Oh, Parker. Parker, Parker, Parker. You're so funny and pretty and talented. Why is it you can't seem to leave the house looking put together? Taking each element on its own - the dress, the tights, the boots - there's nothing really wrong here. The dress is kinda cute, if a little drab. The tights and the boots are theoretically good matches, but the whole look just falls flat. Clearly, you need a small army of gays at your disposal.
Honey, have a gay blow out your hair before you go out! Have another one teach you how to tie a sash with flair! Designate a third one your accessories queen and have him pick out a sassier bag and maybe get those boots shined up a little! Get a Max Factor queen in there to blot the oil off your face and add a little color to it! And finally, get a six and a half foot tall black drag queen to come over and show you how to stand, pose and walk, because girl, you are SO not workin' it.
[Photos: J. Kempin/WireImage]
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