SMACK-O-RAMA!

Clutch your pearls, ladies! We about fell out from the cornucopia of fashion bitchery on display last night. There's a lot to choose from, but the cage match between the Fashion Valkyrie and the Skinny Weasel was definitely a highlight. Heidi looked about ready to throw down.

"It's quite simple. Even though I acted like I was guilty at the time, I was clearly set up. Evil Bravo people snuck into my room and planted these -- what is it you call them? Pattern books?"

"Oh, are we going there? That's how it's gonna be, is it? You want to talk shit about my crew, bitch? YOU WANNA TALK SHIT ABOUT MY CREW?!"

"Y dart! See? I really do know how to sew, you guys."

"Oh, is Fräulein getting a little uncomfortable? I am so much prettier and talented than everyone else in this room and you know it, Goldilocks.

Sorry, Alison."

"Jesus, what a dickhead."

"Are you kidding me? Get over yourself, princess. So you made a dress out of a sheet. Congratulations. Here's your sewing badge, Campfire Girl.

You couldn't even make a dog collar, du verlogener Drecksack!! You creeped out Miss USA and believe me, those pageant girls are plenty used to getting felt up! "

"Okay, you're spitting on me.

And you're scaring me a little bit."

"Arschloch."

Wasn't that, as Tim would say, "Thrilling?"

As per usual, our girl summed it up better than we could: