The TWENTY Worst Project Runway Looks of All Time - Part 4

Alright, ladies. This is it. Our Top 5 Worst Looks of All Time. The cream of the crap, if you will. We debated about doing an honorable mention list but honestly, aren't 20 entries enough for you bitches? There's gonna be a lot of "I can't believe you didn't include x!" Honeys, you try and come up with a list like this. Our eyeballs are going to be hurting for weeks.

Number 5

Season 2 - Episode 3: "All Dolled Up"
Designer: Raymundo Baltazar

The dress that inspired one of the Duchess's all time great bitchslaps, "barefoot Appalachian Barbie." And damn that little orange bitch, but we really can't come up with anything better than that. Sometimes you just have to bow to the master. Raymundo told the judges he designed this Barbie dress for little girls inspired by their mothers. After his auf'ing, his own mother slapped him silly.

Number 4

Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Starr Ilzhoefer

It's Princess Mental Patient of Sanitaria!

Starr truly was amazing. She took an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum and...made her model look like she was wearing an ironing board cover, some wrapping paper and some bubblegum. How very post-modern and meta-textual of her.

Granted, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame the designers for not really understanding what was expected of them, but it's truly mind-boggling that anyone would send THIS to be judged in front of a panel of fashion experts.

Number 3

Season 2 - Episode 4: "Team Lingerie"
Designer: Santino Rice

Give it UP, bitches, for one of the all-time great memorable moments from the show! Strangely, even though Santino claimed this lingerie collection was inspired by Heidi, it was Nina who practically leapt out of her chair to claw at his face in fury on behalf of women everywhere. Their heated exchange (while team mates Nick and Emmett bowed their heads and averted their eyes in the hopes that the judges wouldn't notice them) gave viewers the Nina-ism to end all Nina-isms: "It's aesthetically NOT PLEASING!"

Number 2

Season 5 - Episode 9: "What's Your Sign?"
Designer: Blayne Walsh

We were rendered pretty much speechless when it came time to recap this look and frankly, we still are. This goes without saying, since it's the number 2 look on the list, but this was one of the ugliest things we'd ever seen on the show. Scratch that. It WAS the ugliest thing we'd ever seen on the show. The only reason it didn't take the top spot is...well, why don't we look at the top spot to explain, yes?

Drumroll please...


Number 1




Season 1 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Wendy Pepper

Here's what: Blayne's clown tumor costume was the ugliest thing we'd ever seen, but there was at least some work put into it. Quite a bit, probably. This thing, on the other hand, was nothing but supermarket crap that Wendy Pepper glued onto her poor model. Like we said, this was the first episode ever and we don't blame people if they were flailing about trying to figure out what was required of them but they knew they were in a fashion competition. She should have at least figured out that meant she was supposed to make an actual outfit. Instead, she decorated her model like the table at a kid's birthday party and hoped for the best. Lucky for her that the judges could smell her crazy coming from a mile away and kept her in for the entertainment value.

*********

That's it! We're done! We can't look at another ugly dress again. We've ruined ourselves for you. Are you happy now?


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

The 20 Worst PR Looks of All Time - Part 3

Number 10

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Zulema Griffin

Many of the looks in this list are here because the designer either had a momentary brain fart or they don't work well in reality television or maybe because they're just not a very good designer. This horrific ass-exposing mess from S2's Zulema doesn't really fit any of those criteria. We still maintain that if she could have just figured out how to utilize her time and materials better, this wouldn't have been all that offensive.

Oh, why the hell are we being so nice? It's AWFUL.

Number 9

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Guadalupe Vidal

It's LUPE! LUPE'S back, everybody! Hi LUPE!

Honestly, at this point we feel the need to remind you to take the rankings with a grain of salt because even we look at this one and go "Why isn't this at the top of the list?" Even if we didn't deem this one the worst of the worst, it HAS to go down as one of, if not THE most ridiculous outfits seen on the show. It's like a spastic party favor of some sort. Actually. that's not a dress; it's a walking tutorial on sewing techniques.

Number 8

Season 1 - Episode 2: "Vision"
Designer: Starr Ilzhoefer

Ahh, the "tumor" dress. Who doesn't have fond memories of this one? Tasked with designing something that illustrates her vision, S1's Starr instead decided to send down a sartorial anatomy lesson. Who in their right mind thinks of tumors when they're designing a dress?

Number 7

Season 3 - Episode 6: "Waste Not, Want Not"
Designer: Kayne Gillaspie

S3's Kaynebow was a fan favorite and with good reason. When he was on, he was entertaining and creative and talented but when he crashed and burned, honeys, it was epic. What moves this out of the realm of pure tragedy and into high comedy is the little bow tied around her neck. It's like putting a cherry on top of a shitpile and calling it a sundae.

Number 6

Season 3 - Episode 1: "Innovation"
Designer: Vincent Libretti

We were watching some S3 last night and it really struck us just how crazy and delusional Vincent really was. How could we ever have forgotten? In his very first appearance on the show he put a basket on his model's head and acted like he just invented couture.

If we ever do a list of Top Ten Most Pissed Off Models, Lindsay here is gonna top the list. She looks like she wants to cut the first person who says something to her.


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

The 20 Worst PR Looks of All Time - Part 2

Darlings, we are sick as dogs, but we're discreetly slipping out of our sick pants to momentarily put on our bitchpants. We do it for the love.

Number 15

Season 1 - Episode 5: "Model Clients"
Designer: Austin Scarlett

The irony of this story (the twist, if you will), is that after Season 1 diva and Original Princess Austin Scarlett sent this horrific, fabric-shitting thing down the runway and called it a wedding gown, he recovered from his momentary lack of taste and went on to be hired by Amsale as Head Designer for Kenneth Pool Bridal.

Number 14

Season 3 - Episode 3: "Designer's Best Friend"
Designer: Angela Keslar

JUBILEE MOTHERFUCKING JUMBLES is in the HOUSE, y'all! Oh, how we MISSED Jubilee Jumbles! We wonder if Jubilee Jumbles still works with children dressed like a slutty clown?

Number 13

Season 5 - Episode 1: "Let's Start from the Beginning"
Designer: Blayne Walsh

Sometimes, you just gotta go with what works. We refer to our original declaration regarding this look: "There's a giant cotton centipede crawling out of her lady area." Once you point out the elephant in the room, there's really no need for any further dissection or criticism.

Number 12

Season 4 - Episode 2: "I Started Crying"
Designer: Marion Lee

Forgive us, but we're once again going to have to refer to our original impression: "If clothing could cry, this is what it would look like." Somehow, scrappy boy designer Marion Lee sent this post-apocalyptic, sad Pocahontas-looking piece of poo down the runway in his entry for Sarah Jessica Parker's line of disposable clothing, Bitten. Unsurprisingly, everyone burst into tears at the sight of it.

Number 11

Season 5 - Episode 1: "Let's Start from the Beginning"
Designer: Jerry Tam

All of you would probably agree that Jerry Tam was a brief figment of your imagination, but we checked and he really exists! It's true! Not only that, he really did send this provocative serial killer/nurse/nun melange down the runway in his one and only appearance on Project Runway! Thanks to his memorable use of shower curtains and dishwashing gloves, Gristedes is where ALL the stylish New York girls who engage in ritualistic murder like to shop!



[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

The 20 Worst PR Looks of All Time

You heard us. Twenty. Because there was no way in hell we could have narrowed it down to just ten. We tried, kittens, but it was far too Herculean a task for two l'il ol' bloggers like us.

Besides, we get to wring more posts out of it.

Except for the Top 5, you're going to have to take any of the rankings with a grain of salt. There was such a hairbreadth's difference in awfulness between some of these looks that we practically had to flip a coin to decide what goes where. And unlike the Top Ten lists, where we actively tried to represent a range of designers instead of having the same designer appear 5 times, this time we said "Screw it. If they're bad enough to appear on the list more than once, they earned it," so you WILL see some designers make more than one appearance on the list.

Alright! Let's start the crapfest!

Number 20

Season 4 - Episode 1: "Sew Us What You Got"
Designer: Carmen Webber

When Lorenzo showed Tom this picture, he completely blanked on which episode it was from and said "So...what? She had to make it out of garbage? Old clothes? Help me out here." When Lorenzo reminded him that it was from the first episode of Season 4, when they ran through Bryant Park to snag fabric samples, Tom's jaw dropped. "Oh right. She had FREE REIN to do whatever she wanted! And she did that!"

We think that sums it up.

Number 19

Season 2 - Episode 5: "Social Scene"
Designer: Guadalupe Vidal

LUPE! The highlight of Season 2. Oh don't get us wrong, there were your Santinos and Uncle Nicks, and Danny V's, but for us, Season 2 is fondly remembered for its LUPEness. This concoction, desperately offered up to guest judge Nicky Hilton as a cocktail dress, is awesome in its LUPE-osity.

Number 18

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Kirsten Ehrig

We still think this was kind of a shame. Kirsten didn't manage to stay around long, but we had a feeling she was a better designer than she came across on the show. Some people just don't "get" reality TV competitions and what's being asked of them. To her credit, she knew she had a loser with this NASCAR Slut look, badly repurposed (like Frankenstein clothes) from the clothes off her back in S2E2.

Number 17

Season 2 - Episode 2: "Clothes Off Your Back"
Designer: Marla Duran

Two in a row from the same episode! Why it is that two adult women, dressed appropriately, couldn't pull together enough fabric from their own clothes to dress a size zero model without making her look either freezing cold, or slutty? Whoresicles.

Number 16

Season 3 - Episode 5: "Iconic Statement"
Designer: Bradley Baumkirchner

Ah, yes. The moment in Season 3 when every gay man watching rolled his eyes and said, "He's straight." Kittens, he DIDN'T KNOW WHO CHER WAS. Apparently, he got just enough information from his model about the legendary performer to conclude that she buys all her clothes in Walmart's Halloween costume section and offered up this highly flammable result.



[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]