Bottom Boys

Let's check out the messy bottoms, shall we?

"This challenge is actually kind of simple. I know what Emarie likes. We have the same aesthetic, we have the same idea, we have the same vibe. It's like designing something for myself if I were a black girl."

Oh, honey. With that one sentence alone you confirmed the years and years you spent in front of a mirror lip synching to Destiny's Child.

We think these two have the cutest designer/model relationship. She quickly became very good at cutting him down when he gets a little too big for his britches and calming him down when he's heading for another melt down.

Model: Emarie Wiltz

Unfortunately, their collaboration resulted in this.

We have to say that loudmouth was right. That IS a cute purse.

We really can't add anything to what the judges said. It's a mess. We don't really get the "bridesmaid" slam. That's not quite true. We get it (mainly because of the color); it's just that it wouldn't have been the first thing to come to mind for us.

More like a walk of shame dress to us. Those frayed edges at the bust are the only interesting thing he did but unfortunately, because the rest of the dress is so sloppy-looking, the effect is muted. They could have looked cool and edgy if the rest of the dress was impeccably done.

But it's just such a wrinkled mess that anything of slight interest was lost.

Design-wise, it's not that bad. Yeah, a little basic and yeah, he could have chosen a slightly more sophisticated color, but for us, the very worst thing about it is that it looks like it was rolled up in a ball at the bottom of her hamper. Still, we get why they kept him over Qristyl. He at least tried to some minor things to jazz it up.

Here you go, ladies. Tom would like it known that he used to have a pair of silver jeans just like these and hung onto them for years, partly because he paid a shit ton of money for them and partly because he knew they'd come back in style some day. Unfortunately, by the time they came back in style, Tom realized he was a bit past the age when he could get away with silver jeans and not look pathetic. It was with great sadness that he had to let them go. Let that be a lesson to the babies out there: wear your silver jeans while you still can.

Now these two had a weird relationship, we thought. Then again, it seems like Logan has weird relationships with every model he's worked with so far. He almost seems scared of them. Granted, Kojii had some strange requests.

Model: Kojii Helnwein

But he really should have put his foot down at some point and asserted himself as the designer. Because kittens?

This was a mess.
Once again, we have little to add to what the judges said. It does look like an old prom dress reimagined. Like Molly Ringwald if The Psychedelic Furs had recorded a song called Pretty in Blue.

Bleh. The skirt's too full and messy looking. And it looks like it should have a poodle appliqued onto it.

The only thing we kinda like is what he did around her waist there. It's a shame it got lost in all that heavy black lace. Again, we get why he was kept over Qristyl. It's not a good look by any means, but he tried to do something with an edge and she did a basic cocktail dress. Point of view wins out over boring every time on this show.

Still, he's no fool. He knew how to get out of an auf'ing. Lucky for him there was a horny stylist on the judging panel.

"The dress looks like shit, but mommy likes what you're wearing."

"Jennifer, why don't we concentra--"

"Shut it. I don't think he's wearing underwear. Is that a visible penis line? Me-OW."

Extended Judging:





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