The Dress Whisperer

Maybe he should have spent less time talking to it and a little time listening to it because we're pretty sure it was saying "Stop! Please!"

Darlings, the more we look at this...

...the more we are simply overcome with ennui. Dull, dull, dull.

Worse than that: dated, which has been a real problem with Chris' work.

This is why we couldn't be judges. We really like Chris and we think he's very talented, so we hate to rake him over the coals - which we are about to do. Give us a sec to get our bitchpants on.

...

Actually, we can't work up the energy to rake him over the coals. We're so bored by this dress that we can't seem to string together the required 500 words to trash it. But for you, we'll try.

It's such a boring '90s Country Music Awards retread. We hate the boob flaps and we hate the thick straps that run all the way down to form pockets.

PLUS, he FRAYED them, kittens. He FRAYED DENIM. That is decidedly UNfabulous. According to him, his idea was to do the LBD in denim. Call us snobs if you want, but the classic LBD should never have frayed ANYTHING.

It's rare that we hate EVERYTHING Chris does, but we really hate everything about this dress. The skirt looks too tight and we don't like the way it slightly flares out at the bottom.

Chris, like Sweet P, seems to be struggling to find his way in the competition. Ever since his auf'ing and subsequent return, he seems to be straddling a line between playing it safe and giving in to his costuming aesthetic. He's got killer execution skills and a flair for the dramatic that rivals any of the other designers. He could make it all the way to the end on those two factors alone. He was just damn lucky that there were uglier garments on the runway this week, because the minute we saw this, we said "Nina's going to HATE that."

Another problem we have is with the accessorizing. Chris' work rarely seems "modern" to us. It doesn't help when he wraps scarves or chokers around the model. This is the third time he's done so this season. Chris darling, you're not working with drag queens here. You don't have to cover their Adam's apple.

See? She looks so much better without the scarf.


[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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