M.I.A. in Manish Arora Spring 2009
M.I.A. in House of Holland Spring 2009
Such a demure young lady, basking in the glow of impending motherhood.
To be perfectly blunt (and a little serious) when we see celebrities that dress like this, our only thought is "Her self esteem must be in the toilet." Seriously. There's no way she chose those outfits because she thought they made her look good. She chose them for the exact opposite reason. They make her look so bad that she's guaranteed a lot of attention.
In high school, girls with low self esteem dressed like sluts to get attention. Since this is the entertainment industry, where almost every girl dresses like a slut at some point in her career, clown clothes are the only option left.
EDIT FOR THE COMPREHENSION-IMPAIRED: We are NOT saying she looks like a slut.
Carrie Underwood in Pamella Roland Spring 2009
We don't know what it is about this dress. Intellectually, we know we're supposed to hate it and say that it looks like Barbie clothes, but there's something fun and retro and eye-catching about it. Like drag queen clothes. It's way too short, though.
And a little pedi on those claws would've gone a long way, honey.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Versace Spring 2009
It pains us to say this but the dress is pretty cute.
Jesus, girl. VO5 Hot Oil Treatment, pronto. And maybe a little styling product might have been a good idea.
Jennifer Hudson Roland Mouret Resort 2009
She gave such an outstanding performance the other night and she's had such a heartbreaker of a year that we can't do the bitchpants bit on her. Even we are not that cold. Suffice it to say that this dress...how to put this...this dress would not have been the dress we would have chosen for her had we been asked. There.
Oh, and we love the shoes.
Katy Perry in Jenny Packham Spring 2009
She gets a lot of flack (and rightfully so) for the crap she wears in public, but honestly, we don't hate this dress. It's just fun and youthful and a little silly mixed with a little sexy. With the hair and makeup she looks like a chorus girl in a '30s musical. She should've sung "Shuffle Off to Buffalo" the other night to complete the look.
Is there Prozac in our coffee this morning? Why are we being so nice?
Kim Kardashian in Toni Maticevski Spring 2009
Try and tell us that she doesn't look like she's modeling in some stunt fashion show sponsored by Charmin.
LeAnn Rimes in Philosophy by Alberta Ferretti Spring 2009
Hmmm. It almost works. There's something off about the proportions though. We can't help thinking if the skirt was a little longer and a little tighter, she really could have had something. We really like the top and kinda like the belt, but the skirt just isn't working, both the color and the shape. It doesn't help that it's a wrinkled mess.
Why do so many of these women, who each have more money than all of us put together, have hair that looks like they styled it in a carwash?
Taylor Swift in Colette Dinnigan Spring 2009
We don't hate it, but we're not crazy about it. It looks like someone took a razor to it. We like to picture the scene: a stressed out, high-pitched, 98 lb. stylist fearing for his life as she shrieks "YOU WANT ME TO WEAR THIS SHIT?!!" while drunkenly brandishing a straight razor and stumbling over the empty bottles strewn all over her bedroom floor, last night's mascara making tracks down her cheeks like dirty rainwater trickling in a gutter.
Fabulous.
[Photos: WireImage/Getty Images/ Style.com/NYmag.com]
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