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Sunday, September 6, 2009

Team Bickerson

On this episode of Divorce Court...


When it comes to reality show throw-downs, editing almost always plays a huge part in heightening the drama and taking sound bites from a 2 or 3-day period and making them sound like a rapid fire argument. With Epperson and Qristyl, 2 contestants who up till now had come across as quiet and friendly, respectively, the editing suddenly showed them to be pompous and defensive with each other.

Which isn't to say that there weren't clear personality conflicts going on; just that, as viewers to this rapid-edit bitchfight, we really can't say who was in the wrong here or who started it or who should have acted differently.

Certainly, the normally quiet, somewhat affable Epperson did come across as if he thought Qristyl needed to be told what to do.

And Qristyl, for her part, did come across a mite too defensive every time Epperson opened his mouth. Plus she never seemed to let him finish a sentence without jumping all over him.

One thing we will never understand about these types of conflicts is why one of them never says to the other "Look, I don't like you but I don't want to get sent home and neither do you. How about we shut up and finish this without the sniping?"

The ironic thing is that for all their bitching and scratching...

Model: Erica Milde

They had almost nothing to show for it. This is just okay. A basic sundress with some minor twists - and the twists didn't work out so well.

First off: titscrepancy. Heidi made a point to commend them on how well they fit the bust - and we would have thought that to be the one area where she had more knowledge than the other judges - but those boobs don't look so hot to us.

Second, that weird torso panel. Does it come off or not? Tim didn't like it when it was removable and she didn't take it off on the runway, but why does it still look like a separate piece? And why didn't the judges notice that?

Third, there's the balloon effect on the skirt. We no love.

We also no love those shoes, but that's a different story.

It's just a boring dress with a weird silhouette, wonky boobs, and a panel that either does or does not come off. Confusing. No one should have to think that much about something you could pick up at Dress Barn for 20 bucks.

Model: Matar Cohen

Avant garde: a⋅vant-garde /əˌvɑntˈgɑrd, əˌvænt-, ˌævɑnt-, ˌɑvɑnt-; Fr. avɑ̃ˈgard/
Pronunciation [uh-vahnt-gahrd, uh-vant-, av-ahnt-, ah-vahnt-; Fr. a-vahn-gard]
–noun
1. the advance group in any field, esp. in the visual, literary, or musical arts, whose works are characterized chiefly by unorthodox and experimental methods.

2. a shitty bathing suit with a curtain stapled to it.


What can we say? This was a disaster.

A poorly conceived, poorly executed, badly fitted poop-colored disaster that was about as avant garde as a fart.

In fact, it's a fart in clothing form.

Nina put it best and had the only reaction one could possibly have toward this:

"What IS this?"

We could go on and on about how "avant garde" is meaningless as a directive or style brief (and we probably will for the rest of the week) because it means different things to different people, but we can say with some assurance that NO ONE would consider this avant garde in any way, shape or form. There's nothing forward-thinking about this; nothing that challenges the audience in any way. It's a very basic garment, poorly executed, with a last-minute desperate addition of a big, incongruous poof.

In that sense, it was a perfect summation of their time together as a team.

We keep going back and forth, trying to find a person to blame here. Qristyl threw Epperson under the bus! But Epperson deserved it because he took over and treated her badly! But she should have asserted herself without being so defensive! But! But!

Oh, to hell with it. They both acted badly and it showed in the final product.

Extended judging:


[Photos: Mike Yarish/myLifetime.com - Video: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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