Stylista: The Claws Are OUT

Man, there is nothing like a bunch of camera-hungry students willing to fuck themselves over for their 15 minutes of fame, is there? We're going to need to retire the term "trainwreck" because we've used it so much to describe this show. For now, we'll go with "clusterfuck," but we're really going to need to come up with something unique.


Boobs.


Crying boobs.

Who sits on the bathroom floor and has a good cry except for maybe Edie Sedgwick on a bender?


We kind of love Cologne but man, that Cactus Flower eye makeup has got to go.


Dyshaun's kind of a snivelling little bitch. We can respect and even root for the in-your-face bitches like Megan, but everything he does is behind someone's back.

And speaking of which...



DEE-FUCKING-LICIOUS.



These two alpha bitches spent the entire episode peeing in a circle, marking their territory. We hope for nothing so much as an entire season of Alexis and Dominique here ripping each other's eyeballs out.


Here's the thing: Megabitch Megan...well, we're actually starting to root for her just a tiny bit. Like we said, she puts it all the hell out there and we imagine if you were to walk up to her and say "Wow, you're kind of a bitch," she'd look at you blankly for a full minute and then say "Yeah...AND?"


Ashlie, on the other hand, is convinced of her moral superiority and we'd rather she just came out and said "I fucking hate her because she's the main thing standing between me and the big prize," instead of wrapping it up in a lot of "I'm doing this because she's EEEVIL."

Wow. That was a lot of unneeded analysis about two bitches fighting in an alleyway.


We love when young people on a reality show think that "calling a meeting to yell at each other about how much we hate each other" is somehow going to be productive.

And honey?

WHAT the fuck are you WEARING? It's like Smurfette joined Mummenschanz.

Now.

Let's talk about this one.


He seems like a sweet kid, but what the fuck is someone like that doing on a reality show? And why does an "aspiring designer" not know the most basic fashion terms?


It was like he planned to have a panic attack.


"I need to talk to you guys because tomorrow I plan on collapsing into a pile of tears. Oh, and I may stop breathing for a while, okay? Don't block the camera."


Seriously, this was embarrassing.


It's not as if the show will ever have a lot of credibility but it's at least to their credit that they sent him home because not eliminating someone who can't even handle a basic grunt editorial assignment would have been a joke.

Well. More of a joke.

[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]