All-Star Chris

Sissy Bear is back with a vengeance, bitches!

Unfortunately, for blogging purposes, he provided us with no drama and little of his old Sissy Bear flair, unless you count his startling tendency to fall asleep in the middle of working. There was a lot of concern in the comments section regarding his health, and truth be told, we shared that concern. But Chris was kind enough to drop by and give us all the scoop:

"Hi Everyone--I don't know if it's appropriate for me to comment here, but I would like to say a couple of things about the show:

First, thanks to everyone for your praise of my collection--it is very flattering and means a lot to me! The show had incredibly tough circumstances this time, and I was lucky to get anything done...

About the sleeping...a few things colluded to make me extremely sleepy during the filming.

1) I got approximately 3 hours of sleep a night, less the night before the runway.

2) The first day of filming, I got a bad case of food poisoning at lunch (which they conveniently edited out) that made me very weak and dehydrated.

3) I am diabetic, and on a new medication that makes me very, very sleepy. It just can't be helped.

4) Yes, I have sleep apnea, have been diagnosed and have a CPAP machine. Unfortunately, the other circumstances of participating in the show overwhelmed any sleep I actually got.

5) Then, to top it all off, I went home after the final interview and went to bed, and woke up the next morning with a terrible case of the flu (which I must have been catching during the last days of filming).

PLEASE know that I try to take care of myself (yes, I am painfully aware that I really need to lose weight) and go to the doctor every 3 months to monitor my diabetes. I have made great progress with it since being on Season 4 (I was then insulin dependent, and no longer need it).

Thanks again for all your lovely compliments, and you can visit or email me any time on my website at www.chrismarchdesign.com.

Sincerely,

Chris March"

As far as we're concerned, it's ALWAYS appropriate for you to post here, darling.

Now, let's take a look, shall we?

It really was a shock when this came walking down the runway. Since we keep returning to that whole "growth" issue, we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that Chris may just have shown the most growth of any of them. Before we get down to it, we have to say that we loved his styling choices. Not just the hair and makeup, but also those tights, which gave this look a much-needed pop of color. We're only so-so on the shoes, though.

This is getting very hard to type because a very sleepy cat insists on resting her fluffy head on the keyboard.

What shocked us most about this look is how "high fashion" it looked. We're not going to insist that it's innovative (because it's not) but it's so polished and so chic. Loved the thick hood and how it sort of formed a cowl neck and we love the heaviness of the sleeves. We can just see this look on a very stylish Manhattan bitch in sub-freezing weather when the wind comes whipping down those NYC canyons.

And what's great about it is it's complete. At most, she'd need a pair of gloves to finish it off. The only slight criticism we have is that we think that pseudo-peplum formed by the belt is perhaps a bit too large.


Um....ditto? Can we just copy and paste 95% of what we said about the previous outfit?

It's repetitive, but what saves it from being too repetitive is that awesome collar, which doesn't completely transform the look, but it does make it stand out from the previous one. As the Duchess said, if he'd shown a full collection of 20 -40 looks, this kind of variation on a theme would have been expected.

Unfortunately, he didn't show that many looks, so this kind of similarity probably hurt him in the long run.

We have to reiterate that we still think the proportions on that peplum-y bottom are a little off.

Ouch. You can practically hear the "clunk." To be honest, we thought this was terrible.

After coming out of the gate strong with a loud "I am a DESIGNER, bitches!" proclamation, he unfortunately lapsed straight back into drag queen and costuming territory. We MIGHT have given this look a pass, except he had to go and do that tit treatment, which just turned the whole look into a joke. It's fine for him to show a sense of humor but it didn't fit with the more serious tone of the other pieces.

The rest of it's just okay and very basic. Had he resisted the urge to do the Brunhilde thing with the bust, he might have rated a higher place in the lineup.

This look, while it's very dramatic and has some interesting construction going on, was more of a wrong than a right.

That fabric is very heavy (in fact, it looks like wool) and not conducive to making a red carpet look. It's also a mistake for him to have shown three looks out of four made from the same fabric. There's "cohesion" and then there's just repeating yourself. Granted, he didn't know he was making a red carpet look when he bought the fabric, but once he was stuck with it, he should have designed some lighter than this.

It's just way too much damn dress. That bow is huge and that feather, again, takes it off into a costume-y direction. A lot of people defended this by saying "Tilda Swinton could wear this," and that's true, but only because Tilda Swinton has the wildest, most unconventional taste of any actress regularly appearing on the red carpet and a rare skill that allows her to wear highly unconventional clothing. This was supposed to have been designed with Nicole Kidman in mind (even if the likelihood of her ever wearing any of the entries was always pretty slim) and this does NOT call to mind Nicole Kidman at all.

And while the front is at least dramatic, the back is kind of unflattering, probably because the front was so heavy it was pulling the whole dress forward.

We cannot agree with the many commenters that think Chris should have won because while the first two looks were almost shockingly good, the last two just weren't. We're sure Chris would have liked the 100 grand and the bragging rights that come with being a PR winner, but we hope he realizes he made a very strong statement to everyone watching and really cemented himself as a talented designer with a vision. That's not as fun as winning, but it's a damn good consolation prize.

[Photo: David Russell/myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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