work, say it out loud. When your cubicle mate looks at you funny, smile mysteriously. They'll stop hitting you up for birthday club money.

We also hate the proportions on the skirt. Too full for a trench coat, let alone a denim one.

Everything about this was a complete miss. Wrong color choice, bad proportions, too much frippery and to top it all off, terribly executed. She's better than this. For that matter, so was VictorYA. It seems to us that they were both so thrown off their game by having to work with an unfamiliar fabric, that they both defaulted to their previous almost-winning design and tried to duplicate it.

The only reason VictorYA got the auf was because Jillian clearly put more effort into her design. The results were just as bad, but at least she tried. Plus, she finally managed to do the one thing that VictorYA never could.

Allow emotion to register on her face.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Pulling on Rami's Zipper

We still have dresses from last week to rip, darlings! Let's get to it.

Awwww, how can we rip on this little ragamuffin?

Watch and learn.

We half-love it. Or rather, we love half of it. Okay two-thirds of it.

Even though it does look a little annoying to wear, we do love that collar.

It would probably drive us a little crazy after a while, sure. Then again, we don't have to wear it.

We also really like the tight high-waisted skirt and the rows of buttons adorning it.

Beautifully fitted and executed.

From the hips up, it's a very chic, stylish look. So much so, that it almost doesn't look like denim at all.

It's what happens below the hips that almost ruins it. We probably wouldn't have loved a fully pleated skirt, but it would have been better than this weird jockstrap outline he went with.

That's the thing with Rami; he doesn't know when to edit. It seems like every outfit he makes has every trick in his book thrown at it. We're pretty sure the only reason it isn't a draped toga is because you can't drape denim effectively.

Oh, and speaking of outlines...

Yes, it looked great and it was a fine choice to make. Very appropriate for the challenge. But please, Tim. Enough with the hyperbole. "The fact that it is a zipper, it's fabulous...it has the potential for blowing everybody away!" As we said, a fine choice to make, but he didn't invent the idea of using zippers as seam piping (and neither did Jeffrey for that matter).

We're starting to think that Rami could staple some swatches of muslin together and those bitches would fall all over themselves praising it. Yes, he's one hot fucker and yes, he's a pretty great designer, but praising him to the high heavens for every little thing he does isn't going to make him sleep with you, people. Once again, Nina looked like she needed to be hosed down.

"Come here and give Mommy a big sloppy kiss!"


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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The Dress Whisperer

Maybe he should have spent less time talking to it and a little time listening to it because we're pretty sure it was saying "Stop! Please!"

Darlings, the more we look at this...

...the more we are simply overcome with ennui. Dull, dull, dull.

Worse than that: dated, which has been a real problem with Chris' work.

This is why we couldn't be judges. We really like Chris and we think he's very talented, so we hate to rake him over the coals - which we are about to do. Give us a sec to get our bitchpants on.

...

Actually, we can't work up the energy to rake him over the coals. We're so bored by this dress that we can't seem to string together the required 500 words to trash it. But for you, we'll try.

It's such a boring '90s Country Music Awards retread. We hate the boob flaps and we hate the thick straps that run all the way down to form pockets.

PLUS, he FRAYED them, kittens. He FRAYED DENIM. That is decidedly UNfabulous. According to him, his idea was to do the LBD in denim. Call us snobs if you want, but the classic LBD should never have frayed ANYTHING.

It's rare that we hate EVERYTHING Chris does, but we really hate everything about this dress. The skirt looks too tight and we don't like the way it slightly flares out at the bottom.

Chris, like Sweet P, seems to be struggling to find his way in the competition. Ever since his auf'ing and subsequent return, he seems to be straddling a line between playing it safe and giving in to his costuming aesthetic. He's got killer execution skills and a flair for the dramatic that rivals any of the other designers. He could make it all the way to the end on those two factors alone. He was just damn lucky that there were uglier garments on the runway this week, because the minute we saw this, we said "Nina's going to HATE that."

Another problem we have is with the accessorizing. Chris' work rarely seems "modern" to us. It doesn't help when he wraps scarves or chokers around the model. This is the third time he's done so this season. Chris darling, you're not working with drag queens here. You don't have to cover their Adam's apple.

See? She looks so much better without the scarf.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Princess Puffysleeves at NASCAR

Christian sums up our feelings on the judging this week:

We couldn't agree more, Princess.

This:

Was pretty fucking amazing. Not without its problems, mind you, but amazing nonetheless.

See, we don't know about the rest of you, but we don't watch Project Runway so we can see clothing that you could pick up at any mall in America.

We watch it so we can see designers make crazy, fabulous, beautiful things under extreme conditions.

And for the bitchery.

Let's get one thing out of the way first. Fabulous as this is, we don't feel Christian was robbed of the win for several reasons. First, this doesn't really say "iconic Levi's 501" to us. Second (and we'll grant you that this isn't quite fair), this would have been a bitch to manufacture at a Levi's price point.

One major criticism we have of Christian's designs is that he rarely seems to take into consideration how they would look on an actual woman, size 0 or not. He's so caught up in his frippery and detailing that he doesn't notice things like he might be giving his 90-lb. model what looks like a beer gut.

Having said that, the jacket is gorgeous in its own way - and beautifully constructed. On the other hand, we've seen this look from Christian plenty of times before: the puffy sleeves, the ruffled bib. Come on, girl. Do something else for a change.

We realize that technically this isn't a sewing competition, but damn, is it impressive that he was able to construct something like that in such a short period of time. Flawless execution.

And the jeans are FABULOUS. Yes, yes, skinny jeans are the bane of the modern woman's existence. We get it. They're still fabulous.

Love that he used sleeve cuffs for the legs and we also love the button detail on the back of the calves. It's hard to find something new in the world of jeans, but damn if our little princess didn't find it.

Yeah, it was obvious that Princess thought she should have won it, but she thinks that every week. He's a pretty amazing designer, we have to say. Unfortunately, he's not shown us that he can do anything outside of a very narrow range. Which is fine; plenty of very successful designers have a narrow focus. It's just that in PR, it doesn't get you the big wins.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Chic P

Honey, none of us needed to see that.

This, on the other hand, was a joy to behold - and a bit of a shock. We admit it, even after all this time and thousands of viewing hours, those little editor gremlins can still throw us off. This was super cute.

When she first mentioned she was making a denim wedding dress, we, to use the PR euphemism, wondered if she had "taste issues." Girl, the biker babes might love the idea of a country hoedown wedding, but you're crazy if you think Nina Garcia's going to do anything but vomit in Michael Kors' lap at the thought of it.

Sweet P, honey, what the FUCK are you wearing?

It's to the credit of both of them that Tim was able to steer her away from the idea (presumably, he knew they were going to spring the "retail" twist on them at the last minute) and she was smart enough to heed his advice. If she had sent a denim bridal gown down that runway, she more than likely would have received an automatic auf over it.

Instead, she sent this lovely, chic, simple, graphic dress down the runway and the judges rightfully swooned over it.

In our minds, this was probably the best candidate for the win. It was simple and classic enough for the Levi's brand, it would have been relatively easy to manufacture, and it even had a slightly retro '70s vibe that works well with denim.

The one major issue was in execution and we're a bit surprised the judges didn't mention it - although they probably did and it was edited out to heighten the who-will-win tension. Namely, the color blocking was off.

The pieces in the skirt don't line up with the pieces in the bodice and clearly, they were meant to. Those cups are a little wonky too.

Still, the choices she made as to which washes to use and how to use them were spot on. It may have had some execution issues but it was a beautifully designed dress.

We have to say, we're impressed with Sweet P. She was thrown off plenty of times early in the game, but she keeps getting better and better at it. Between this, the prom dress and the ready-to-wear she made last week, we're starting to really love her style and aesthetic. It gets a little annoying sometimes watching her flounder in the work room, but she positively glowed when the judges sent praise her way and we found it charming.

Nice going, biker chick.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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