Did you not love last night's drama? We're going to look for ways to work the phrase "Level Eight Blonde" into all our conversations this week and we encourage you to do the same.
First, a HUGE congratulations to Tabatha for what has surely amounted to the most significant event in her life, winning the shortcut challenge. Fat, salty tears streamed down our cheeks as we realized that yes, she had achieved a Level Eight Blonde - and then some!
We've amended our take on Tabatha. Yes, she's a scary hair witch, but she's got spunk and we like that. We wanted to kiss her when she offered to beat Evangelin with a mannequin head. Truth be told, we think she's not so much a witch as someone who would enjoy spending her time flinging busses and manhole covers at Christopher Reeve.
Anthony's a sweetheart (and cute), so he needs to step it up in order to keep us entertained. This low-key competence thing just isn't going to work for us.
Yes, she looks adorable and the cut is hot, so you totally deserved the win but we're more interested in YOU, Anthony. Don't you want to cry on camera? Just a little? Vow to destroy another competitor? Sleep with one of the wig stands? You ARE straight, right? It's so hard to tell with Black British guys.
Speaking of the wig stands, they were marginally better than last week's. Of course, they're all wannabe actresses who don't have a knack for waiting tables, but what they DO have ... is HAIR and lots of it. HAIR and a DREAM. Empires have been built on less. At least this week the girls could walk the runway without looking constipated, although who can blame them in those ugly Cynthia Rowley outfits?
And speaking of wig stands who can act...
...she deserves an Academy Award just for managing not to cry. Seriously, WE'RE having a hard time not bursting into tears at the sight of her. Did Jim use tomato paste on her hair?
Oh Jim.
The only thing more entertaining than watching someone flail about in a reality show competition, is watching someone flail about in a reality show competition while pretending they are totally on top of their game.
The sight of Jim haughtily proclaiming that he KNOWS color while his poor wig stand's head slowly turned every color of the rainbow like one of those optical strand lamps they sell to college students? Entertainment nirvana. Actually, we were sorry to see Jim go. There was a Class-A meltdown in his near future.
Of course, there are still plenty of candidates waiting in the wings...
Oh Evangelin, you weeping Italian Cabbage Patch Kid, how we love you. Do you weep for your missing "e'? Is that it? Or do you truly love hair so much that you spend all day crying over it? Who cares? You are entertainment gold, girl! Just keep up your exhausting schedule of crying twice in every episode and we'll love you forever.
Although that haircut looks a little more Flintstones than it does Halle Berry. A bone wouldn't be out of place there. Just sayin'.
Anyway, initial thoughts. We'll have plenty more once we've watched the episode a couple dozen times.
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