Do Svidanya, Robbio!

We're feeling uncharacteristically kind-hearted.

To be honest, conceptually, this was actually a very good idea. It's the execution that was piss-poor.

We thought that the basic idea behind it was sound. It still looked like a uniform but with slightly more style and with comfort and ease of movement as the main attributes.

That's all well and good, but unfortunately, the end product was ugly. The fabric looked cheap and the colors were drab and a little depressing. It was also unusually poorly made. Not that Robert ever demonstrated master tailoring skills, but he was usually able to pull something together that looked, you know...done.

That top is an utter disaster. You just know Olga's all "I left Russia for this?"

Here's the thing: we think the judges ignored their own criteria in this instance. Time and time again, in all 3 seasons of the show, when the decision came down to aufing a designer who took some risks and failed and aufing a designer who took no risks, the judges always keep the designer who took the risks. Not so in this case. They'd never admit it, but we suspect the judges had come to the same question that the remaining designers had all been asking: "What is Rob still doing here?" Whatever he designed, unless it turned out to be some sort of masterpiece (which was about as likely as Wendy deciding not to be a sociopath), the judges had it in for him and he was going to go this week.

Don't get us wrong, we're not defending the outfit. It was definitely bad. And yes, it really was time for him to go, but it felt like the judges didn't have a good enough reason to do so and just sort of glossed over that part of the discussion.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Whorin' It Up for Fashion

Well, we guess it's somewhat comforting to know that we'll still have street urchins in 2055. We wonder if they'll still have a tendency to break into song, the plucky little moptops.

Seriously, what the fuck? This is hideous. Somewhere along the line, Robert must have misunderstood the challenge and assumed it was "Buy a lot of thrift store clothes and rip them up." That's about the only plausible explanation for this monstrosity.

Sure, he at least went for a deconstructed look, which puts him ahead of some of the other designers, but it was supposed to be, y'know, a good deconstructed look.

We do kinda like the way he did the quilting though.

That about sums up Robert's design philosophy right there. "How do I use my looks and charm to bullshit my way out of this?"

The sad part is, it worked.

Concerned Fashion Editor: Robert, what's going on?

Self-proclaimed Studly Fashion Designer: Blah blah blah...energy...coffee...solar panels...

uh...

A WOMAN IS LIKE A SPORTS CAR. WITH SOLAR PANELS. Or maybe that's a sunroof.

...

*big cheesy smile*

Giggly Teenage Girl: Oh! Okay, then! Could you turn around so I can see the back?

No, not you. Him.

Reality Television Show Hostess: My spangled top is burning holes in my face, but Robert? You're in. Ann will meet you backstage so you can "thank" her.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

Look! A sports car! Oh wait, that's a woman. We get the two confused so often.

Oh Robert, if women are like sports cars, you just sent a Pacer down the runway.

For someone who's whole schtick seems to be how sexy he finds women, he sure has problems highlighting their natural curves. The fit on this is terrible. It looks like Olga accidentally got booked for a plus-sized show.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ASS-FITTING IN THIS GROUP? We are far from aficionados of the girlbutt, but even we could tell at a glance that that's not how it's supposed to be shaped. It looks like she has the suit on backwards.

We understand the concept of a bathing suit that's more for socializing than actually swimming, really we do, but this is a dress, pure and simple.

A cute, sexy, fun, on-the-beach or by-the-pool kinda dress, but a dress nonetheless. If Martinique hadn't offered to wear her own thong, this probably would have been a disaster.

Look at how constructed that thing is. We at first thought it was a simple wrap of some sort, but that has as much detail as your average bridesmaid dress.

The colors are pretty, though. A little sherbet-y, but this would look great in St. Tropez or South Beach - so long as it never gets wet.

And THAT

is an image we could have done without, thank you very much.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Alexandra, Kevin, and Olga The Terrible

Feh. Alexandra really likes that loose, flowy stuff but she looks like a stack of lampshades.

Yeah....no. If there was a critique, we would offer it, but this is just bland and nondescript. A little too grecian for our tastes and like a lot of the offerings this week, it looks less like a bridal gown than just a white dress.

Before we get into Kevin's dress, it's time for the Models We Don't Like portion of our program.

Olga. While her boyfriend was downright doable, we just can't stand her. She's nasty and she seems to think the show is about her. We're getting a little tired of watching her push the camera out of her face. This isn't paparazzi, you pain in the ass. These are the people filming the show you agreed to be on.

And all the whining about having to wear garments! Get over yourself, Anastasia! Do you hear brain surgeons whine all day about having to, you know, perform surgery on brains? It's your job, girl! Get on with it and shut up.

Despite her pain-in-the-ass-edness and her tackiness and language difficulties ("I want diamonds on the carseat!"), this dress turned out okay.

It's a little too wrinkly for presentation and that bodice doesn't look as well-fitted as it should be and yeah, it's a pretty standard wedding dress, but he made the "diamonds" work without being tacky and overall, the effect is pretty.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Best of the Rest

What is it with all the retro stuff this week? True, Banana Republic did have a "Grandma's attic" story to sell, but the designers went a little overboard.

It's pretty. The top and the neckline look great. Delicate and feminine, which definitely seems to be Alexandra's thing. Downside: it's a little too nightgown-y and once again, these all-one-color dresses tend to get a little boring. And that hem looks a mess.

Is it us or are the designers overusing the accessories wall this season? It's a chic, pretty dress and that hat does nothing for it. In fact, it takes away from it.

Kevin's aesthetic is pretty hard to pin down and this is coming from someone who's seen everything he made this season. This is sort of "classic with a twist" but then some of his other designs have been as out-there as anything Jay or even Jeffrey made.

Love the skirt, love the trim, hate the flower, but then again, we're pretty biased against them. We can't stand grown women wearing bows or flowers unless it's done with real subtlety. This is not subtle and it really works against the dress, which is all urban sophistication. It really doesn't need that Daisy Mae touch.

This was clearly not a Banana Republic dress, but props to Nora, because we really liked this one. Could've done without the neck brace, though.

Not crazy about that sash, but we loved the fabric choice and the asymmetrical pleating. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE MINNIE MOUSE GLOVES.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Arrivederci, Mario!

Pfft. Girl, please.

If there's one thing we can't stand in fashion, it's literalism. It's one thing to use fashion to evoke, say...violence or murder or envy. It's quite another to literally make the model look like a murder victim. It's pedantic and demonstrates a lack of imagination or interpretive skills.

Looks like they ran down to the 99-cent "Beauty Store" on the corner and bought that clip-on. Or maybe they got it from a Halloween shop. It does sort of have an "Elvira" vibe to it. Were there any fags doing the styling at all? Because that's not even close to her hair color and no self-respecting hairmo would ever let that happen.

Oh, honey. A word of advice: we watched this with a gaggle of gays and every one of us groaned and "No she didn't" 'd at this one.

Mario dear, once you lose the gays, it's all over.

And we can't help noticing you have a prepubescent fascination with giving the finger. Although you do clean up nicely, we have to say, even if you kinda look like The Little Drummer Boy.

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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S1/E1: Congratulations Austin!

Darling, Mother Nature may not have cooperated, but this design was clearly a winner, shriveled up or not. Over 2 years later and PR fans still talk about the cornhusk dress. Bravo!

It's been so long so since we've watched this episode that we weren't even sure until the end if he was the winner. One thing that struck us is just how charming Austin was when he first appeared on the scene. Not that he isn't charming now, but he was a breath of fresh air and a flag-bearer for sissy boys everywhere. You go, you stylish girl!


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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