Darlings, let's pretend we were invited to the American Ballet Theatre's 69th annual Spring Gala at The Metropolitan Opera House in New York City, NY. And let's pretend we spent the whole evening judging the other party-goers' outfits.
Iman
Oscar de la Renta Resort 2009
Model: Jourdan Dunn
It's a gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. No issues here. Party on, Iman.
Ivanka Trump
Carolina Herrera Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Heidi Mount
It's also a gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. You're looking a little hippy there, Ivanka. Plus the necklace is all wrong. Please leave and come back looking more suitable.
Kim Raver
Carolina Herrera Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Sigrid Agren
Another gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. We're three for three. Unfortunately Kim, you had the dress altered to add a sleeve where there wasn't one before. Ooooh, bad idea. While we applaud your decision not to bare your bra at us, we can't support the addition of the sleeve. Please hide in shame from the photographers.
Lindsay Price
Carolina Herrera Spring 2009 Collection
Model: Toni Gam
Dear Lindsay, you took a fabulously disheveled-looking design and had it altered to look like a cheap set of curtains from K-Mart. We're afraid we're going to have to call security and have you escorted out.
Lynda Carter
Carolina Herrera Spring 2009 Collection
Model: Ksenia Kahnovich
Bow down, motherfuckers! Wonder Woman is in the house and she's looking FIERCE.
Rene Zellwegger in Carolina Herrera
Yes, Renee, the dress is pretty fabulous. Unfortunately, you decided to save some money and not get your hair styled. Please stop posing as if you're shit doesn't stink. Because y'know? It does. It really does.
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