Before we bid a final auf Wiedersehen to Emily, let's take a look at her Smoke & Mirrors collection. Her website tells us:
"Smoke & Mirrors manufactures clothes that creative and edgy women want to wear. Whether their customer is a fashionista, entrepreneur, actress or mom, Smoke & Mirror's goal is to make a woman feel beautiful, sexy and powerful. With a focus on luxury fabrics, funky details and trims, women will shine while making a statement."
We have to say, if it's statement-making clothes, then these are barely whispering. Take each piece on its own and there's nothing really wrong with them. Some are quite nice. Looking at the whole collection, though, and it all looks very one-note and simplistic. It's all inoffensive, but there's no excitement or even interest generated by silhouette, fabric, embellishments or color.
Can we reiterate that we just don't get where she's coming from when she calls her designs "underground?"
Y'know, it's not the worst thing we've seen on that runway. It's arguably not even the worst thing seen on the runway last night.
In the "points added" column, she did a pretty good job interpreting her source image. And let's face it, none of those dresses last night really did all that hot a job of "capturing" New York at night. This was at least one of the best efforts in that regard.
In the "points taken away" column, it's a yawningly basic dress which required that all the work be done by the embellishment and frankly, the embellishment failed to do its job.
We are of course, talking about that "Donny and Marie, circa 1978" skating costume ruffle.
It's just so weird, the way she arranged it. We might be persuaded that a ruffle like that could work on a dress, but thought needs to be put into where and how much of it is going to be applied. Why does it cut right across her boobs like that? And then right down her stomach to come to a stop right at her cooch? What is that? Is that how they do it "underground?"
At this point in our PR-watching careers, it's like watching mice in cages react the same way over and over again to certain stimuli. It's kind of psycho- and sociologically interesting to see all the patterns of behavior play themselves out repeatedly. Last night, Emily stepped into the "Delusional" role as she walked away from Tim's rather harsh and pointed criticism of her dress and said, "Tim gave me kind of a mixed review but I have my own sense of style, direction. I'm happy with my dress."
Honey, when Tim starts off a sentence with "I'm worried about the judges," he ain't talking about their health. "Mixed review," my ass.
By the way, anyone notice the dress on that Elle cover behind her? Deliberate or subconscious inspiration? You make the call!
And as far as designers having their own "style" and "direction," that's all well and good and it can even work in your favor sometimes in the judging, but until you get your ass to Bryant Park, you need to consider those judges to get through the competition.
Personally, we wouldn't have auf'd her, but it's exactly the kind of thing those judges love to hate.
And let's face it, when Nina can't even be bothered to say anything about your dress, you've committed the gravest of PR sins. You have bored Nina. Pack up your headbands, girl. You're going home.
Daniel, honey. Seriously. Do some deep breathing, talk to your doctor to see if Xanax is right for you, buy some crystals, masturbate - whatever. Just calm down.
Because honey, even your dress looks nervous. It looks fussed over and disheveled and unsure of itself; like she's going to spend the night in the corner adjusting her bra straps and picking imaginary lint off herself.
The proportions are way off on this thing and nothing looks well fitted or well executed.
The bodice is shapeless and unflattering. The placement of the straps/cap sleeves makes her look wider than she is and the waist can't seem to decide where it wants to sit on her.
We do like the skirt, especially from behind.
We get the impression there's a kernel of creativity and skill there with Daniel. But we're not kidding, his high anxiety is gonna kill him in this contest. The likelihood of his impending psychotic break increases with each challenge. He's gonna be a puddle of sweat with a damp tie floating in it if he makes it to Bryant Park.
Emily talks a big game about how her work is "underground," but so far, we don't see it.
Or is "underground" the new slang for "three sizes too small?" Put a bow in her hair and she's a slutty Baby Snooks.
It's not all bad. We really like the braiding in the bodice - and that's saying something because we rarely like braided fabric.
And the back of it's not bad.
It's just the utterly bizarre proportions on this thing. Everything either sits too low or rides too high; the cups make her boobs look small (and low) and the skirt makes her hips look wide and her legs look heavy. Could've been cute, but the execution was a big fail.
