Auf Wiedersehen!

The birds, darlings! THE BIRDS ATE MY DRESS!

Well it's about god damn time, wouldn't you say? And does anyone think it was a coincidence that the minute they took fabric away from these babies, they all turned on each other, providing the most entertaining hour of the season so far? They should take the fabric away permanently. Or better yet, take away a different element each week. Fabric - but no thread! Fabric and thread - but no closures! Fabric, thread, and closures - but no dress forms! Sewing machines without needles! Needles without sewing machines! The possibilities are ENDLESS. Producers, watching designers flail about in panic and turn on each other is FUN, we don't care what any of the purists say.

Gaze into the face of a liar, kittens! A LIAR! And not just any liar, but the liar who lied the biggest lie in the history of Project Runway!!!!!

Puh. Leeze.
Sure, it was a whopper, and sure, he made himself look pretty foolish in the process, but we tend to think that signing a form declaring that you have taken no fashion-related reading materials with you and then stashing them under the bed counts as a somewhat bigger lie than this. Hell, "Kara jumped up and down backstage and that's why my jumpsuit is falling apart" was a bigger lie than this.

This was just basic ass-covering. Laughable ass-covering ("My other dress is a Dior."), but nothing all that shocking to anyone who's been watching the show for awhile. Maybe they meant "The biggest lie in the history of Project Runway on Lifetime."

There is a strong temptation to link his little fib with his professed addiction issues, but frankly, we don't get paid enough to do that kind of psychoanalysis and besides it would be awfully presumptuous of us.

We will say this: watching him over these last 5 episodes we were struck by, well, how much energy he seems to suck out of the room. He's either melting down, about to melt down, or strutting around making a big show of how he's not melting down. It must have been exhausting for everyone else.

Alright, enough of this Lifetime Movie of the Week drama. Let's look at the dress.

Model: Emarie Wiltz

It wasn't horrible. Bad, yes. And a decision by the judges with which we agreed, but all things considered, it wasn't an eyesore.

What's with the Wilma Flintstone hemline?

For the most part, it was a deadly dull dress that he tried to spice up with some poorly chosen design elements, like the aforementioned hemline and that weird boob spike.

Honestly, he might have been able to salvage it if he hadn't gone with the godawful styling. Putting poor Emarie in those red hooker shoes and teasing her hair out to stripper levels may have been the worst decisions he made all episode.

One thing's for sure: you do not FUCK with Tim Gunn's sense of propriety.

"Designers, I am apoplectic over Johnny's inconceivable utterances that insult the very concept of truth! It is so preposterous, ridiculous and fatuous! I'm so beside myself that I'm actually running out of words to describe this heinous act that besmirches the good name of Project Runway! Fiction! It was pure fiction! A fabrication, even! I'm heading back to my office for a drink and a thesaurus. You're on your own."

Entended Judging:



Exit Video:



[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Videos: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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