Christian & Carmen

Well, we'll say one thing about Princess.

That bitch can sketch.

Not only that; it appears to us that he comes into a project with everything fully formed. That sketch looks almost exactly like the finished look. No "take it as it comes" or "we'll see what happens" with this one. There's no journey in Christian's work; it's all destination.

And let's face it: there should have been more of a toning down and/or reimagining at some point during the process. We suspect SJP picked him to realize his design based on the strength of his sketch but assumed there would be some tweaking along the way.

Let's start with the jacket. Lorenzo hated it on sight (and can't get past the white zipper) but Tom kinda liked it.

Sure the silhouette's a bit much, but pair that jacket with a skinny pair of jeans and a killer set of heels and that would be a hot look.

Unfortunately, they paired it with this dress. And model. And shoes. And hair, makeup and jewelry.

In other words, after the jacket, every single other choice they made was the wrong choice.

First, the dress is too tight and unflattering. The hem is too high, the color is boring and the turtleneck is too overwhelming.

Second, the belt and shoes bring it firmly into the arena of "Office Christmas Party '89." We agree with SJP. He's so young that he didn't even realize how literally retro he was being. He thought he was putting all these great style elements together when all he was doing was revisiting a look an entire generation of office assistants wore as their uniform for about half a decade starting right around the time he was forming his spinal column.

And girl could use some Spanx. Just sayin'.

Princess is certainly quite full of herself, but maybe that's what she thinks she needs to stay focused and competitive. Certainly, it makes for better television.

Maybe we're getting old - we're still young enough to start that sentence with "maybe" though - but what we used to look at as youthful exuberance more and more looks to us like blockheaded inexperience coupled with the inability to self-examine. It's more exciting to be young and completely full of yourself, but it's more interesting to be experienced and aware of your strengths and limitations.

It's WAY too early in the game to write him off, but early impressions lead us to believe that girlfriend needs to seriously examine what she's doing rather than constantly blowing kisses to herself in the mirror. And as an aside, big kudos to SJP for going out of her way to give him the most constructive, helpful criticism she could.

One more thing...

The absolute least believable crying scene in the history of ever.

SQUEEZE!

SQUEEZE THOSE TEARS OUT!

[Photo: Seenon.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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