Calgon, take us away!

Kittens, we've looked at so many shitty dresses this week that last night we dreamed we were drowning in a sea of muslin, rick-rack, and Rit dye.

Yow.

That is one poorly-fitted dress. It looks like Daniel soaked it in water, wrung it out, and handed it to the model 30 seconds before she walked down the runway. "Don't worry! It's drip-dry!"

Design wise, it's fine. A little basic and a little slutty, but it's fine.

It takes a lot of thought to make something as humble as muslin look tacky, but to the delight of Amish hookers everywhere, Daniel found a way. That trim is a bit much and a bit weirdly placed.

Guh.

See? We can't even form words anymore! "Yow." "Guh." These shitty dresses are making us go all caveman, darlings!

It's not that we don't like Kara's dress. It's cute, actually. We like the proportions and the fullness of the skirt. We're not fans of big floppy bows, but it works here.

It's the rick-rack, poodles. We can't help but recoil from it.

Oh, it's fine for some sort of artsy-crafty, felt-and-glue kinda project, but not on grownup clothes. Never on grownup clothes.

Even if she's trying to be ironic with it - sorry, no can do. But doesn't that skirt look great from behind?

Our first thought with Andrae's outfit was that she looked like she was walking down the runway in underwear. Someone else's, judging by the poor fit. But we're just going to have to suspend that criticism retroactively for every entry because every designer clearly struggled with it, given the nature of the challenge and the almost total lack of time for alterations.

So this really didn't jump out at us when we first saw it, but looking at the screencaps, we noticed that there's a lot of nicely rendered details in this garment and it really requires a second look.

We get why some of the designers chose not to dye their garments - they could argue that they were letting the designs speak for themselves. Andrae however, should have invested in a couple boxes. This is prettier and more wearable than a big chunk of the entries, but it was so colorless and deceptively simple that we - and apparently, the judges - passed it right by.

Sixteen shitty muslin dresses! Done!


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Big Basket of Not-So's

Not so good, not so bad.

Geez, it's really hard to throw the bitchery around when you know the designer. Emmett darling, we loveya, but we don't love this dress.

Actually, it's not the dress as much as it's that jacket. As it is, the dress has a lot of elements to be taken in and it's to his credit that he kept them all subtle by going monochromatic. But there's enough going on without the jacket. The outfit doesn't need it and the jacket is just too fussy and busy.

Without it, the dress is pretty, if a little unflattering. It's almost as if he melded two dresses. If it didn't have that flared skirt, it'd be a cute little slip dress; if he'd kept the flared skirt and went with a more fitted bodice, it'd be a cute little cocktail dress.

We think Kirsten's fabulous, but this? Is not.

It seems like such a strange entry for this challenge. So blah. There's a little interest generated by the jacket, but not much.

And what we're left with doesn't look particularly well made. That back looks like a kid's craft project. Nor is it a particular good or even interesting design. Seems very fashion school-y.

And the tailoring on the pants looks terrible. We're actually a little surprised the judges didn't call her out on this.

M-I-C...

Seeya real soon!

K-E-Y...

Why? Because this dress is irritating the shit out of us!

Lovely silhouette, deep rich color. Fine. Good job, Daniel. Got that out of the way.

Now.

WHAT THE HELL is going on with that bust? It's so weirdly tailored that it completely disguises her natural curves and those utterly bizarre mouse ears are totally distracting. Plus, the trim on the skirt and the unflattering angle of that belt are big WTFs.

And then the "Too much shit on this dress" sweepstakes continue as she turns around, revealing herself to be a giant handbag.

Daniel, there's too much shit on this dress.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Damn, there's a lot of cheap dresses to talk about.

So let's get on with it, shall we?

We were going to put Raymundo's entry in the "bad" pile but y'know, it's actually not bad once you take a look at it. We hate the vest. It doesn't add anything to the dress and that poofy shit on the shoulders is distracting and ugly.

But the dress itself is well-made and pretty in its own way. Plus, he was one of the few among them who really tried to make the fabric look like more than what it was.

It really looked like a finished outfit instead of a work-in-progress on a dress form. So kudos for that. But we hate that trim on the bottom of the skirt.

On the other hand...

That is one pissed off model.

Can't say we blame her. That is some Omega-class fug.

She looks like she barely survived an industrial accident in that thing.

As much as we think Marla could've or should've gone home for this hideous thing, this is what happens when the judges place a premium on "point of view." We're not even arguing that they shouldn't; it's just that it allows for crazy-but-ugly entries like this to slip through the cracks and stay in the game.

It takes real ...uh...talent?...to make cheap fabric look like cheap paper. Why do we have a sudden urge to make sure the windows in the back seat are rolled up all the way?


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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From "Enh," to "Not bad," to "WHAT THE HELL?"

First off: Grace? Freakin' fabulous. We love you, you gigantic, exotic Amazon.

The dress? Freakin' dull. Don't get us wrong, it's a passably good design, well-executed. No problems there - although there's some fit issues with the bust.

It's just such a bland dress. There's a little interest at the bottom with the way the skirt flares out, but other than that, this is just a standard gown with spaghetti straps.

Hmmm. A little problem with the fit in the back, too.

Not a bad entry so much as it's a bit standard and disappointing. Good enough to keep her in the competition, which we guess was the whole point anyway.

We're liking Zulema's garment the more we look at it.

Sure, it's no more innovative or interesting than Chloe's entry. This is, after all, standard department store clothing. But there's at least more going on here. More elements and more of an overall statement on Zulema's style, which judging from this, owes quite a bit to the '80s power bitch era.

It's a pretty standard design, presented with just enough drama to make it stand out. Love the pleated skirt and the construction of the jacket, even if does need a good ironing.

And then there's Lupe.

Was there ever a more appropriately named contestant? Good God almighty, what the hell IS this?

AAAAHHHH! Stop! Our eyes!

Okay, being as open-minded as we can be, we'll give her credit for having a strong point of view that she doesn't seem to be shy about expressing. Points there.

Thing is, you can do all sorts of crazy stuff in fashion and be hailed a visionary, but generally speaking, those designers we call visionary tend to have reasons and justifications for their deviations. If you're just gonna throw something down the runway that looks like you stapled it together, what's the point?

Too much, Lupe. Way too much. There's no aesthetic rhyme or reason to this. It's just a lot of frippery tacked on to a mismatched, asymmetrical garment.

Loopy!


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Two We Liked

How much fun is this? We get to talk about Uncle Nick!

More specifically, Uncle Nick's dress, which was a major contender for the win.

And Tarah! Fabulous and HOT!

Nick being Nick, this was well tailored and dyed a gorgeous, rich color. The proportions on that jacket are perfect.

And the dress itself was appropriately (for Nick) goddess-y and red carpet-ready.

With some sass and sexiness thrown in. All in all, a perfect encapsulation of Nick's style and skills.

Then there's Diana who...ohmigod could she be any sweeter? All we can think is "Honey, fashion? They'll run you through a wood-chipper, poor thing. There won't be much of you left after those bitches get done with you."

Except...y'know, she's got a really interesting point of view. We love that collar. It's dramatic and it's different and she didn't go too far with the concept, stopping at just the point where it still looks recognizably like something a lot of women might wear.

The dress itself wasn't particularly well-fitted and it was pretty plain. The detachable skirt wasn't a bad idea in theory. Done well, it could have a lovely kimono-esque quality to it, although there's no real reason to use magnets except as a gimmick.

It didn't help that her choice of color was drab. It wasn't the most well-executed garment on the runway but it did have that little spark of creativity that made you stop and consider it.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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