Y'know, we're all for cute boys with great bodies waltzing across our TV screen in their underwear every chance they get (especially if those cute boys are prone to accidental hardons), but Gabriel might just be overdoing it a tad.
Y'think the producers might just have been sending a sneaky message regarding the maturity level of these contestants? Don't get us wrong, bitchy smack-talking is the hallmark of good reality competitons (or at least, entertaining ones), but some of these bitches were getting on our last gay nerves. We'll get to that in a second.
We liked this challenge because it's not something you normally think of when you think of modeling and yet a lot of models are called on to do this sort of thing all the time.
Here's the part where we thought everyone needed to shut the hell up and grow the hell up. Is CJ fun to be around? No, probably not. But she didn't deserve all the damn behind-the-back bitchery that everyone was throwing around.
Like we said, she's certainly annoying, but it's not like she's going around bad-mouthing everyone else and clawing her way through the competition. These bitches need to relax a little bit.
Enough drama. Let's look at pictures!
Laury, Amanda, Kerryn
This was definitely one of the better shots. Probably because they all looked like they were actually playing sports.
But THIS was the winner? Seriously? Her pose was good but her face looked ridiculous.
Especially since Laury was criticized for not giving good face when she basically made exactly the same face as the winner.
Colin, Branden
Another good shot. Plus it's kinda hot.
CJ, Jonathan, Gabriel
What the hell is CJ doing? Swimming?
And what the hell is Gabriel supposed to be? An angry cheerleader?
Gotta give it up for our man here. He looks hot and he looks like he knows what he's doing.
Sandhurst, Karen, Jordan
None of them are relating to each other in any way. It's like they're all fighting for dominance in the shot. And not one of them look like they're playing any recognizable sport.
Sandhurst honey, you're good and you've got what it takes to go all the way to the end, but we're already tired of the "I'm a dancer" schtick being worked into EVERY SINGLE POSE.
Mountaha, Salome, Shawn
Awful. Not one of them look like they know what they're doing.
Can we just all decide now that the "Everyone hates me so I'm going to call home and cry" scene is so played out at this point that it's become a reality competition cliche? Just once, we'd like someone's mommy or daddy to respond with "Well, you always were kind of a bitch, dear."
And speaking of bitches...
We get why Laury was pissed that Amanda won it, but her comments here were way out of line. The very definition of a sore loser.
And we hate to say it, but we think the girls are being favored way too much in this competition. There's no way Amanda's picture was better than Jonathan's or even Branden's. Can Bravo just not line up any go-sees for the male models?
"HAHAHA! We are having SPONTANEOUS FUN with all of these props that just HAPPEN to be lying around! The producers had NOTHING to do with it! HAHAHAHA!!!!"
"It's important to have good underwear. You want to be elegant, you want to be classy, you want to be sexy, you want to be spicy...there are different levels of intensity you can bring out, you can incorporate through your underwear."
Speaking as 2 gay men who have spent enough money on high-end underwear to put someone through medical school, you are taking this WAY too seriously, girl.
Runway time! We loved the outfits they had to wear. They looked fabulous and you could immediately see how challenging it was to make them work. But damn, most of these bitches have no idea how to pose.
Amanda, Branden
She looks stupid. His pose is at least appropriate, but it's not exactly dynamic.
Gabriel, CJ, Colin
Gabriel was a dud, CJ had no idea what she was doing, and Colin, poor thing, is trying. He's improving each week and he's so earnest about it that we can't criticize him too much.
Jordan, Karen, Jonathan
Jordan, please tell the class what's sporty about that pose. Karen,
you're scaring us a little and Jonathan? Please report to our bedroom.
There's a reason we're falling all over Jonathan with praise and it's not because we think he's hot. It's because he's CLEARLY the best out of all of them.
Laury, Mountaha, Kerryn
Laury and Mountaha, we think we speak for all the judges when we say "What the fuck?" Kerryn did a decent enough job, but not win-worthy.
Sandhurst, Shawn, Salome
Actually, these three were the biggest WTFs of all. Sandhurst, STOP DANCING.
We have absolutely no idea why Kerryn won this one. She did a decent job, but we can't for the life of us figure out why the judges thought she did better than Jonathan. It's more "dramatic" if the girl who doubts herself wins over the guy who's obviously the best. Whatever.
We can't get too hung up on it, though. There are so many contestants and so many of them are just bad, that in the beginning, it's more about weeding out the weak ones than it is about rewarding the good ones. Jonathan will get his win eventually.
Gabriel did poorly and he's been doing poorly all along, so if he'd gone home, we would have accepted it eventually. Still, we were this close to yelling at our screen because like we said, the competition has been skewed toward the girls a little too much and if they sent three guys in a row home, we would have had to call shenanigans.
We felt bad for Karen, but her scary faces and poor posing meant she had to go home eventually, so they might as well have ripped off the band-aid now and get it over with.
And finally...
Yes, it's gratuitous. Your point?
[Photos: Bravotv.com/Justin Steele - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
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