Kayne's Goodbye

Hey Hookers!

I am so gonna miss you guys! Except for Laura.
Just kidding, bitch!!!! LOL!
This dress is totally GORGEOUS I don't care
what that bitch Nina says! She wouldn't know
gorgeous if it pooped on her head.
Whoops! Looks like it already did! LOL!!!!
Just kidding!

Anyway, I'm really sad to be going, but I totally
think I rocked the house and brought a little
glam to the place, y'know? And this place DEFINITELY
needed some glam!!!! What with all the
German hippy chicks and rich bitch
mommies around here. Seriously
Laura, would it kill you to use a little
pink every now and then? LOL!!!! And blow out that
hair every once in a while! You look like a trannie on a
smoke break between shows!!!
Just kidding, girl! You know I love you
like a MUCH OLDER sister!!!!!

Michael!!!! Girlfriend, I'm so gonna miss you!!!!
Who else is going to remind me to walk like I mean it????
You're FABULOUS and I'm totally rooting for you
to win this thing but don't tell the others I said that!!!! LOL!!!!

Jeffrey, honey. I never told you this but the neck tattoo?
Not working for me. Go have a talk with Collier and
see if he can hook you up with a good coverup.
Because girl, that thing looks like
you passed out at a frat party!!! Just kidding!!!!!
Work it, boy!

Uli, you know I love you like a German sister
but come on! Raise that hem a little bit!
I can't even tell if you have legs!!!! LOL!!!!
Just kidding, girl!! Thank you for making my mama
look FABULOUS!!!!!!! She's a DIVA and now EVERYONE
knows it!!!!!!

Tim, I love you like a grandfather, but bitch, you TOTALLY
did not get the KAYNE EXPERIENCE!!!!! I'm FIERCE and you
have NO TASTE!!! LOL!!! Just kidding, Daddy!!!!

Seriously guys, I'm totally bummed but you have not
heard the LAST of KAYNE GILLASPIE!!!!!! I am the
QUEEN of GLAMOUR, y'all!!!! The next time you see
a FABULOUS beauty queen covered in GLITTER
you'll know she's been KAYNEFIED!!!!!!

I sprinkled some glitter on your work stations so you'll
always remember the FIERCEST BITCH YOU'RE EVER
GONNA MEET!!!!!!!!

Good luck, bitches!!! Things should be a lot easier for
y'all now that you don't have to compete with me!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!! Make it work!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX,
Kayne Gillaspie, Fiercer than you

P.S. Take care of Amanda, guys! My girl can walk it like
she's on FIRE!!!!

PPS: Laura, I glued your scissors shut!!!!