Kittens, we have a confession to make. We kind of didn't like ANY of the hairstyles last night, winning or losing entries. Of course part of that is due to this:
GAAHH! It's like an army of Cousin Itts. Or Crystal Gayle impersonators.
We're with Lady Bird. There's no excuse for ass-length (let alone floor-length) hair. Oh, and Lady Bird? 1996 called. They want their crucifix back.
And then when Jaclyn told them that they couldn't cut so much as an inch of it...well, Meredith summed it up best.
"Oh, my god, is that my stomach or is that my heart?"
I'm sorry. GROSS.
Sorry, Nekisa. From where we were sitting, the loser could have been chosen by coin toss (the winner too), and unfortunately, they settled on you.
You know how the terms "bridal" and "prom queen" kept getting thrown around last night? Well this is the slutty prom queen after a night of rolling around in various back seats. Honestly, we don't even GET what she was going for there.
And this:
...was the winner? Really?
First off, those "pearls" look like they came out of a vending machine. Secondly, can anyone really see much of a difference in quality between this and Nekisa's 'do?
"This reminds me, my wife has hair too!"
Good lord, if we'd known he was gonna be like this we would've started a drinking game before he left. We get it, Matthew. You're straight. No one cares.
As for the elimination challenge...
Feh. Not the most exciting one we've seen.
"Dresses remind me of my wife. Did I tell you about her?"
Rene has HAD it with the wife talk.
Y'know, nothing can compare to Tim Gunn, but there's something refreshing about a reality show mentor who's an unrepentant bitch.
Well, congratulations again, Charlie.
We kind of hated it.
There's nothing wrong with it per se, it's just that it's so DONE. We've seen this on a million red carpets and for us, it sums up why "red carpet" is so boring. That whole "princess" "old Hollywood glamor" bit is so played out at this point.
Still, it's a reality competition and we can't blame anyone for playing it safe.
Sayonara, Matthew's wife's husband.
Can't say we didn't see this one coming.
He hit the trifecta of boring, badly executed and borderline ugly.
"Losing reminds me of my wife."
Who thinks that the second he got home, Mrs. Matthew was all "You LOST?! You IDIOT!!!" We picture a lot of thrown vases.
So yeah, the episode was boring, EXCEPT
These two bitches clearly HATED each other and that, darlings, that was DELICIOUS.
"Do you hear what Lips is saying over here, Biggest Loser chick? Bitch has no taste."
"Well, I see no need to be nasty about it, chubs."
"I think the collagen has worked its way up to your brain, blondie."
More to come, poodles!
[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Tomandlorenzo.blogpost.com]
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