The Year of the Fag

As we've established, we're a couple of judgmental bitches, but every once in a while, believe it or not, we can judge someone and find them praise-worthy.

2006 will be looked back on as the year of the outing. Unfortunately, as is the way of the media, much more focus will be put on the tragic messes of Foley and Haggard, but we want to single out the ones who had the courage to do it on their own without any scandal whatsoever.

Remember the '90s, when every actress, singer or comedian seemed to be coming out as a lesbian? We were of course thrilled for Melissa and Rosie and Ellen and kd, but we looked around and said "Where are the men?" and sadly concluded that it would be a long time before America would be ready to accept a rash of out male celebrities. Thankfully, it wasn't as long as we thought.

Lance, TR, and Neil? Thank you. Thank you for having the courage at a time when you belong to the second-most-vilified group in this country to just do it. Coming out is the bravest, most important thing that any gay person can do and it is unimaginably more difficult when the person who's doing it is already in the public eye.

Thank you for coming out with class and without any scandal whatsoever. No cheating on your wife, no being arrested in a public toilet, no blackmail schemes by hookers. Just a simple, "I'm gay and I'm happy." How motherfucking refreshing. After the community embarrassments of George Michael or Jim McGreevy or Mark Foley, just having you guys, you blessedly (relatively) normal guys, come out with so little fanfare or drama is such a gift to the rest of us.

Now granted, plenty of gays are going to (or already have) criticize you or tear you down, but that's just equal parts bitchery, jealousy and the all-too-common elevation of celebrities to a status they should never have.

Boys? A little advice. Please do NOT become activists. That's not your job. Your job is to entertain us and thankfully, you seem to understand this for the most part. You want to help out the gays? Win an Emmy. Get yourself on the cover of TV Guide or People (for something other than your sexuality). Walk on the red carpet with your boyfriend. Be really good at what you do, avoid scandals or embarrassments, do your best to live a happy, out life and you will have accomplished more for the gay community than any speechmaking or marching you could do. Just be happy, fulfilled and successful (however you define those terms) and future actor fags and singer fags and entertainer fags will never even think of trying to lie about who they are and attempt to fool the public. Just be fabulous.

Good luck to you boys and once again, thank you.

See? We're not total bitches, y'know.