Bruce and Emma Willis in W Magazine (MNSFW)

There's exposed boob and naked old man in this one, poodles. Consider yourself warned.

Celebrities just aren't like us, no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise. You see, we, the dignified non-celebrity, have the option of indulging in a mid-life crisis quietly and to the delight of our close friends and families. Celebrities are obligated to display theirs in multiple-page editorial layouts photographed by world-class photographers for high-circulation magazines to the delight and dismay of hundreds of thousands of strangers.

Thus, W hosted Bruce and new wife Emma for a dour BDSM-themed opportunity for Bruce to show as much skin as possible. On the one hand, it's beautifully photographed, on the other hand, it's off the charts on the self-indulgent scale and doesn't even show up on the tasteful one. We've said this before about equally as self-indulgent celebrities and we can't help thinking it again: it must be so weird to be one of his kids.

And if the layout wasn't self-indulgent enough, bring the air-sickness bag for the accompanying article:

" A word to the wise: If you’ve recently suffered a tough breakup, or are generally sullen or cynical regarding matters of the heart, avoid spending time in the company of newlyweds Bruce and Emma Willis. “We’re sickening,” Bruce says, shaking his head in mock disgust. “We make out in public. I know there’s some rule that you’re not supposed to be doing—what is it? Public displays of affection?”

“PDA,” says 32-year-old Emma, née Heming, helpfully supplying her 54-year-old husband with the slang term he’s searching for."

...

“We went on one date, on the Friday before Emma was getting ready to move back to New York, and then we fell mad crazy in love,” says Bruce. “When you think about where are you going to find that big love of your life, you seldom think it’s someone you already know. You think it’s someone you’re yet to meet.” Adds Emma, “I had never really dated. I’ve always been a relationship kind of person. But in that phase of my life I was like, You know what, maybe I’ll just date, see what it’s like. And I lasted one date.” Ever since, the two have been practically inseparable, often traveling together to her modeling shoots and his film sets, bouncing back and forth between L.A., where Bruce’s three daughters live, and New York, which they both prefer."

Gag.

Anyway, like we said, it's beautifully shot even if we tend to recoil at the creepy neediness of it that comes through. It's not a coincidence that the most interesting picture to us is the only one in which he's fully clothed.

Emma Willis wears Alexander McQueen’s leather and silver fox fur jacket and leather and sterling silver harness; Nicole Miller Collection’s leather shorts; Philip Treacy for Alexander McQueen hat; Dolce & Gabbana scarf; Alexander McQueen gloves; Nina Ricci boots.

Hermès’ leather skirt; Philip Treacy for Alexander McQueen hat.

Dior’s leather jacket; Eres’ silk and spandex briefs; Nina Ricci booties.


Givenchy’s eelskin vest and viscose and silk bra; Nicole Miller collection’s leather shorts; Michael Kors necklace; Nina Ricci boots.


Max Azria’s leather and suede dress; Balmain belt; Abakus cuff; Nina Ricci booties.




Dior’s leather jacket and skirt; Rodarte gloves.


Keiko’s lambskin bodysuit; Michael Kors necklace; Alexander McQueen boots.

Nina Ricci’s cotton tulle gown; Paul Seville mask.

Dolce & Gabbana’s muskrat and astrakhan jacket; Michael Kors’ leather dress; Chloe belt.

Dolce & Gabbana scarf. On him: Tom Ford’s wool and mohair tuxedo and cotton shirt and tie.

Photographer: Steven Klein
Stylist: Camilla Nickerson
Photographed on location at The Standard hotel, New York.


[Photos: Steven Klein/W Magazine]


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