Ciao, Vanessa!

"Oh fuck, did I just say that out loud?"

We didn't think she was the one who needed to go, but unfortunately, she didn't seem to be taking the competition as seriously as she could have and that became fairly obvious to the judges when she ran her mouth off on the runway. As team members go, she was among the worst, not for her lack of sewing skills but for her constant second-guessing of the team leader and her overt and too-often-stated dislike for the design.

Oddly enough, it was Wendy of all people who made the best team member, with her "Show me what to do and I'll do it." attitude.

As for the dress itself...

Oh, he just likes to pretend he has boobies.

Honestly? It wasn't the most original idea in the world but it was far more interesting than what Kevin's team produced and it was for the most part well-executed.

The "little girl lost" styling was perhaps a skosh too literal and if they had gone with styling that worked against the dress instead of working with it, it would have created a tension that could have made the whole look more interesting. As lame as Melissa's fauxhawk was, it probably would have worked better with this dress.

Still, it's definitely a look and an appropriately over-the-top one at that.

And as for Austin's leadership skills...

If they judged based on the ability to evoke the heroine of a 19th century novel, he'd have won this one cold. Just out of frame, turbaned Nubian manservants are fanning him with ostrich feathers to alleviate his grief.

Or maybe that's just in his head.

"...in fields of silk and taffetta. The sun will always shine over you and you will spend eternity making pretty dresses together. Now dry your eyes, little fashionista. It's what she would have wanted."



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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A Note from Jay McCarroll

"Hello everyone. Whats up? I have a very special request for you. Yesterday we celebrated a holiday that gives thanks. Thanks for family and friends, thanks for a wonderful existence on this planet. Some creatures in this world dont have such a choice. Over 50 million animals a year give up their beautiful coats and more unfortunately, their lives for something so unnecessary. As a consumer, you have the power to change the way the fur trade operates. If you dont buy it, they wont sell it. Lets join forces to wipe out the cruelty of the fur trade. It starts with you.

Please sign this pledge and make compassion your fashion!

Have a great day!

Jay"

Congratulations Kevin!

Quickie recap: The challenge was a "rock and roll makeover" for an artist no one ever heard of before. Each designer submitted sketches to singer Sarah Hudson and she chose the three best; Austin, Jay, and Kevin. Each designer picked two from the remaining designers for three teams of three. Kevin's team, which included Nora and Alexandra, won. You can read Tim's Take on this episode here.

Oh, Melissa. What have they done to you?

Not only would this not have been our choice for the win, we considered it the worst out of the three.

We'll grant you that a design challenge like this means you can pretty much throw everything out the window and do whatever you want, but this is not only ugly, it's ridiculously dated.

This is straight out of the 1984 playbook. Pure "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Is there anything more cliched than a fauxhawk and fishnets? This doesn't look "rocker" to us; it looks "poser."

In fact, it looks like a Halloween costume. Like what a 16-year-old would put together for an '80s theme party. She looks like she shredded an old prom dress and then raided her father's tie rack for accessories, which, if you're Molly Ringwald in a John Hughes film, would be considered spunky and cute, but in 2004 it just looked tired and done.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Here is a story about a magical Princess.

See the Princess jump. Jump, Princess, jump!

See the Princess flap her hands dramatically. Flap, Princess, Flap!

"Oh!" she thinks. "If only I could fly!"

Why is the Princess excited? Because she knows that the PRGayBoys will be on the couch tonight watching Episode 4 of Season 1 and they will be blogging about it just as soon as the magical turkey celebration is over!

Now. Aren't you just as excited as the Princess?


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

And the retro train keeps rolling along. Funny how each designer seemed to pick a decade. Alexandra: 1930s, Austin: 1950s, Wendy: 1960s and now Vanessa: 1940s.

We'll give her credit for at least updating a 1940s look instead of simply redoing it outright. We don't really like this dress, though. First off, it doesn't look particularly well-executed and secondly that neckline is a bit much. Nothing wrong with a plunging neckline but it's not something you'd see at Banana Republic and besides, all you need is a slight breeze to get her arrested on an indecent exposure charge.

That hemline does look a little interesting, but unfortunately we can't get a good enough look at it to judge either way.

Oy. Did she skin a muppet to get that thing?

This is a walking disaster. It's to his credit that he knew it. There's nothing more painful than an oblivious designer beaming proudly as their latest hot mess comes strolling down the runway.

We almost feel like there's no point in critiquing this since the episode made it clear that this wasn't so much a design as it was whatever was left over on the dress form after he spent too long experimenting. Although this dress was damned right from the starting point just because of his fabric choices. Faux leopard and ice blue charmeuse? Yikes.

We were never really on the Robert-is-a-hottie bandwagon, but y'know? Stress looks good on him. When he's not mugging for the cameras or acting like a doofus, he's downright do-able.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Best of the Rest

What is it with all the retro stuff this week? True, Banana Republic did have a "Grandma's attic" story to sell, but the designers went a little overboard.

It's pretty. The top and the neckline look great. Delicate and feminine, which definitely seems to be Alexandra's thing. Downside: it's a little too nightgown-y and once again, these all-one-color dresses tend to get a little boring. And that hem looks a mess.

Is it us or are the designers overusing the accessories wall this season? It's a chic, pretty dress and that hat does nothing for it. In fact, it takes away from it.

Kevin's aesthetic is pretty hard to pin down and this is coming from someone who's seen everything he made this season. This is sort of "classic with a twist" but then some of his other designs have been as out-there as anything Jay or even Jeffrey made.

Love the skirt, love the trim, hate the flower, but then again, we're pretty biased against them. We can't stand grown women wearing bows or flowers unless it's done with real subtlety. This is not subtle and it really works against the dress, which is all urban sophistication. It really doesn't need that Daisy Mae touch.

This was clearly not a Banana Republic dress, but props to Nora, because we really liked this one. Could've done without the neck brace, though.

Not crazy about that sash, but we loved the fabric choice and the asymmetrical pleating. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE MINNIE MOUSE GLOVES.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Life Off the Fruit Loop

When you're an old gay married couple, as we are, you find that you have to put more effort into connecting with the gay community than you had to when you were young, cute and single (as we used to be). Much as we love our gay brothers and sisters, the community has its flaws and one of those flaws is that socially, it's almost completely geared toward the singles. Oh sure, we could join a gay bowling or softball league or go two-stepping or ice-skating, but darlings, none of that is really our style.

We lived smack in the heart of the gayborhood when we were younger. When you're freshly out, a predominantly gay neighborhood is practically essential to your journey. Even if you're not one for the bars or even the type of mo who doesn't particularly like to hang out with other mo's, you really need that immersion to find out who you are and where you stand in the community. In other words, you need to try the dress on even if you're pretty sure it's going to make you look fat.

When we went from dating to married, we stayed in the Fruit Loop for a couple of years, having no good reason to move out of it since we loved it there. Over time, though, we started feeling more and more like outsiders. We still went to the gay gym almost every day, but it became less of an obsession or a need since we had no new dates or potential boyfriends to impress. Ditto the bars. We largely preferred to stay home on the couch and eat Chips Ahoy watching Golden Girls reruns than forge our way through the meat market, but even we occasionally just wanted to get out on a dance floor and connect with our brothers to the latest Mariah Carey remix.

Unfortunately, being the highly desirable, fabulous fags that we are, we sometimes had to gently rebuff pursuers and lemme tell you, fags don't take that sort of thing well. One of us was chatting up a perfectly friendly mo at the local watering hole while the other was off primping in the men's room. When said friendly mo propositioned us, we smiled and said "Sorry, I have a boyfriend." The friendly smile immediately went dark. "Well what are you doing here, then?" Good question. What AM I doing here?

Eventually, we got tired of spending 15 minutes getting ready every time we had to make a run to the convenience store on the corner, just because we had to pass by the judgmental A-List bitches at the coffee shop, so we moved out of the neighborhood. We've been living in what passes for the "chic" neighborhood here in Philly for the last seven years. There are a handful of gays in the neighborhood, but strangely, without a rainbow flag in every 3rd window, it's not as easy to connect with our brothers.

We were happy to leave the gayborhood because it just felt right, but there are times when we truly miss it. Sure, it can get a little high school sometimes, and it's a bit ridiculous how quickly the shirts come off when the temperature reaches anything over 55 degrees, but there's an energy there, a spark that you just can't find anywhere else. We like being able to go to the store looking like shit if we have to, but there's nothing like rounding a corner and unexpectedly bumping into two leather queens making out or just walking the streets on a Saturday night to silently judge all the too-tight and/or too shiny clothing on display.

Of course, there's always the tragic messes, the aging alcoholics or the skinny meth queens, the hustlers and the guys with the wedding bands slooooowwly driving by, but honeys, you just haven't lived until you sit out on your front step at 3 am on Halloween just to watch two drag queens dressed like Joan Crawford and Elizabeth Taylor beat the shit out of each other with their purses while a crowd cheers them on.