Shitlicious and Acid Terri

"If I were a drag queen my name would be Neonlicious."

No it wouldn't. It'd be Jackie Ass.

"Blayne is really cute but he knows nothing. He only knows girlicious. What is that?"

For all the bitching we, the viewers do about Blayne's annoying "icious" bullshit, can you imagine what it must be like for those poor designers having to hear that all day, every day? And in a room full of sharp instruments. Go figure.

We can't deny that he chose his diva well, though.

Miss Understood is definitely of the neon and candy-colored variety of drag queen and that fits Blayne's aesthetic to a T.

The end result?

Not horrible. Not exactly earth-shattering, but if fit the client's persona for the most part.

Tim went off on the wings (with a line that we wish we'd thought of first), but it's not like that kind of over-the-top embellishment is unheard of in the world of drag.

Of course, if you're gonna do that sort of thing, you better make damn sure you execute it perfectly.

Unless you're the designated "character" of the season. Then you'd have to set a baby on fire on the runway to get the judges to consider auf'ing you.

Suddenly, Miss Nina "Execution" Garcia doesn't notice when a garment is literally FALLING APART on the runway? What bullshit.

It's not that we think Blayne should have been auf'd. He definitely made a drag dress (unlike Daniel) but to not even be in the bottom three for this travesty? And then they spent all their time berating Jerell over a fucking hemline? We call shenanigans.

Deep breaths. Calm blue ocean.

Okay, we're fine.

As we said, the dress isn't horrible, although we do think it's a skosh too short - an issue several of the designers had - and we think that huge black sash in the middle doesn't really do anything for the design.

It's just...bleh, y'know? The dress itself is basic to the point of boring and the one thing that made it a little interesting FELL THE FUCK OFF on the runway to the collective blindness of the judges. Probably because the producers were in front of them waving their arms and blocking their view.

Oh, we ARE cynical bitches today, aren't we?

We can add Acid Betty to the list of drag queens we want to fuck. Cuh-hute!

The general consensus seems to hold that it's a tragedy that Terri didn't win but frankly, we were more disappointed that Stella didn't get a chance to pick Acid Betty for her model. Could you imagine what Cheroin could have done with the punk rock/kabuki/genderfuck warrior?

To be honest, we're gonna have to go against the grain on this one. We think there was more wrong than right with this look.

See, there's "over the top" and then there's "throw everything at it to see what sticks."

We're fine with a drag costume that sears itself on our retinas, but there just so much going on here that your eye has nowhere to go. And we're also fine with a drag costume that isn't traditionally feminine, especially for a drag queen like this, but there's almost NOTHING feminine about it.

Really, the only element that we liked without reservation was the sleeves.

'

That bodice is...well, it's kind of ugly, to be perfectly honest.

There's so much going on that we're gonna have to start from the top and work our way down.

The collar: good concept, execution, so-so. That big, twisty, rope thing? Confusing. Distracting.

The vinyl corset: good. We like. The yellow knotted things at the top? Weird. Unnecessary.

The knotted bits of string at the bottom? TOTALLY unnecessary. Skirt: practically nonexistent.

The Gary Glitter boots? Kinda cool, but she really went overboard with the asymmetrical aspects of the design. And those STRINGS. What the hell ARE those things?

The judges really went nuts over this and we admit, we were pretty impressed the first time we saw it too. But it's one of those garments that's ALL impact. It takes your breath away the first time you see it and then it gets worse and worse the more you look at it.

Sorry, Terri fans. We just can't get behind the idea that she was robbed.

Although we wouldn't dream of telling her that. Joe better start wearing an iron cup, because she's got her eyes on his balls.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo/Miss Understood's MySpacePage/Acid Betty's MySpace Page - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]