Make Me A Supermodel: Episode 8

Yippee ki-yay, bitches!

In this week's embarassing, uncomfortable photo shoot, the models all have to touch animals. Jordan reflects.

"I'd rather rustle a pig in a photo shoot then shoot with Amanda again."

Honey, you're a good model; probably the best among all the girls and second-best overall. Now, we love a good reality TV bitch as much as the next person, but you really need to shut the fuck up about Amanda. We're beginning to suspect you want to kiss her or something.

Anyway, let's look at pictures.

Yow. Turns out, Branden DOES have a bad angle. He looks like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel here.

Tacky, tacky, tacky. All this picture needs is a calendar underneath it.

Clearly not Jordan's element. The pose is awkward and she's giving terrible face.

We give her a lot of credit for trying. The face isn't bad but the judges were right to point out that her hand gives away the tension she was feeling.

See? Modeling's not as easy as you think. Every inch of your body has to be arranged in such a way as to exhibit maximum beauty. Seriously. Oh, don't look at us like that. We didn't say it was ditch-digging or anything like that, just that it takes some work and some talent.

Talent that Colin simply doesn't have. And at this point, after weeks with the kind of coaching and opportunities that most starting-out models would KILL for, it's pretty clear that he's never going to have it.

He looks like he's starring in an '80s music video.

It's a fantastic shot and we understand why the judges chose it, but it wouldn't have been our choice for the winner.

That's another really fantastic shot. Great face, great pose, and she looks completely within her element. We would have been okay if the judges gave it to her...

But THIS was the clear winner to us. Nothing against Sandhurst or Salome. Both of their shots were great, but this one borders on iconically great. Sorry if we sound like a broken record here, but it's almost silly that Jonathan's in this competition at all. He's so clearly already a professional and not only that, he has the potential to be a big name pro. Thankfully, the judges have caught up with us on this one as they praised him to the heavens this week.

And one in particular was obviously feeling a little tingle in his pants.

Anyway, it's another pointless go-see for the winner. These things are getting to be embarassing. Either they send an underqualified model to these things or they send a highly qualified model that the casting people have no interest in.

Yes! There's nothing we love more than watching the genetically gifted whine about having to do ten minutes of exercising and give up eating a pound of bacon every day in order to maintain their single digit bodyfat percentages!

In other words...
Die, bitches.

And that's not German for "The Bitches."


Runway time!

Here they are, folks. The top 6. They've all proven that they pretty much have what it takes to be a model. We said all along that this show is mainly about putting them all through their paces and biding time until they can weed out the ones who are obviously not supposed to be there.

And these two obviously need to go. It was Colin's turn this week and it would have to take a major act of god for it not to be Amanda's turn next week.

There was one interesting little bit of drama:

"Please don't send Colin home. He's so charming."

We thought that was a little odd. Normally she advocates for the girls and Tyson advocates for the guys. But then when Tyson announced Colin was going home, you could see her in the background shaking her head disgustedly. It seems to us that she wasn't so much advocating for Colin as she was basically saying "Please send that embarassing blonde chick home." Seriously, watch it again. She HATES Amanda!

Which is good, because we were wondering if she was capable of showing any emotion at all. Seriously, Bravo. She sucks and she needs to stop showing up on set high off her ass.

Anyway... sayonara, Colin. No offense, but we never really got why so many people were praising you or how you got so far in the competition. You're cute, but you ain't no model.


[Photos: Aliya Naumoff - BravoTV.com/ - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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