Shear Genius Season 2 - Episode 1

Bitches, did we not tell you that first challenge was gasp-inducing? How fun was this show last night?



Let's go to the tape:

We're not sure if we ever mentioned this last season, but Shear Genius has the best opening credits of any of the reality competition shows. Great music, stylishly shot and beautifully edited (although we miss Danna's dramatic hairflip from last season's credits).

As for the shortcut challenge, we were actually surprised how well the stylists reacted to the whole thing.

"HAHAHA!!!! You're FUCKED, bitches!"

And by that we mean the response was mostly low-key. No one cried? Damn.

We stand by what we said last year: they're either pumping it through the vents or slipping it in the drinks, but those wigstands have GOT to be drugged to sit through shit like this.

"Well, it beats sleeping with a casting director, I guess."

Congrats to Skunky Brewster! Not only did you manage to leave all your client's sensory organs intact...

...but you also managed a relatively decent-looking cut. Emphasis on "relatively." Clearly, they lowered their standards a bit to take the blindfold into consideration because in a different challenge, she'd have been looking at elimination.

And poor Oshun stands alone.

"My name is Oshun and I'm deep."

So, who thinks he's been saying that line for about 20 years? Think it gets him laid?

"Oh, man, it's like, I don't know what I'm doing but I feel...I'm feeling the hair, man."

"HAHA! Should we tell him she looks like she was in an industrial accident, Jaclyn?"

"Wow. You're kind of a bitch, Kim."

"HAHA! I KNOW!"

See? Drugged.

Let's face it, this looks bad, no doubt about it. But is there that much of a difference in quality between this and the winning cut?

As for the Elimination Challenge ...

Fun!

But we have a criticism of the judging. One of the things we liked about S1 is that the judging made sense and it was fair even when they sent Tabatha home. Looks like we've got a bit of an Anne Slowey on our hands with Kelly Atterton. She was all over the place; praising the blue hair Charlie did but criticizing Gail's by saying that "This is something that someone would be absolutely slammed for wearing on the red carpet." Who said anything about red carpet? You mean to tell us that someone walking around with a 3-foot blue beehive isn't going to be slammed?

Hmmph. We've got our eyes on you, bitch.

Anyway, congrats Daniel!

There's a bit of a disconnect with Daniel. He's kind of cute in that nerdy twink way and then he opens up his mouth and sounds like a middle-aged Dallas socialite. Visual: cute blond boy. Audio: Lady Bird Johnson.

We have to say, we were a little shocked that he won it. Oh sure, it's well-executed and it certainly pays homage to the character, but this looks like drag queen hair to us.

Hasta la vista, Oshun.

Mkay, thanks for playing!

Oy, now THIS is a decision we completely agree with. What a DISASTER of a cut. Look at the big grin on her face! Drugged! You show us a woman with that haircut who isn't a drug addict or a mental patient.

Once again, they shock us by sending home the person who would normally, in any other show, be kept on until the end just for the drama. Say what you will about Oshun, he had the potential to be hella entertaining.

Don't you worry, poodles. We have plenty more to say about this episode later in the week.

[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Tomandlorenzo.blogspot.com]


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