Oui! Oui! Je suis tackée!

Dear Diary,
Woke up in Paris this morning. Still fierce.
Love,
Me

The thing we love about Kaynebow is his supreme self-confidence in the face of adversity. You don't grow up a fat gay kid in Tennessee without developing some world-class coping skills and skin as thick as a rhino's. Unfortunately, that attitude may just be his downfall on PR.

This dress is pure Monet. Looks pretty good from far away, but the closer you get, the fuglier it becomes.

Let's get the compliments out of the way. The skirt is gorgeous and flows beautifully, the bodice is a work of architecture and yes, it deserves to be pointed out, Kayne does have a wonderful sense of color.

BTW, Amanda? Fierce, girl! She worked that thing like her next meal (which was probably about 3 days away) depended on it. The styling looked great too. We almost didn't recognize her.

But let's move in a little closer, shall we?

Ahhhh!!!! Our eyes! They burn! Too much, Kaynebow! Way, way too much!

Here's the thing about using asymmetry in design. It should be used to make a statement, therefore, it should be used sparingly. The top of the bodice was asymmetrical, the bottom was asymmetrical, the trim was asymmetrical and the lacing was asymmetrical. That's not making a statement, it's making a speech. Loudly. Through a bullhorn. With a lisp.

Oh, Tim. Say "visible boning" again. It makes us weak.

This is what we mean about his fierce self-confidence doing him in. If he can't edit himself (and it appears he can't), then he needs to listen to the people who are telling him to do so.

In 1977, one of us made a Christmas corsage in Cub Scouts for his mother out of this exact same material. How is it that Kayne managed to shop in a high-end fabric store in Paris and come away with something you could find in a craft store in suburbia?

"*gasp!* Ohmigod! Everyone's right! I am a tacky queen!"