NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

That's it.

Blog over.

There's nothing more to write about. Our world has gone cold and gray.


Oh Evangelin. Our little Italian Tammy Faye. Our Madonna of the Garden Shears. Our under-voweled, over-accessorized Mama of Drama. How can we go on without you? What will we write about?


Will any of the other contestants go batshit crazy like you did last night? Will any of them strut around with gardening tools and try and convince themselves they're forward-thinking hair artists? No, doll. They won't. And you know why? Because it takes real talent and focus to become a reality show drama queen superstar and NONE of those people have it. You were the quintessential "piece of work" and now Shear Genius is a little less genius without you.


Exhibit A in the case of whether or not they drug the wig stands. She's so strung out, we're shocked she can still stand.


Honestly, it was a little obvious that she was the one going. You don't strut around and get into arguments about your genius and then expect to stay, honeys. No, she was clearly digging a hole for herself. And her final creation wasn't just ass, it was MEGA-ass. Those little spiral curl tendrils are creepy.


Notice how NONE of the women came down to hug her. Those bitches are HARSH.

Our biggest regret is that she didn't have the Major Meltdown that we were convinced was right around the corner. Granted, she probably burst into tears when she left the studio and hasn't stopped crying in the months since, but it's no fun for us if it's not filmed, now is it?


Bravo, please give her her own show. We think we speak for the rest of America when we say that what this country needs right now is a weepy little Italian woman with garden shears in her hands, too much makeup on, wardrobe by Dress Barn, crying in our living rooms at least one night a week over things that the rest of the population would never considered tear-worthy. Teach us how to feel, Evangelin.

In other news,

Congratulations Danna!

What is it with the vowels on these people? Was the O too expensive or something? We're liking Danna more and more. Partly because she's low-drama but with a sense of humor about it all, but mostly because we're fairly certain she's smoking a blunt every morning before she heads to the studio.


She kicked ass last night. The day-to-night look was simple, but really, simple was the only thing you could have done in a challenge like that.


Her red-carpet challenge? Well....


...don't get us wrong. It's VERY Vanessa Williams, probably moreso than any of the other styles last night - and the back of it really is unique and gorgeous, but man, the front. That is some tranny-looking hair there, sister.