Launch My Line S1E2: Congrats & Goodbye

Which way to Puff Daddy's, bitches?

Despite the outrageously cracktacular judging (which we suspect is a feature, not a bug), this episode gave us everything we were looking for: drama, clothes, bitches.



You know what? We really LIKE the way they do challenges on this show. For one thing, they're meant to be progressive and cumulative. They literally are designing their line all season rather than just churning out responses to various jump-through-the-hoop schemes. And while the challenges don't showcase the kind of creativity one hopes to see in dresses made out of car parts and cut flowers, we like them for their specificity, and clear boundaries, very much in the mode of what a smart designer would ask themselves while trying to launch a line.

With this challenge, they had to design for a daytime event at the beach; choose one of two selected silhouettes and incorporate that into the design (butterfly or jelly fish); incorporate orange into the design; and find inspiration at Venice Beach, all done after consulting with trend expert, Sally Lohan, who kind of sounded like the Super Nanny. Now THAT'S a challenge! None of this airy, editorial, New York fashion stuff. You want to sell clothes? Here's a list of what you need in your line. It's all very company-controlled, small market stuff and we kind of love the show for that; for bringing something different to the table.

And in that vein of treating it more as a business than a calling, we get to see the brand new logos for the lines:






It's weird how they all felt inspired to mention the Real Housewives in their logos, though.

And Bravo? Let us just say this about that: speaking as viewers, we can assure you that anyone who watches Bravo for more than an hour a week is WELL AWARE of the existence of the Real Housewives and what is going on in their world. You can lay off on plastering updates all over the screen.


So, uhhh...Congratulations, DJ Guy?

Really, judges? This?

Clearly the twins have a love of the flashier side of fashion, because they were the ones who seemed to respond more positively to this than the other judges.




But come ON, fashion pixies. We're all for the glitzier stuff, but this is just tacky. Mariah Carey would take one look at this and be all, "Bitch, please. I don't like butterflies THAT much."

And Mrs. Robinson here is taking control of the ship. She kept saying, "I was a party girl," and we kept thinking, "Honey? The operative word here is 'was.'" Because that is one nineties-ass-looking motherfucker you churned out. J Lo called. She's time traveling to 1996 and needs something to wear.

And a hearty farewell to architect guy, who surprised us by mentioning a wife. We were getting the cute nerdy Jewish gay vibe off him. Oh well. Can't be right all the time.

But we were right about one thing: by about 15 minutes into the episode we were both saying, "He needs to GO." Nice enough guy, but clearly has no concept of how to approach fashion.

"It's not a wall. It's a dress."

They dress like Mr. Rogers, they sound like they're in the Lollipop Guild, and they're bitches. What is not to love here?

FUCKING HIDEOUS.

Oh, jeez. That was a little harsh. It's just that when we see this "outfit," we --

JESUS CHRIST. SO UGLY.

Wow. We didn't expect to get so emotionally invest--



OUR EYES ARE OFFENDED RIGHT NOW.

Remember when Kors said this past season on PR, "This is clothes, not fashion?" Well, we can't even say THAT. These are pieces of fabric stitched together awkwardly to cover private bits, not clothes.

Like we said, sweet guy, but this kind of scorched-earth implosion left no doubt in our minds that he should stick to architecture.


[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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