We realize the very nature of this show requires the total watering down of the term "supermodel," but really, people? Michael Bergin, supermodel?
And was she drunk the entire episode or was it just us? With every slow torturous sentence, we expected her to punctuate it by just passing out, face forward on the floor. The tension was so high, we actually felt a little let down when we reached the end of the episode and the promised blackout never came.
Good morning, models! Your assignment? POSE FOR PICTURES.
Oh dear, they're already running out of interesting challenges. On the other hand, the results were so unbelievably, perfume-ad-in-the-'70s, cheesetastically bad, we can't deny the entertainment value of it all.
Salome
Mountaha
Oh, please.
Laury
Sandhurst
What is that? What is he doing? That's like a JC Penney catalogue pose.
Kerryn
Enjoli. By Revlon.
Jordan
Colin
Will someone please help this boy out and give him a blowjob?
Gabriel
What is this, a George Michael video?
CJ
She looks like she's about to yawn. So do we.
Shawn
For all his ridiculous and embarassing screaming, he sure managed to purge any intensity out of himself and offer the blandest, '80s-album-cover shot you could imagine.
Once again, there were 2 clear leaders here and once again, one of them got overlooked:
Jonathan
Branden
We can definitely see why Branden won out over Jonathan. His pose is more editorial. It already looks like an ad campaign. Jonathan's, even though it's a gorgeous shot, is a generic model pose. Still, it was MILES better than this:
Amanda
Seriously? That is the lamest pose of them all. If two of the guys offer results that are clearly much better than the rest of the pack, why not give the win to both of them? Why does it have to be a guy and a girl?
It seems pretty clear to us at this point that they pick the go-see winners based on what go-sees they can already line up ahead of time.
"These things are fucking HEAVY. Someone take them before I pass out."
Still, it was a pretty awesome go-see, getting to audition to walk in Montreal Fashion week.
Although, come on. Did anyone doubt the outcome?
"Hi, I want you to walk in my show so it'll get on TV."
"Hi, I want you to walk in my show so it'll get on TV."
Colin honey, you need to be practicing that walk in front of a mirror every waking moment because you are just not there yet.
And you're just not there yet, either.
Meanwhile, for far more base reasons...
What? Like we weren't going to post that? Bravo once again tips its chapeau to its audience.
The boys did okay; Branden better than Colin. The clothes were mostly awful.
The girls did much better. Mountaha in particular has a very strong walk. In Brazil, they take the little girls from diapers to 4-inch heels to train them to walk. It's true. We read it on the internet.
"Dudes, I'm WASTED."
This whole challenge was plain stupid.
There are designers that will direct the models to walk more theatrically, but generally, they don't make them walk around like a bunch of crazy people. The models needed way more direction than "Walk weird," and in the real world, they'd get it.
It's not even worth running down each pose. Here. You do it:
Sandhurst, CJ
Colin, Kerryn, Shawn
Amanda, Jonathan, Salome
Branden, Mountaha, Gabriel
Jordan, Laury
Although we will single out two:
This is definitely an instance where the judges made the right choice. Shawn was floundering through the whole competition and his "I want to be a MODEL! RAAAHHHH!" thing was getting a little old.
Even though this was probably the worst of the lot, she's had too many wins for the judges to toss her out. As we said last week, at this stage, they're just weeding out the ones that obviously aren't supposed to be there.
And even though sometimes we think the judges are way overdoing the asshole bit, we have to salute Maggie's "There is no crying in modeling." EXACTLY.
Perou still looks like a jackass though.
Jonathan's win was a consolation prize. His walk wasn't noticeably better than anyone else's really. Still, he's earned it many times over.
And it was cute to see Branden happy for Jonathan. They're going to try and market this as another bromance, for sure.
[Photos: Evelyn Reid/ Indira Cesarine/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
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