Stylista, Bitches!

Just like every single person involved with this show, we have absolutely no idea what we're doing, but we're just going to wing it anyway. Darlings, what a delicious trainwreck that was.


First off, let's give a hand to Ann "I'm trying WAY too hard" Slowey!


From the awkward posing...


...to the utterly bizarre clenched-teeth delivery, Ann promises to be a veritable garden of bad reality television entertainment. Two things we can say with near-certainty:

a) That's not her office
b) She doesn't dress like that to go to work
c) She's a prime candidate for a high colonic

Okay, that was three things.


Tell the only African-American girl in the room that she looks like a waitress, Ann! You're brilliant, darling! Why not just call her a maid? Did the producers have an unexpected attack of good taste?


Special attention must also be paid to Joe "You should have fun with your clothes and that's why I'm dressed like a Secret Service agent" Zee! Fabulous hypocrisy! Totally arbitrary judgments!



And let's put our hands together for Mega-Bitch Megan! For someone who looks like a young Liza Minelli, she sure thinks awfully highly of herself, doesn't she, Kittens?


Especially since she can't even remember the particulars of the simplest editorial assignment. But, she's happy to be using her brain, "for once."

Let's plot her downfall, shall we?



Also, Boobs! Boobs that can cry on command! We smell Emmy, darlings!


People that show up for work fresh from Clown College! Fantastic! Juggle something for us, Brit Boy!


Sweet overweight girl who spends all her time worrying that people might notice she's overweight! Cable Ace Award, darlings! Guaranteed!


Although we have to admit, if we're rooting for anyone it's Ashlie. She's fucking fabulous. Plus, Megan hates her which can only make us love her more.


And that loft is gorgeous. Perfect for late-night crying jags and vase-throwing fights.


Sure, the first two challenges - Buy breakfast! Go shopping at H&M! - are more akin to something a therapist would assign to an agoraphobe, the challenges do get slightly more interesting as the show goes on.


And yes, they've managed to assemble quite the cast of self-involved bitches and sweet, clueless naifs. We look forward to tearing them all to shreds so they and all their friends can post anonymously and call us old and fat.

We have much, much more to say, so watch what hap-- uh... keep watching!


[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]