First Look: The Austin and Santino Show

Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue.

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NEWSFLASH: Everyone on Project Runway Gets Their Own Show!

Okay, maybe not EVERYONE.

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All-Star Santino

It's Labor Day! No one's reading blogs! What better time to finally get to this attention whore?

As you may or may not know, the day after the All-Star special aired, we mentioned in passing that Santino's "performance" was lame and embarassing. This led to quite the little hissy fit on his twitter feed and he said, among other things, that we "don't get it and we never will," a phrase more appropriate for a 4th grade schoolyard taunt.

The thing is, we DO get it. We're not talking Joyce's Ulysses here. We're talking about reality television and the types of personalities that are drawn to it time and time again. Santino's just one in a long line of hundreds of people who do these shows because they think it will lead to something bigger down the line. He spends more time appearing on television than he does actually producing anything in the way of fashion so we don't think we're going out on a limb here when we say he acted like a jackass deliberately. He couldn't have cared less about the prize money. The whole thing was an audition for him.

And to be honest, we have no problem with that. Play the game if you wanna. Believe it or not, we enjoyed the hell out of Santino in season 2. Sure, he was obnoxious, but he was also incredibly entertaining. The problem this time? It was like watching The Monkees reunite for a world tour in 1989. The time has passed and what we're left with is someone trying WAY too hard to recapture the past by recycling their old hits. It was, as we said, embarrassing.

Okay, we got that off our chests. Now let's look at the clothes.

We like it.

Honestly, we do. It's not exactly groundbreaking but we can see a Hollywood starlet wearing this out for a night on the town and posing for paparazzi.

We could do without the fringe and there was (no surprise) some technical issues, but it's not a bad look overall.

Awful.

There wasn't just a taste issue here. This goes beyond simple taste issues. DVF nailed it when she said it was "vulgar."

Again, we could see some starlet wearing this but we can also see it showing up on a million Worst Dressed lists within a week. A shame, because the bust is actually kind of interesting. But the tightness in the crotch along with the tacky fabric choice ruined whatever it had going for it.

Believe it or not, we REALLY like this look, which he made from the restaurant materials.

It's unique and yet still trendy and it looks expensive, which is odd, because Santino rarely makes things that look expensive.

It's very much in that Hollywood starlet mode that he does well. If he paid more attention to his fashion and less on landing a television show, he could really build himself a healthy clientele.

See, this is why it's so obvious that he wasn't there to win anything. It's like there was no thought whatsoever put into this look.

Except for a little interest around the bust, it's as basic as basic gets. It looks like something Ginger Grant would have packed along with the thousand other dresses she took on that three-hour tour.

And it was rendered in that same cheap and tacky looking fabric.

There. We're done. Good luck on your television career, Santino. We'll watch Ru Paul's Drag Race no matter who's on the judging panel but we've got to say, if you ever get your own show, and if you're anything like the attention-starved child you were on THIS show, we'll probably tune out. You were more fun when you weren't trying so hard.



[Photo: David Russell/myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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Project Runway's Most Dramatic Moments, S2, Part 1

Season 2, Bitches! Hit it!

1) Little Lamb Meltdown-Gate

It's what always happens with reality shows post-inaugural season. The participants become all too aware of the cameras and the drama becomes slightly more contrived. Gone are the days when Wendy and Kara Saun would bare their ids for the world to see, caring not for how they looked or came across. Instead, we get crocodile tears and literal "boo-hoo"ing.

Long story short: In the second episode of the new season, the designers had to literally make something out of the clothes off their backs. Andrae, due almost entirely to his inability to adjust to the insane deadlines of Project Runway, sent an unfinished dress down the runway and tried to cover for it by acting like a silent film star in a weepy melodrama.

"What were you thinking about this challenge?"

"Where to begin? The first thing said to us at the party was blah blah blah...[Insert British accent here] how far you would go for fashion...blah blah blah...and it's not an easy thing to do. I've come a long way, I've gone far to be here blah blah blah..."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry...and the means to do it was creativity and innovation which are things that I do well, I think I'm very creative and I think I'm very innovative as well, and I was very lucky because what I had to work with was a testimony of the first or maybe the last three years of my career."


"I was bedraggled emotionally so were my clothes. I'm not supposed to be crying, Jesus!"

Jesus Christ, he actually described himself as "bedraggled." What's next? Ragamuffin? And no, little lamb. You're not supposed to be crying. We always felt that this little show was just that - a show. Tim said as much at the time too. Granted, we don't think it was entirely a put on. That would require a Best Actress Nominee level of acting talent. It seems to us that he probably was pretty emotionally raw but turned the dials up to 11 because he felt trapped and didn't know what else to do.

There were two things that raised this to the level of delicious drama instead of eye-rollingly bad drama. One, the "I'm So LA" t-shirt, which could NOT have been more apropos, and two:

You just can't buy that kind of entertainment, kittens.

2) Lingerie-Gate

Ladies and ...Ladies, we have quite the championship bout for you this evening, with two fighters ready to tear a piece off each other! In this corner, wearing a sparkly Members Only jacket, that gigantic attention-seeking designer...

SANTINO RICE!

And in this corner, wearing her patented chunky jewelry and JBF hair, that take-no-shit fashion editor who WASN'T portrayed by Meryl Streep...

NINA GARCIA!

To offer assistance to our combatants, we have ...

two terrified designers...

and three mortified models!

Honestly, do we really need to give you a rundown on this one? Is there a fan of Project Runway who DOESN'T know the particulars of this little throwdown?

If you polled PR fans to name the top 3 most entertaining moments in the history of the show, we're confident that this one would make almost everyone's list. Sure, it was as calculated as Andrae's little meltdown, but because Santino is Santino and because Nina is Nina, this was far, FAR more entertaining. All we can think re-watching this is that the producers must have been peeing their pants with joy while the whole thing unwound in front of them. Pure reality television gold.

PLUS, it allowed Nina to deliver the line that pretty much defines her entire tenure on the show:

"IT'S AESTHETICALLY NOT PLEASING!"

It was generally thought that Santino was being terribly disrespectful to her but honestly, we don't think so anymore.

Re-watching it, we can see that BOTH of them were really enjoying the back and forth on this one and both of them respected the other for their willingness to fight it out.


Even if...

...neither of them would ever admit it.

We can just picture the two of them sharing a cigarette in the post-drama glow.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Project Runway: All-Star Sneak Peek

They don't offer much in the way of spoilers, but for the PR-starved, they're certainly fun to look at.

You can see more pictures of the Project Runway All-Star Challenge here. Let the speculation begin!



[Photos: myLifetime.com]


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Project Runway All-Stars, poodles!

Fun idea or overkill?

Lifetime is airing a Project Runway All-Stars Special on August 20th. It's going to be a 2-hour special before the premiere of season six.

And here are the designers:
Chris March - Season 4
Daniel Vosovic - Season 2
Jeffrey Sebelia - Season 3
Korto Momolu - Season 5
Mychael Knight - Season 3
Santino Rice - Season 2
Sweet P - Season 4
Uli Herzner - Season 3

We're coming down on the side of "fun idea." It's only a special, after all. Besides, we get to see some old favorites like Uli and Chris March and Daniel V. and Michael Knight again. Jeffrey and Santino occupying the same space at the same time? The world may never recover.

What amuses us to no end is that at least 4 PR alums called us over the past year to ask whether we thought it was a good idea to do it. Opinions varied, but none of the people who called us wound up doing the show. When we started this blog three years ago (Today! Happy Birthday, us!) we never would have imagined that any of the designers would be looking to us for advice. Power, bitches. The world is lucky that we wield it so responsibly.

Anyway, what do we think of this? And what's the format going to be? Multiple challenges? Let the opinionated speculation begin!


From myLiftime.com:
"Get ready for a fashion face-off on the runway like you’ve never seen before! Eight of your favorite designers from past seasons of "Project Runway" will go head-to-head in the workroom in a two-hour special "Project Runway: All-Star Challenge," airing on Thursday, August 20 at 8 pm et/pt.

The competition will be fierce, as almost all of these designers made it to Fashion Week during their seasons, and one stole the whole show. Plus, these designers won’t just be sketching for glory — they’ll have a shot at taking home a $100,000 cash prize too. It’s also their opportunity to show Heidi Klum, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia what kind of lines they can create ... the three judges will be on the sidelines, ready to critique every last stitch. The good news for the designers is they’ll have mentor Tim Gunn by their side in the workroom to help keep them from committing any fashion faux pas."

[Photos: Getty Images/myLifetime.com]


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The TWENTY Worst Project Runway Looks of All Time - Part 4

Alright, ladies. This is it. Our Top 5 Worst Looks of All Time. The cream of the crap, if you will. We debated about doing an honorable mention list but honestly, aren't 20 entries enough for you bitches? There's gonna be a lot of "I can't believe you didn't include x!" Honeys, you try and come up with a list like this. Our eyeballs are going to be hurting for weeks.

Number 5

Season 2 - Episode 3: "All Dolled Up"
Designer: Raymundo Baltazar

The dress that inspired one of the Duchess's all time great bitchslaps, "barefoot Appalachian Barbie." And damn that little orange bitch, but we really can't come up with anything better than that. Sometimes you just have to bow to the master. Raymundo told the judges he designed this Barbie dress for little girls inspired by their mothers. After his auf'ing, his own mother slapped him silly.

Number 4

Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Starr Ilzhoefer

It's Princess Mental Patient of Sanitaria!

Starr truly was amazing. She took an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum and...made her model look like she was wearing an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum. How very post-modern and meta-textual of her.

Granted, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame the designers for not really understanding what was expected of them, but it's truly mind-boggling that anyone would send THIS to be judged in front of a panel of fashion experts.

Number 3

Season 2 - Episode 4: "Team Lingerie"
Designer: Santino Rice

Give it UP, bitches, for one of the all-time great memorable moments from the show! Strangely, even though Santino claimed this lingerie collection was inspired by Heidi, it was Nina who practically leapt out of her chair to claw at his face in fury on behalf of women everywhere. Their heated exchange (while team mates Nick and Emmett bowed their heads and averted their eyes in the hopes that the judges wouldn't notice them) gave viewers the Nina-ism to end all Nina-isms: "It's aesthetically NOT PLEASING!"

Number 2

Season 5 - Episode 9: "What's Your Sign?"
Designer: Blayne Walsh

We were rendered pretty much speechless when it came time to recap this look and frankly, we still are. This goes without saying, since it's the number 2 look on the list, but this was one of the ugliest things we'd ever seen on the show. Scratch that. It WAS the ugliest thing we'd ever seen on the show. The only reason it didn't take the top spot is...well, why don't we look at the top spot to explain, yes?

Drumroll please...


Number 1




Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Wendy Pepper

Here's what: Blayne's clown tumor costume was the ugliest thing we'd ever seen, but there was at least some work put into it. Quite a bit, probably. This thing, on the other hand, was nothing but supermarket crap that Wendy Pepper glued onto her poor model. Like we said, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame people if they were flailing about trying to figure out what was required of them but they knew they were in a fashion competition. She should have at least figured out that meant she was supposed to make an actual outfit. Instead, she decorated her model like the table at a kid's birthday party and hoped for the best. Lucky for her that the judges could smell her crazy coming from a mile away and kept her in for the entertainment value.

*********

That's it! We're done! We can't look at another ugly dress again. We've ruined ourselves for you. Are you happy now?


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Nina Chica!

One thing upon which we all can agree, this stupid blog just doesn't have enough Nina.

In the latest issue of Elle Magazine (sorry darlings, the article's not online), La Fabulista offers her thoughts on the success of Project Runway and reveals some of her favorite looks and designers from seasons past. Here are some snippets you can all rip to shreds discuss calmly.


"Looking back on season one, I am amazed at how the show - from the contestants who have participated to the roster of designers who are currently competing - has evolved and impacted the fashion industry and the way it has inspired young talent."

"Getting to know the contestants from day one, seeing how they evolve and muster the perseverance to make it to New York Fashion Week to realize their dreams, is the most rewarding thing about being involved in the show."

"Some of my favorites didn't actually win."

Austin Scarlett and his cornhusk dress:

"His personal style and features remind me of a young Yves Saint Laurent."

"Austin really stood out among the other designers because he had such a clear design aesthetic."

Mychael Knight and his coffee filter dress:

"Michael had a better understanding of the challenges presented than anyone else."

"No matter how outrageous the challenge, like designing a dress out of supermarket finds, he approached each one with a sense of practicality and was able to articulate his vision eloquently."

Daniel Vosovic and his "garden party" dress (are we sensing a theme here?):

"When I first met Daniel Vosovic in season two, he had the presence of a designer."

"He was handsome, talented and bright beyond his 24 years - the total package."

"He had a clean style that developed throughout the competition."

Laura Bennett and her garbage dress (clearly, Nina hates fabric):

"Laura Bennett never ceased to impress me. Like Austin, Laura had a very distinct point of view and, in a way, was her own muse."

"Always chic, sophisticated, and collected in the most stressful situations."

"Laura was consistently able to create a signature look."

Santino Rice and his Nicky Hilton dress:

*chirping crickets*

We looked and we looked and we could find not one word about Santino anywhere in the article. The dress appears under her favorites, but she didn't say anything about him. She still fears for her life, poor thing.

She also offered this little observation:

"As Project Runway has evolved, so have its contestants. What started out as a platform for budding talents to gain recognition has evolved into a show that attracts established designers who already run successful businesses, have worked for legendary designers, or have done costumes for television and movies. The new contestants are testaments to the very awareness that Project Runway has provoked."

She talks about that like it's a good thing.

[Photos: Bravotv.com]