That Saturn guy was a little minty, wasn't he? Anyone who can stand next to Tim Gunn and make him look like a big hulking slab o' man is quite the little will o' the wisp.
Anyway.
Kittens, we hear a lot of you bitch and moan whenever they do these "unconventional materials" challenges. We gotta say, we don't agree. Last night's show really demonstrates not only why these challenges are appropriate for a design competition, but also why they're golden for a reality television show. To wit: you get to see some stunningly beautiful fashion that really shows you who the creative ones are AND you get some godawful trainwrecks walking down the runway with the extra added bonus of a complete mental breakdown. Score!
So CONGRATS JUDY NOODLES!
Darlings, this was absolutely stunning. Her best work in the competition by far.
Look at that list of materials she used. You would NEVER know that she ripped them out of a car (unlike a LOT of the entries last night).
And it was gorgeously executed.
Her seam placements are just beautiful and they really draw the eye in interesting ways, effectively countering a highly unusual silhouette.
She really did manage to blow that girl's hips up to twice their size and yet still produce a beautiful and, in its own way, flattering silhouette.
This was clearly not meant to be worn by everyday people in everyday situations. This is FASHION with a capital F and sometimes, the look works not because it classically flatters a woman's body, but because it's so beautiful in its own right.
The other design element that really makes this look like high end couture was the pleated, fringed trim made out of seatbelts. GOR-JUS. PERFECTLY executed, they compliment the somewhat hard-edged effect of the leather. Just the right touch of frill without being too frilly.
Seatbelts! Crazy.
Little Judy Bernly's been struggling at the Xerox machine for a while now and it's really gratifying to see her come back into her own as a designer and a competitor. This look was so well done that we think it puts Leanne firmly at the top of the short list for Bryant Park.
When we grabbed our seats for the screening of the Shear Genius finale, the last ten minutes or so of PR was running on the screen - without any sound. It was infuriating seeing who was in and who was auf without being able to hear any of it. "He's crying!" we shrieked hysterically. "Why is my man crying?!?"
"Wait. YOUR man?!" And then we hit each other with our beaded clutches.
Fortunately, we ran to Laura's after the party and sat with her and watched the episode complete with inside judgery scoop - all of which will be revealed later as well as the story behind that picture with Nina. We are so good to you bitches.
Anyway, our poor Muscle Mormon had an almost Andrae level of breakdown last night. Except he acted a little douchey to boot.
This was sad. There's really no other way to put it. A sad sack.
"I'm more worried about what the judges are going to think than what I'm going to design and that's not a comfortable position to be in as a designer."
No, studly. It's a disastrous position to be in - and one that was entirely of your own choosing.
That's the thing with self-proclaimed self-taught designers. They've never been through a critical process and they don't know how to respond to it. Keith chose second-guessing himself and being a jerk to the people around him.
"Watch the breathing. Do not sit down."
Seriously? If you have to say that to your model, you're in deep shit. Not that he didn't realize he was in deep shit, but he tried his best to claim it was everyone else's fault instead of admitting he made a piece of shit garment.
We'll give him credit for one thing. Like Leanne's, he did manage to obscure the fact that he used car parts to make it.
Unfortunately, it was so poorly made and such a blah design on top of it, he would have been better off tying two headlights over her boobs and strapping a bumper to her ass.
Honestly, it was a little uncomfortable to watch last night. He really tried to do something outside his own aesthetic and totally crashed and burned. It's just poorly made, which became painfully obvious when the mere act of sitting caused it to come apart, and really poorly fitted.
Then again, Keith never did much in the way of fitted work and it's looking like he's not very good at it.
And WHAT the fuck is THAT? Was he hoping that the judges would only see the front of the garment?
Like we said, it was tough to watch last night. He clearly hasn't developed the tools to handle constructive criticisms - choosing, as he did, to characterize them as insults - but La Grande Duchess flicked open her fan and shut that down right quick:
"Guess what? You're going out there in the public, OK? You're throwing yourself into a situation that people are going to comment. You might not love the comment.You let it roll off your back and you get back to the next project."
Amen, sister.
But we don't care what you all think or how badly he cracked under strain, our hearts swelled to ten times their size when he bawled like a cute little musclebaby.
Or maybe those were our crotches.
Keith's exit interview:
More pics:
[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Videos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com] [Additional Pictures: Courtesy of Lisa Gilpin/Saturn/Rethink Design]
THREE more to go?! Let's knock this shit out so we can all head to the bar.
Kelli:
We don't even remember this one.
Kelli says: "I love it. Maybe not 110% relevant to the Olympics but she looks fabulous." Oh, honey. You're making 3 points here and only one of them is accurate.
This isn't even 10% related to the Olympics. And she doesn't look fabulous. She looks like a '50s housewife running errands.
We believe you when you say you love it, though.
If we pretend that it's not supposed to be an outfit for the Olympics, it's not horrible. The skirt's kind of nice and the blouse isn't bad, but we hate both the bow and the fabric.
And it's at least well-made.
To recap: A little boring and a lot unrelated to the challenge. Next!
Keith:
Wow. This is wrong on a lot of levels. Once again, we're going to have to pretend that this wasn't made for the Olympics because it's so clearly not appropriate for it. Bubble skirts for the Olympics. Honestly.
It's interesting to note that he changed his idea/concept completely. Why, we don't know, because that sketch looks a lot more interesting than the end product.
The proportions are all wrong on this.
That scarf is way too huge, the skirt is way too short and the vest is way too long with a collar way too large.
Tone down the collar and the scarf and turn the skirt into a pair of shorts and he could have had something there. Next!
The general consensus seems to be that Stella doesn't belong here because her aesthetic is so narrow. To be fair, we made that point too. Well, we're prepared to backtrack on that. Stella really does deserve her shot. Why? Because she's actually very good at sticking to her guns while at the same time molding her aesthetic to fit the challenge.
Because y'know? This isn't bad at all. No, we can't really see Olympians wearing this. Not really. But it's still a sporty look that looks like Stella.
Before anyone jumps on us, we have to point out that we really hate the exposed belly button.
On the other hand, we really love what she did with the red, white and blue. Sure it's all a little roller derby, but again, that's a case of her marrying her aesthetic with the dictates of the challenge. She was never going to do simple sportswear and we shouldn't expect her to, but she did make something that fits the challenge a hell of a lot better than most of the others.
Stella says: "This outfit had to be sleek and cool. It represents the country in a bad-ass way."
You know what, girl? Mission accomplished.
It's a strong look and an athletic look and with the metallic strips it's even a patriotic look. Do we love it? Not really. Okay, maybe a little. Full length pants and an unexposed navel would have made a huge difference here.
You wanna hear something else shocking? She reminds us of someone. You'll never guess.
Laura Bennett.
We'll wait for the screaming to die down so we can explain. Like Laura, she works in a narrow range and like Laura, she's very good at making that work within each challenge.
But what really makes her seem like Laura's dark twin is that she has that extremely rare quality of being 100% comfortable and 100% herself on camera. She doesn't give a fuck what people think of her and that's not only refreshing, it's really entertaining. We'll say it again: Bravo, give this lady her own show. She's gold.
More detailed pictures:
[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com] [Additional Pictures: Courtesey of ProjectRunway.com]
