The TWENTY Worst Project Runway Looks of All Time - Part 4

Alright, ladies. This is it. Our Top 5 Worst Looks of All Time. The cream of the crap, if you will. We debated about doing an honorable mention list but honestly, aren't 20 entries enough for you bitches? There's gonna be a lot of "I can't believe you didn't include x!" Honeys, you try and come up with a list like this. Our eyeballs are going to be hurting for weeks.

Number 5

Season 2 - Episode 3: "All Dolled Up"
Designer: Raymundo Baltazar

The dress that inspired one of the Duchess's all time great bitchslaps, "barefoot Appalachian Barbie." And damn that little orange bitch, but we really can't come up with anything better than that. Sometimes you just have to bow to the master. Raymundo told the judges he designed this Barbie dress for little girls inspired by their mothers. After his auf'ing, his own mother slapped him silly.

Number 4

Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Starr Ilzhoefer

It's Princess Mental Patient of Sanitaria!

Starr truly was amazing. She took an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum and...made her model look like she was wearing an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum. How very post-modern and meta-textual of her.

Granted, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame the designers for not really understanding what was expected of them, but it's truly mind-boggling that anyone would send THIS to be judged in front of a panel of fashion experts.

Number 3

Season 2 - Episode 4: "Team Lingerie"
Designer: Santino Rice

Give it UP, bitches, for one of the all-time great memorable moments from the show! Strangely, even though Santino claimed this lingerie collection was inspired by Heidi, it was Nina who practically leapt out of her chair to claw at his face in fury on behalf of women everywhere. Their heated exchange (while team mates Nick and Emmett bowed their heads and averted their eyes in the hopes that the judges wouldn't notice them) gave viewers the Nina-ism to end all Nina-isms: "It's aesthetically NOT PLEASING!"

Number 2

Season 5 - Episode 9: "What's Your Sign?"
Designer: Blayne Walsh

We were rendered pretty much speechless when it came time to recap this look and frankly, we still are. This goes without saying, since it's the number 2 look on the list, but this was one of the ugliest things we'd ever seen on the show. Scratch that. It WAS the ugliest thing we'd ever seen on the show. The only reason it didn't take the top spot is...well, why don't we look at the top spot to explain, yes?

Drumroll please...


Number 1




Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Wendy Pepper

Here's what: Blayne's clown tumor costume was the ugliest thing we'd ever seen, but there was at least some work put into it. Quite a bit, probably. This thing, on the other hand, was nothing but supermarket crap that Wendy Pepper glued onto her poor model. Like we said, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame people if they were flailing about trying to figure out what was required of them but they knew they were in a fashion competition. She should have at least figured out that meant she was supposed to make an actual outfit. Instead, she decorated her model like the table at a kid's birthday party and hoped for the best. Lucky for her that the judges could smell her crazy coming from a mile away and kept her in for the entertainment value.

*********

That's it! We're done! We can't look at another ugly dress again. We've ruined ourselves for you. Are you happy now?


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

The 20 Worst PR Looks of All Time - Part 3

Number 10

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Zulema Griffin

Many of the looks in this list are here because the designer either had a momentary brain fart or they don't work well in reality television or maybe because they're just not a very good designer. This horrific ass-exposing mess from S2's Zulema doesn't really fit any of those criteria. We still maintain that if she could have just figured out how to utilize her time and materials better, this wouldn't have been all that offensive.

Oh, why the hell are we being so nice? It's AWFUL.

Number 9

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Guadalupe Vidal

It's LUPE! LUPE'S back, everybody! Hi LUPE!

Honestly, at this point we feel the need to remind you to take the rankings with a grain of salt because even we look at this one and go "Why isn't this at the top of the list?" Even if we didn't deem this one the worst of the worst, it HAS to go down as one of, if not THE most ridiculous outfits seen on the show. It's like a spastic party favor of some sort. Actually. that's not a dress; it's a walking tutorial on sewing techniques.

Number 8

Season 1 - Episode 2: "Vision"
Designer: Starr Ilzhoefer

Ahh, the "tumor" dress. Who doesn't have fond memories of this one? Tasked with designing something that illustrates her vision, S1's Starr instead decided to send down a sartorial anatomy lesson. Who in their right mind thinks of tumors when they're designing a dress?

Number 7

Season 3 - Episode 6: "Waste Not, Want Not"
Designer: Kayne Gillaspie

S3's Kaynebow was a fan favorite and with good reason. When he was on, he was entertaining and creative and talented but when he crashed and burned, honeys, it was epic. What moves this out of the realm of pure tragedy and into high comedy is the little bow tied around her neck. It's like putting a cherry on top of a shitpile and calling it a sundae.

Number 6

Season 3 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Vincent Libretti

We were watching some S3 last night and it really struck us just how crazy and delusional Vincent really was. How could we ever have forgotten? In his very first appearance on the show he put a basket on his model's head and acted like he just invented couture.

If we ever do a list of Top Ten Most Pissed Off Models, Lindsay here is gonna top the list. She looks like she wants to cut the first person who says something to her.


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Unlucky Starr

Oy.

The judges did a fine job of pointing out just what was wrong with this one, the most glaring problem being that it was clearly not in the Banana Republic style.

That, and it was ugly.

Here's the thing: a dress like this, it's not for everyone but we can definitely see it appealing to a certain kind of woman. Starr works that whole "harlequin" thing and it's clearly an aesthetic that appeals to her and she feels very strongly about. In a case like that, it would seem wrong to beat that out of her in service to a career in fashion. Better for her if she keeps her line small, maybe open her own boutique. As far as we know, she's still in North Carolina, and we can just see a certain type of eccentric Southern woman with money to burn and a passion for expressing herself loving her clothes. For more on what she's been up to since the show, go here.

Having said all that...

Holy cow was that the most dramatic exit the show's ever seen?

We kept waiting for them to put her in a boat, set it on fire and watch her drift down the Hudson.

And she damn near had to be pried off that runway.

"Starr, honey? Seriously, you have to go."

"I mean it. They're going to turn the lights off soon. Now, pull yourself together and get off the runway. I don't want to have to pay the crew overtime."

"Thank you.

Christ."

Thankfully, the gigantic healing hands of Austin were there to soothe the pain.

PEOPLE! SHE'S NOT DYING!


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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It's benign, but we're not.

In the Project Runway Hall of Shame, the "tumor dress" has a place of honor. Again, this is one of those designs that, two years later, PR fans still talk about.

To be honest, we're of two minds about this one. First off, the challenge was a bit of a shell game. The designers were given a challenge that could only yield purely conceptual results and after the designs were completed they were told that they needed to go out and sell them.

"Envy" is a design concept that would naturally lead to conceptual pieces that were less than pretty. We really can't fault Starr for her concept, although it did provide hilarity in the facial expressions of the people to whom she tried to explain it:

Incidentally, that 30 Van Dam guy is a cutie but is it politically incorrect to point out that we could barely understand him without subtitles?

So no, we don't hate the concept of a tumor dress to evoke envy. And even though the color scheme looks like a Christmas decoration circa 1968, we don't even fault her for that, considering she had to hand-dye the fabric on an extremely tight schedule.

What's wrong about the dress is exactly the same as what was wrong about Mario's this week: literalism. "Envy is a tumor that eats away at you." Okay, fine. Very poetic. That does NOT mean that you LITERALLY attach big red tumors to the dress in order to make your point. Starr, what were you thinking? No, the concept doesn't lend itself to "pretty," but at some point, she needed to step back and realize that she inadvertently forged head on into "grotesque."

With this week's and last week's challenges, it's obvious that the one thing Starr needs more than anything, is to cultivate the ability to edit herself. Three words, girl: Tone. It. Down.

Then again, what can you say about someone who goes around wearing a "strawberry ovaries" apron?



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Lucky Starr

Is it us or does she look like a children's book character?

"Hello, children! Hello! My name is Bumble Bea and I'm here to take you through the magic land of the sugar plum fairies on the way to Santa's Village! Hold hands now - stop crying - hold hands and follow me!

Stop crying!"

In the immortal words of Tim, "Oh, Jesus." She is damn lucky she sent that down the runway on the very first challenge while the judges were in a forgiving mood, because that? Holy shit. Her model looks about ready to take her behind the runway and beat her to within an inch of her life.

"Haha! Shit, girl. I might look like a UPS package, but you look like an explosion in a Hallmark store."

"I'm gonna fucking kill this skinny little bitch."

*meep!*

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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