Battle of the Bottle Blondes

DELICIOUS bitchery this week, darlings! Tyson and Tabatha, two Persian cats pissing and hissing and establishing their territories. LOVE. IT.

Of course one of these fluffy little balls of bitchery is seriously out of his league. Someone needs to warn Tyson that the men who cross Tabatha tend to wind up in jars, ribbiting their heads off.


"I can do this all day, you know. I never blink."

"Oh, you child. I haven't blinked since the Middle Ages."


"...

I think I'll go call my mommy now."

Of course, bitchery is all the more delicious when it's the rage-behind-the-grin variety.

"Aw. Looks like you're last, Tabs."


"Why, THANK you, Tyson. That was so very thoughtful of you to try and make this more fun for me. Was that your Mommy's idea?"


"I will destroy you."


"Well you better get on it then, because you're going to need about 30 priests and a metric ton of holy water. And even THAT didn't work the last time someone tried it."


"It's cute, isn't it? Give me a lock of his hair, an unbaptized baby and the light of a full moon and I'll have him shitting ping-pong balls for the rest of his sorry life."

BONUS:
Q: What's funnier than obvious product placement?

A: Obvious product placement with a goofy accent.

"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."


"Shit, I just got my hair hacked off by a hobbit. What the hell are wowee clothes?"


God, isn't that babydoll-over-jeans look seriously done at this point? On the one hand, it's to the show's enormous credit that they appear to be using real women as wig stands instead of size zero lollipop heads. On the other hand, these poor girls just had their hair hacked off by crazy people. Can't you at least TRY and make them feel a little pretty while you force them to parade around?

We're not the biggest fans of Cynthia Rowley, but she usually puts out flirty, cute, girly clothes. This looks like she just pulled stuff out of her hamper and gave it to the producers. We understand that the girls need to look somewhat uniform, but why not put them all in basic black dresses? That looks good on anyone and it won't detract from the hair. As it is, we can't help noticing the clothes because they're so drab and unflattering.