RuPaul's Drag Race S2E2

"Oh my God, I'm in a group with Satan's baby."

Gratuitous and disgusting objectification. You can send your complaints to whocareswhatyouthink@tomandlorenzo.com.

It amazes us how they can come up with so many appropriate challenges for a drag queen reality contest. Forcing queens to play with dolls is like forcing a fat kid to eat a cupcake. All you have to do is point them in the right direction and they'll take off.

So Sahara and Pandora win the doll showdown, next stop?

Stripperville!

Pardon us, "Burlesqueville." And after indulging the queens by giving them dolls to play with...

...they then turned to punishing them by forcing them to look at gyrating ladybits.

Gyrating Ladybits will be the name of our band.

And what the hell was up Miss Sourpants' cooter? Isn't that always the way with the prettiest girls? Always the biggest bitch in the room.

Kim Coles, whatever happened to her? We always thought she was a really talented comedian but she kind of dropped off the radar after the '90s.

And let's face it, they couldn't have found a better judge than Miss Dita, who not only is the current reigning queen of burlesque; she's also basically the world's foremost anatomically correct drag queen.

Now kittens, if there's one thing we love about reality television...

It's watching the participants make utter fools of themselves.

And yet, something about this challenge wasn't clicking with us. For one, "sexy" is a very small subset of the drag world. The vast majority of drag queens don't go for the kind of sexy that straight men like. It just felt like none of the dolls were enjoying themselves.

Granted, that's why they call it a challenge, but still. Then there were the shots of the "audience" and kittens, we don't believe for a second that any of those men were straight. Not least because you'd be hard pressed to find a dozen straight men on short notice willing to throw money at half naked lady men. Besides, we've got the gaydar and it was pinging loudly every time they panned the "crowd."

If they really wanted to do it, they should have sent them in to a strip club already packed with patrons to see how they handled it. As it is, the whole thing came of a little too staged.

So let's watch the queens do what queens do best: play dressup.


Love the dress and she really is striking. She's got a mouth on her, but Miss Ru slapped her down. We'll see if she learns the lesson.


We are not loving this look. That headpiece or hat or whatever it is, is weird. And the dress is a bit too low-rent drag queen for us. Jessica is not one to watch, but we could be wrong about that.

Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one, bitches!

She is definitely at the top of the list. She didn't do so hot this week, probably because she seemed inexplicably threatened by Nicole Paige, but her transformation is amazing.


Fabulous. But we like her better when she's working a Sheree from Real Housewives look.

Oh, Miss Pandora.

You have us very concerned. You are our favorite and you really seem to be floundering here. Are the prettier girls getting the best of you? Because honey, when there are prettier girls in the room, it's best not to wear a floor-length house dress. Step it up. This is your second disappointing catwalk experience and we will be very upset if you go home.


We repeat: J'DORE JUJUBEE.

She's one of the best at giving face.

Another one who seems rattled by the prettier girls.

Although we're not sure why. She could be quite beautiful and glamorous if she wanted to be. She could easily work a Sandra Bullock look.


Mystique also gives really good face, but that girl is a BITCH. But hey, at least she's not worried about the prettier girls.

Did not like this look at all. Like most drag queens, all of her makeup skills are stage-based, so her face comes off really harsh on television. She could easily be the prettiest of the girls, but that doesn't seem to be her thing.

Bitch could be an honest to god model if she wanted to. And if she wasn't such a moody bitch. We want to root for her, but her personality is making it a bit tough.

Didn't much like this look either. We're not crazy about the wig and the dress looks a little cheap.

In the end, it was poor Miss Nicole Paige who went home. We were sorry to see her go, but we can't really argue with the decision. For whatever reasons, she just wasn't able to reach deep down inside herself and find her inner CharismaUniquenessNerveTalent. This was no time to be the southern belle. Unless that southern belle is Miss Scarlett O'Hara, because that bitch got whatever she wanted.

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